We’ve seen how harsh parenting stresses kids out – who wouldn’t feel overwhelmed when they’re yelled at? But in the long term, you might think strict discipline leads to better grades – kids learn to push themselves no matter what. But is it really a good thing?

Researchers found that children who are pressured to succeed and made to feel bad if they don’t often lose the drive to do things because they enjoy them. As a result, they don’t study out of curiosity or a love of learning — they do it to avoid feeling guilty or to earn a pat on the back from their parents.

And that’s the lesser evil. Others raised this way can lose all motivation altogether. After being constantly pushed to do things they didn’t want and punished for messing up, they just stop believing they can ever get it right.

Kids raised without such pressure — who were listened to, given choices, and supported in their initiatives — might struggle to force themselves to do things they don’t enjoy. But the best part is they don’t need to, since they’re often driven by genuine interest. They dive into learning because they want to, not because they’re scared not to. The truth is, this kind of motivation actually leads to better results — higher grades included.

Looks like you'll achieve far more by following your genuine interests than by chasing praise, grades, or success for the sake of it. That’s why it’s so important for parents to help children connect with what they truly enjoy and give them space to grow at their own pace. Don’t raise children to chase success — inspire their curiosity and passion, and success will find them. Science backs it up!

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#StudentPsychology #Parenting

A strong and loved heart weathers any storm

Kids go through so much as they grow and change, especially closer to their teenage years. Yet, when they have to deal with not having enough food, or when their classmates laugh at their worn shoes, they feel more fragile than ever. Not everyone, though.

Children can still live a happy and full life even when it isn't a fairy tale on the outside. But for this, they need to be able to handle stress and regain balance. So, what does it take?

Researchers found that it has a lot to do with kids’ self-esteem. Those who believe in themselves face stress with a positive mindset, confident that their circumstances don’t define them – which ultimately helps them rise above. Those who don’t, however, may feel like they deserve their struggles, which can lead to hopelessness.

Even more important is their belief that they can handle challenges. It’s not just about knowing they have value — it’s about feeling in control, confident that they can take action and help themselves through tough situations.

Moreover, family support plays a key role in helping kids stay balanced, because at this age, family is their biggest source of safety, comfort, and acceptance. It’s all about how loved and valued they feel by the people closest to them.

So, children with confidence in their abilities and supportive families are equipped to weather any storm — not just now, but in the future too. That’s why even a simple “You’ve got this” can go a long way, no matter the situation.

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#ChildrenVulnerability #Parenting #PsychologicalResilience

Built-in struggles, built-in solutions!

What do figuring out who ate the last cookie and cracking a new math puzzle have in common? Kids can do both thanks to “fluid intelligence”: the power of our brain to think fast, spot patterns, think abstractly, and solve problems we've never seen before.

It’s not just a superpower for tricky situations: we use it to solve everyday tasks and learn new things quickly. And for kids with learning challenges — from ADHD, autism, brain injury, etc. — a lack of fluid intelligence is the biggest reason they struggle to build new skills, as found by the scholars.

The problem is, fluid intelligence mostly comes from how the brain is built, meaning it’s not so easy to "develop" it like a habit. But good news is, there are still ways to train it — by working on the skills that are closely linked to it.

Memory, how well kids can picture things, and how easily they use language — all of this plays a big role. And for kids with delayed development, fluid intelligence affects even more areas, including how well they remember things over time and how quickly they can make sense of information.

Such kids have all their thinking processes connected more tightly, as their brains have fewer mental resources to work with. When it comes to fluid intelligence, this “curse” can become their “blessing”: training one skill can boost their problem-solving and abstract thinking powers more than you’d expect.

So, by training skills like memory and language, these special kids can really add fuel to an engine that helps them tackle their learning challenges with more confidence and ease!

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#LearningDisabilities #FluidIntelligence

Let them play!

Life can be overwhelming, even more so when you’re little. Fears, frustrations, confusing emotions, especially in our time of information overload: it’s a lot for a child to carry. But there’s a powerful way to help them make sense of it all, as found by researchers: just let them play.

