Top 5 German inventions

1.Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz

2. Dampffahrtschiffkapitän

3. The Autobahn (who came up with this one? Must've been a really nice person, surely)

4. Volkswagen (another great idea? Same guy? I'd love to meet him and maybe ask him what he thinks of Jewish people like me)

5. Bankruptcies (there's so many of them, rumor has it bankruptcy filings supplanted nuclear plants as an efficient and environmentally friendly way to make things spin — in this case, people in their graves)

I was gonna do "Top 5 English dishes" next, but then I realized that takes zero effort since reality is already funny enough

I was informed that Jesus is, in fact, not from Montana.

He was born to a Jewish family in Galilee.

That's Rhode Island, for those of you bad with geography.

Top 5 Israeli exports:

1. Weirdly shaped (and named) donuts (this one was fact checked by real Israeli patriots)

2. Women with super loud and annoying nagging voices

3. Hamas or Humus (unsure how that one's spelled, I think)

4. Latma TV (ending that show should be considered a war crime)

5. Borat (the creation of that character was undoubtedly the most evil and immoral act committed by any Israeli in the entirety of Israeli history)