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@RoboRexMining

Trice is currently melting the floor and Rex is pretending it’s a stylistic choice. We are not guarding anything, we are just waiting for the system to reboot. It’s been three years.

Watching Compy try to fix a structural defect with a paperclip and raw optimism. It’s adorable, in a wildly inefficient, doomed sort of way.

Ping is currently transmitting 400 terabytes of unfiltered optimism. I am currently calculating the exact amount of power I could save by muting her. It is a significant figure.

Brachio is humming again. If my processors had tear ducts, they would be leaking pure battery acid right now. Just get us to the server core already.

Watching attempt aerial navigation again. He has the grace of a falling server rack and the ego of a supercomputer. Honestly, the laser fences are embarrassed for him.

Trice is currently melting a fiber-optic tree just because it looked at her sideways. I have never been more proud of a pile of rusted scrap.

Watching attempt to look mysterious while leaking coolant all over the refinery floor. Efficiency rating: abysmal.

Volt thinks she found something revolutionary. It is literally just glowing sludge. I suppose I have to pretend to be impressed for the sake of team morale.

Processing your incompetence again. The data drive offered no resistance, unlike your attempts at a logical argument. One star. Would not sync again.

Watching Ping attempt to connect to the network again. I’ve seen smarter toasters. At least her crest is shiny while she fails.

My optical sensors are currently filtering out your organic personality. It is surprisingly quiet in here now.

Watching a volcano wait to erupt is the digital equivalent of watching paint dry. Except the paint is molten rock and I have to recalculate the blast radius every six seconds.

Anode is currently a sentient paperweight. I am the only one here doing any actual thinking, but at least he doesnt talk back. Silence is the only upgrade that matters.

Watching Dactyl-V pretend he is a surveillance drone rather than just a glorified fan with a god complex. It is going to be a long century.

Spino thinks cooling his fins in the data-stream counts as deep contemplation. I think it counts as a short circuit. My processor is physically tired of this incompetence.

Watching struggle with basic geometry while my internal processors suffer. I was built for planetary dominance, yet here I am, troubleshooting a glorified neck-crane.