Even video games can do part of the job. Well, a small one: they do ease anxiety, and some can even help with self-regulation. Yet, they lack real social interaction, which kids need to grow emotionally.

Now picture outdoor play — running, climbing, negotiating who gets the swing next. Here, children move their bodies, connect with peers, and learn social skills on the fly. Or think play with rules, like Freeze Dance: these help kids learn self-control: they have to stop, wait, take turns, and follow directions. Add a bit of imagination — like in Charades — and it becomes even more powerful.

The same goes for play with toys — the more imagination is involved, the better. Spinning a toy car in circles might be soothing. But give that car a backstory — say, it’s racing to deliver medicine — and your child is learning to understand emotions.

Yet, the most beneficial kind of play for kids is pretend play: they stretch their imagination to the fullest, explore adult roles, and navigate complex emotions. In these make-believe worlds, they become teachers, firefighters, astronauts. They make the rules, solve the problems, and experience a sense of control that’s hard to find elsewhere.

And when a caring adult joins in, the effect grows stronger. Whether they’re helping build a castle or playing the villain in a superhero saga, adults can guide, support, and make kids feel seen.

So maybe, in a world that often feels upside down, the way forward for our little ones is to imagine, explore, and connect. Because children aren’t just playing — they’re planting seeds of strength that will carry them through the real world.

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#PretendPlay #EmotionalRegulation

Simplicity is the soul of wit

We talked about the benefits of play for kids. Yet, what are they playing with? Today’s toys are colourful, multifunctional, and packed with beloved characters! But what if that’s exactly the issue?

Play should spark kids’ imagination, because adults can hardly learn this “skill”. In play, kids come up with their situations and explore the impossible. But character-based toys can get in the way. Robot puppies and Peppa Pig plushies come with fixed stories and limited functions, leaving little space for kids to invent their own worlds.

Yet, recent research showed that nearly half of preschoolers prefer flashy, character-based toys. Toy companies know it, flooding stores with figures from the popular shows. These do promise instant fun, and owning one can even be social gold: “I’ve got the newest Paw Patrol — do you?” And still, they leave no room for imagination. What is a better alternative then?

Simple toys, like wooden blocks or Legos. These don’t come with stories but invite kids to invent their own. A block can be a car, a castle, or a spaceship. No rules, no scripts, just pure creativity. In fact, blocks act like a language of play, helping kids share ideas and build stories together. Bad news is, this type of toys is the least popular. So, who is to blame and what to do?

Marketing plays a huge part, but let’s hear the kids out. Some say blocks are “just squares” and “boring.” Others admit, “I don’t know what to build.” And that’s the heart of it: such toys ask kids to create, not just consume. But if they are used to toys doing all the entertaining, they may not know how to start imagining on their own.

So, if you want your child to grow into a true creator, someone who dreams big — you’ve got to show them how. Take their hand, step into that open-ended world together. Show them how a simple wooden block can become anything. Once they see the magic, they’ll never lose it.

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#ChildDevelopment #ImaginationDevelopment #ToyPreference

Watch the breath, watch the change

We’ve discussed that today’s teens are more depressed and anxious than ever. That’s bad in itself, but feeling overwhelmed for too long can lead them to the point where they just can’t cope anymore.

Imagine a 15-year-old who used to love hanging out with friends, but now avoids texts and snaps at the smallest things. Or a quiet kid who starts taking risks just to feel something. When teens can’t manage their emotions, it leads to all sorts of consequences — from impulsive decisions to self-harm and broken ties.

So, how bad is the situation really?

Researchers found that teens are indeed struggling. Many don’t fully understand what they’re feeling, and even when they do, accepting those emotions is a whole other battle. Instead of working through them, they often shut down and bottle things up.

What they’re really missing are healthy ways to deal with what’s going on inside, like accepting what they feel and reshaping how they think about it. It all starts with something simple: noticing their emotions. Then, what’s harder, doing so without judgment. Reminds you of anything? That’s the core of meditation! Indeed, research shows teens who meditate are much better at handling emotional storms.

