mike you should listen to the voices in your head and start tearing apart your walls they're infested with otters

Women sabotage other women by telling them to cut their hair. Men sabotage other men by telling them to go into the trades or start a boring business.

Bro please listen to me bro all you have to do is get an HVAC license and open your own shop bro just one hit of HVAC bro please no it’s not a job where you’re crawling through piles of asbestos it’s a different strain bro

No clients. No blackmail. Just the love of the game.

A Shi’a 12 Percenter with the name Zohran Mamdani, probably the most Persian name you could think of, LARPing as an Indian is even less believable than George Santos LARPing as Jewish yet somehow it also fools everybody in politics. David Duke should just re-enter politics by telling everyone he’s black he’d get elected again.

Ozzy and Hulk are ripping mango Juul pods in Heaven with Hitler now. RIP HH brothers.

Getting holocausted in your Birkenstocks at the October 7th rave is peak Israeli boomer, that’s the high watermark, the point at which the wave rolled back.

Nothing ever happens and when it does the Jews did it.

I've put this off quite long enough.

In October of 2023, I started using Grindr to meet men for sex on a regular basis.

I don't want to promote or normalize this behavior. I don't recommend that anyone try it. I'm only telling you this because it interacts with the story I've been struggling to tell you.

I decided years ago that I was not going to talk about my sex life in public because it had negative effects on my relationships with women. I certainly had no desire to announce this shit publicly.

But it turns out my enemies have known about this for a long fucking time. Prior to Charlottesville, even. This detail will shed light on a number of events over the last 8 years.

I specify, "on a regular basis", because 2023 was not the first nor the 6th time I had done this.

My first sexual contact with a man was when I was between the ages of 14 and 16. I don't quite recall. It was probably a crime at the time, but I wasn't about to report it as one because I literally asked for it.

Sparing the details for now, I was disgusted by the experience back then, and concluded it wasn't for me.

I wasn't attracted to men.
I didn't have sexual fantasies about men.
I did pretty well with girls, for that matter.

But I wanted to get off "now" and unless you're paying for it, women don't just show up whenever you want them to. There's a lot of investment involved.

Since I was grossed out by this, I didn't do it again for a long time.

I guess sometime in my 20s I started hearing about Grindr from gay friends. I decided to try it, always drunk late at night, after all female options had been exhausted and "I just wanted to get off now".

From then until October of 2023, I maybe did this six or ten times. I'd signed onto the app many more times than that, but I mean that I actually pulled it off that many times.

In all of these instances, it was just me receiving oral sex.

I had no sexual contact with men in jail or prison. Everybody always asks this when I tell the story, now you know.

Each time I did this, it was still awkward as fuck, and that's a totally separate matter from my dread of anyone finding out. But it was a little less awkward each time.

The first time I did it, the guy was way older than me and unattractive even by those standards. I didn't give a fuck what he looked like because if I wanted to look at somebody I'd look at a woman. I thought of this not so differently than some people might think about a massage. I just wanted somebody to do a good job.

But some men are better looking than others even if you're not attracted to men, and I came to figure out what should be obvious enough, that younger better looking guys were a decidedly less awkward situation.

Some of you have heard me tell the story of the woman that I reconnected with when I got out of prison. I had asked her to marry me in 2014, but she didn't want kids and I was pretty well devastated by this at the time. It was why I quit drinking and started working out. I wanted better dating options after what felt to me like rejection.

Well, she changed her mind about not having kids, but by this time, 9 years had passed. She was older than me, and there was no certainty she could have one child, safely, much less three. So although I was in love with her, I explained that I figured I'd have better options for family in a couple of years, and I didn't want to leave her for a better deal, or spend the rest of my life resenting her for holding me back. I ended the relationship, and neither of us fared well in the wake of this.

I didn't want to go through that again. I didn't want to marry the type of woman who would marry a broke guy fresh out of prison. I didn't want to abandon my media career to make more money faster. But I knew if I was dating peer aged women for sex with no intention of marrying them, that I would both endure and inflict a great deal of pain, and I did not want to do that.

So for 8 months or so, I avoided women and did not have sex.

In October of 2023, I registered my first post prison Grindr account.

More coming

Cantwell is literally unironically deadass an out of the closet flaming homosexual now LMFAO

On a long enough timeline schizo shitposting is either proven right about everything or trolls you into the insanity of actually going on Grindr and getting fucked by dudes

🎶It was all a dream, I used to read Gay Times magazine,
Elton John and Freddy Merc up in the limousine,
Playgirl pictures on my wall,
Every Saturday Lance Bass, Boy George, Lady Ga
I let my pants sag ‘til my ass sagged,
Smokin' meth in Cville, sippin' on wine bags,
Way back, when I had the white and black prison pants,
With the hat to match,
Remember Vice News? Duh-ha, duh-ha,
You never thought that Cantwell would take it this far,
Now I’ve got no fans and my Grindr got banned,
Time to get paid by blowin’ up my butt like the World Trade,
Born sinner, the opposite of a winner,
Remember when I used to eat ass for dinner,
Peace to Mikey, Ghoulie, Alt H-Y-P
Greg Johnson, Richard Spencey,
I'm blowin' dudes like you thought I would,
Call the crib, same number, same hood,
It's all good,
And if you don't know, now you know, wigger🎶

I’ve been out of the loop for a minute and came back at precisely the funniest time lol

Cantwell wrote gay erotic literature LMAO. How much of a faggot do you have to be to sit down and write 50 Shades of Gay?

Cantwell has spent entire nights wiping his tears with another man’s ballsack because my posts upset him.

There's another one that I don't have handy where I'm fucking a Jewish tranny and I say

"Whats your ethnic background?"
"Jeeeeeeeew"
"Then why is there a Nazi dick in your ass?"
"Because I wanted it"

Whole thing is pretty fuckin funny.

Charlie Kirk arranged for his own murder so he didn’t have to hear the Cantwell audio. He was a wise man.

I don’t even have to say who posted this

I had a pretty bad October of 2023 but it was nowhere near smoking crack with a cross dresser bad thanks for the perspective Cantwell.