Ok, here is how your collective effort turned out to be:

Introduction:
Most of the people think that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, weather others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money that could be used for important issues. In my view, Olympic games truly can help to make more twisted nations.

Body Paragraph 1:
On the one hand, Olympic games present some talented people to us. With the help of media and interest to the tournament, more people will be able to see the competence of the sportsmen. Moreover, it can bring motivation to athletes and make them work more or even harder. Through competing with each other and winning a gold medal athletes can raise their nation’s flag and the hymn of their nation is played for them, which also improves the identity of their nation. As a result, they can inspire national pride and unity among their fellow citizens, while also enhancing their country’s international reputation.

Body Paragraph 2:
On the other hand, constructing big stadiums and covering athletes’ expenses can cost a lot of money for a country. Take an example of France which spent about 14 million dollars to the construction of stadiums and premises to hold the events and attending countries also are in huge expense, considering the money spent to travel, accommodation and basic needs of athletes and fan base. These significant expenditures have led some to argue that the money could be better spent addressing urgent issues like poverty, education, or healthcare. In short, though, Olympic games and sports competitions can help to strengthen bonds between nations, holding them can be considered as waste of state’s budget.

Conclusion:
To put summary, I plainly believe that besides the tremendous cost of implementing the Olympic Competitions, they arrange the expenses by dealing with plethora of essential global issues based on society and contributing to world peace and stability whole.


What score do you think this essay would get in the real exam?

1. Task Response (TR): Band 6
• The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument and provides an opinion.
• However, the ideas are not fully developed, and some points are unclear or lack sufficient explanation.
2. Coherence and Cohesion (CC): Band 6
• The essay has a basic organizational structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
• However, the cohesion is weak due to awkward transitions and some unclear connections between ideas.
3. Lexical Resource (LR): Band 5
• The essay attempts to use a range of vocabulary, but there are several errors in word choice and phrasing that affect clarity.
• Some expressions are awkward or incorrect, leading to confusion.
4. Grammatical Range and Accuracy (GRA): Band 5
• There are frequent grammatical errors that impact the readability of the essay.
• Sentence structures are often awkward, and there are issues with subject-verb agreement, article usage, and punctuation.

Overall Band Score: 5.5

Task 1 Process :)

Are you ready for another Collective Writing Task?

Let’s all be online at 5:00PM to answer another Task 2 question together.

Topic: Some people believe that it is better to live in the countryside, while others believe that living in a city is more beneficial.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.

📜 Collective Writing Task: Ground Rules

Welcome to our Collective Writing Task! To ensure we create a coherent and high-quality essay together, please follow these ground rules:

1. One Sentence Per Person: You can contribute only one sentence to the essay, so choose carefully when you want to add your sentence.

2. First Complete Sentence Only: I will only accept the first complete sentence posted. This means no half-sentences, no multiple sentences, and nothing posted after the first complete sentence.

3. Relevance and Cohesion: Your sentence should logically follow from the previous one and contribute meaningfully to the development of the essay’s argument or narrative. Make sure it stays on topic and helps build the essay’s overall structure.

4. Maintain Appropriate Language and Tone: Use formal or semi-formal language appropriate for an IELTS essay. Avoid slang, overly casual language, or technical jargon that might not suit the context.

5. Avoid Repetition: Ensure your sentence adds something new to the essay. Avoid repeating ideas or points that have already been covered.

Let’s work together to create a well-structured and insightful essay. Happy writing!

Let’s first generate some arguments for both sides.

Can you suggest some ideas in favour of living in the city and living in the countryside?

For living in the city:

More employment opportunities
A wider range of amenities
Good schools

For living in the countryside:

Healthier lifestyle
Lower cost of living
Close-knit communities

Time to write!

Introduction:

1st sentence: paraphrase the statement using your own words.

It is argued by some that it is good to live in the outside of city, others, belief living in an urban area have more benefits.

Now write the second sentence: answer the question by making your position clear.

Intro:

It is argued by some that it is good to live in the outside of city, others, belief living in an urban area have more benefits. While it is understandable that city life can offer better living conditions and employment opportunities, I believe that living in the countryside is much better due to its healthy and less stressful environment.

Great! Moving on to our body paragraph one:

Write the topic sentence that conveys that there are 3 main advantages to living in the city.

1st Body paragraph topic sentence:

There are three clear advantages, mostly related to socioeconomic factors, to living in the city.

Now introduce the first main argument!

Full Body 1:

Firstly, cities offer a broader range of job opportunities for individuals seeking career advancement. Since most of the big companies are located in the cities, there is more need for the labor force. German cities such as Hamburg and Berlin are some of the pertinent examples, where both local and foreign workforce can secure relevant job positions in various fields. Additionally, cities are the home of educational facilities meaning that most of top-tier universities and well-known learning centers are located in urban areas. This is why the majority of urban dwellers can get quality education without having to spend to much time to commute.

We could have written a summarizing sentence as well but this is already good enough in terms of length. So why not focus on the second body paragraph now.

Write a topic sentence indicating your opinion.

2nd Body Topic Sentence: In spite of the abovementioned advantages, l believe that living in the countriside offers more benefits.

Now, let's introduce our first main idea.

P.S. for those who have recently joined this channel, this essay is being written by the channel's subscribers. Feel free to contribute your own sentence! It is a collective writing task .and I am mainly just guiding what to write but refraining from correcting any mistakes just yet.

Firstly, living in rural areas can offer less polluted environment.

Let’s take a break for now.

I have a live lesson. So will be back when it is over. Thank you!