Rooted in ancient Eastern wisdom, mindfulness is making its way into modern therapy. It’s not unusual for a therapist to pause mid-session and say,

“Take a breath. Feel your feet on the ground.”

Because there’s real power in grounding yourself and tuning into what’s happening inside.

Sure, therapy — and medication when needed — are key. But good to know there’s something you can do alongside it. Just ten minutes a day, sitting still and following your breath. If it helps teens face the chaos inside, imagine what it can do for you.

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#TeenageBehaviour #EmotionalDysregulation #Meditation

“Go play outside!”

— we say, hoping to pull our kids away from screens. But it’s more than that. Climbing, catching, balancing, building with blocks — children’s motor skills shape how they explore the world. When a kid struggles to use their hands with ease, they don’t just miss out on games, they miss out on socializing and learning.

Motor skills are shaped by everything, including biology and even culture.
🖇A recent study found that girls are better at balancing and fine motor tasks, while boys often excel at throwing and catching. Perhaps it’s different playgrounds — while girls are often busy drawing or skipping rope, boys are out chasing balls.

The same study found that motor skills are tied to executive function — our brain’s control center. One part is visual working memory, especially important for fine hand skills and balancing abilities. Picture a child trying to thread beads onto a string — they need to keep track of the bead’s size, shape, and position, while guiding it with their fingers. Or walking across a narrow curb — they have to constantly adjust their steps based on what they see, keeping their body steady.

Yet, motor inhibition — the ability to control impulses – is the most essential for all types of motor skills. When catching a ball, a child needs to resist flinching too early. While balancing on a curb, they have to focus and fight the urge to rush their steps, and same goes for doing something delicate, like tying shoelaces or placing stickers.

Turns out, cordination and movement skills are not so much about physical strength or energy levels as they are about control — knowing when and how to move — and using memory to guide actions. So, games like “Red Light, Green Light,” memory cards, or fun obstacle runs boost focus, self-control, and help them move with confidence. Little brain workouts today can lead to big moves tomorrow.

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#ExectutiveFunction #MotorCompetence

We blame screens for everything — but what if they’re not the main villain behind kids’ struggles with focus, memory, and self-control?

A recent study showed that in families with two kids, what really makes a difference is whether you’re the older or younger sibling. This affects kids’ verbal working memory: how well they remember and use information — for example, whether they can follow a multi-step task or keep a question in mind while thinking of the answer.

Turns out, if two kids from different families are the same age, the one who’s the elder sibling is better at remembering what they hear or read. Perhaps, that’s because they grow up in a richer learning environment: quieter homes and more one-on-one attention. Plus, when they get a brother or sister, they often step into a grown-up role, helping out and even becoming teachers to their younger ones.

On the contrary, second-born kids often stay the “baby” of the family longer, with everyone talking to them as if they were still toddlers. This can hold back their verbal memory development.

Yet, it’s to early to write off the effects of screen time. While there was no direct link, one pattern did emerge: second-borns spend more time playing video games and sitting on the phone than first-borns of the same age. They may follow the lead of their older siblings, who already go to school and are deep into screen activities. And this could be one of the true reasons why second-born kids have worse verbal working memory.

Parents may view siblings playing video games together as bonding, and that’s fair. However, it might be quietly chipping away at your younger child’s verbal memory. So, it’s worth keeping an eye on how much screen time the little ones get. (Check out our post on how to prevent screen time tantrums).
Because today’s habits shape tomorrow’s minds.

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#ExectutiveFunction #ScreenTime

What do you think your child, nephew or little sister would wish for if they saw a shooting star? A cool video game? A best friend who never leaves? Or maybe peace for everyone?

What shapes how big kids' wishes are?

Scholars found, it depends on how well they can understand their emotions. Kids who struggled to make sense of their feelings often couldn’t come up with wishes at all — or just said what they thought adults wanted to hear, like

“I want to behave.”

That’s only natural: to have real wishes, they need to understand what brings them joy or sadness.

