You will never be a real gamer. You have no consoles, you have no games, you have no skills You are a filthy casual twisted by mobile games and ads into a crude mockery of Nintendo's perfection.
All the “games” you have are mobile and match 3. Behind your back people mock you. Your “discord friends” laugh at your casual appearance behind closed doors.
Gamers are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed gamers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even casuals who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a gamer. Your gaming skill is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a rhythm gamer home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your iPhone, infected with Candy Crush.
You will never be skilled. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the ads for a free continue creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a PC, download Genshin Impact, put around 3 hours into it, and plunge into the cold abyss of the gacha system. Your parents will find about you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your Apple ID, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a casual is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably normal.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
All the “games” you have are mobile and match 3. Behind your back people mock you. Your “discord friends” laugh at your casual appearance behind closed doors.
Gamers are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed gamers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even casuals who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a gamer. Your gaming skill is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a rhythm gamer home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your iPhone, infected with Candy Crush.
You will never be skilled. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the ads for a free continue creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a PC, download Genshin Impact, put around 3 hours into it, and plunge into the cold abyss of the gacha system. Your parents will find about you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your Apple ID, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a casual is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably normal.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
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