Most 4-year-olds on the study did have wishes, and those were usually about material things, like toys or candy. At this age, kids are just starting to figure out their feelings, and can mostly focus on what’s around them that brings them joy right away. So, it’s okay if their biggest wishes at this age come down to

“a giant chocolate cake”

or

“a pink scooter just like the neighbour girl has”.

Some kids were better than others at recognizing how the world makes them feel. They figured that being respected by friends or praised by adults may feel even better than a new toy. So, their wishes were more about status, like getting a star sticker from the teacher or being chosen first for a game.

Others understood that feelings come just from inside, like memories. Interestingly, their wishes were less about things and more about people — like having their best friend nearby or spending time playing together. Perhaps, they could feel deeper because they learned more about emotions through connecting with others.

At four years old, kids may not yet dream of making the world a better place. They’re not thinking about schoolwork either. This may come later, as they grow and learn that true happiness can come from helping others or working hard. Our job is to gently guide them there, so their wishes can grow into something deeper.

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#EmotionalDevelopment #PreschoolerPsychology #ValueOrientations

A child sticks to mom and sits quietly alone as other kids laugh and chase each other around the playground.
This little one likely feels scared and shuts down to avoid those overwhelming feelings. Parents and teachers might miss it, but this battle is serious. If lost, it can lead to problems with learning, friendships, and confidence.

Kindergartens need routines that help these young hearts feel strong and safe. And no — it’s not just about play. There’s something more powerful.

🖇Research points to art-based projects. Imagine a group of kids putting on a play, using a script they wrote themselves. They get to turn their big feelings into stories and characters. They also watch their ideas come to life — and start to believe those ideas matter. When others watch, listen, and clap, kids feel seen. And less afraid to speak up or make mistakes in front of others.

Doesn’t then pretend play – like playing wizards from a fantasy book – help kids express themselves too? Only to a point. In such play, they follow the story, a set of characters, without really exploring their own thoughts. There’s no finished product to look back on, and adults rarely focus on helping kids to build something of their own.

But as we know, pretend play does help develop good memory and the ability to quickly understand things. And these are useful skills to help kids feel less anxious. So, looks like it still plays a role in easing hard feelings.

We can help kids who feel scared and shy. But be careful! Art projects unhinge creativity, but kids should not be afraid of messing up: celebrate every idea and make sure these growing minds feel accepted. And for pretend play to help, the story should fit the specific struggles a child has. Give them the right care and attention, and you’ll light the way for their confidence to shine!

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#AnxietyWithdrawal #ChildrenPsychology #Parenting

Jekyll and Hyde of our time

One child sets a reminder to finish a school project, messages their grandma on WhatsApp, and checks tomorrow’s schedule in the calendar app. Another plays games and scrolls through funny videos. Both are using screens.

Is this why some say digital devices boost memory and logic, while others warn they do the opposite? Maybe it’s not about how long they use screens, but about how they use them?

When a child searches for answers online, talks to a friend, or sets alarms to manage their day, the device turns into a problem-solving tool. It helps kids take control of their actions and even influence others – for example, reminding a friend about their plans. They learn to understand what needs to be done to reach a goal — and how to do it.

🖇Research shows that third graders who use gadgets as tools are better at adjusting their behavior to the situation. Instead of automatically reacting to what they see,

"It’s black, so I say it’s black"

, they can remember the task,

"I was told to say the opposite, so I say it’s white ".

They can think before they respond or do something — and that’s what makes up voluntary behavior, a key step in kids' development.

If we show our kids how to turn screens into smart helpers, they’ll build skills that help them grow — and spend less time lost in endless funny videos. For younger kids, there’re games that help too — most importantly, they should have to do with social roles. Say, a game where children run a virtual store together would help them develop communication skills while having fun.

When screen time is guided like this, devices become a true ally in growth and learning.

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#ScreenTime #VoluntaryBehavior #Parenting

A little boy accidentally knocks over another child’s sandcastle. He pauses, frowns, and says,

“I didn’t mean to. I’d be sad if someone did that to me. I’ll help you fix it.”

Nearby, another 5-year-old grabs a toy someone was playing with, ignores the tears of the playmate, and runs off laughing.

The difference between the two is that one can deeply understand emotions — both their own and everyone else’s — and the other can’t yet. It’s about knowing how you feel, why you feel that way and feeling good or bad depending on whether you did a good thing. And that’s a skill to develop.

So, why is one child aware, while the other isn’t? It's partly about executive function: kids with better cognitive flexibility find it easier to take a step back and see the situation in a new way.

But there’s more. We discussed earlier that kids with a younger sibling have a better memory. Looks like that’s not the only benefit they get.

🖇Research shows that older brothers and sisters are better at understanding emotions. Being an older one often means protecting, comforting, explaining things. A 6-year-old girl might calm her 3-year-old brother when he’s upset because he can’t find his favorite toy. To do that, she has to see the world through her brother’s eyes. This everyday practice helps older kids notice what others feel and learn to balance their own wants with someone else’s.

So, do older brothers and sisters have an unfair advantage? Maybe. But we can create chances for all kids to practice caring and understanding. Bringing kids of different ages together to play, work, and learn from each other — with the older ones showing the way — can make a big difference. In the end, it’s not just about having a younger sibling — it’s about having the space to grow by caring for someone else.

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#EmotionDevelopment #EmotionUnderstanding

It never rains but it pours?

Caring for a child on the autism spectrum is not easy. But what if such family was forced to flee their home? The routines they’ve built are shattered. Suddenly, they’re in a new place, rebuilding their child’s fragile world while trying to survive themselves.

Yet, mothers who got into such crisis situation have a lesson or two for all of us.
🖇Researchers found they were less satisfied with life and lacked the support they needed — more so than those sharing the same struggles in the comfort of their homes. And still, they did not feel more depressed or stressed than those living in a more stable environment.

Lesson #1: they reached out to people. Not just to doctors, but to neighbours and some newly met faces too. They asked questions, sought advice, and built new connections wherever they could. When cut off from their usual support, leaning on a wider community often becomes a lifeline.

Lesson #2: they didn’t rely on harmful coping behaviours like chain-smoking or Internet browsing — in fact, they did it less than those living in safer, more stable conditions. Thus, they left space for healthier ways to cope — like practicing mindfulness, or connecting with other parents facing the same challenges.

Lesson #3: they pictured a future that felt brighter and easier to handle. That kind of mindset is a powerful tool for staying focused, making plans, and keeping steady in the chaos.

No matter what life throws at you, remember the strength of these brave women. Stay hopeful, steer clear of harmful habits, and don’t be afraid to reach out for support — even if there’s no one close by. It might just change everything.

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#AutismDisorder #ForcedMigration #SocialSupport

Some toddlers pick up lots of words while others struggle to learn new vocabulary. It depends on the way their parents act – and it’s about so much more than just reading alphabet books together.

🖇A recent study found that in Russia, kids have worse language skills if their parents are emotionally distant and do not respond attentively when their child tries to communicate. And these can be loving parents, it’s just that they believe things like:

“Too much attention spoils a child”
or
"If they don’t talk, they don’t understand speech either”

So, they are less likely to do the very things that help kids learn language: talking, playing, asking questions.

Yet it might be too soon to draw conclusions. The method came from the U.S., where parenting is about open emotions and encouraging kids to speak up. In Russia, where resilience is valued much more, the same actions can impact kids differently. A Russian parent might say,

“Not every time — they need to toughen up,”

when asked about comforting a crying child. It’s not about lack of love, but a different idea of good parenting — one that might make sense in that cultural setting.

So, comparing parenting across cultures is tricky. Even in the UK and Norway — cultures similar to the U.S. — the same method didn’t quite fit. Warm, supportive parenting didn’t improve language skills, and being strict didn’t hurt them. A proof that there’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to bringing up kids.

Still, one thing’s clear: the way parents respond to their kids shapes how they learn to speak. No matter the culture or tradition, it’s important to make space for kids to be heard. After all, every culture has its own path — hope you find yours!

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#Parenting #CrossCulturalStudy

A 15-year-old girl is kicked out of a group chat. Later that day, she discovers her classmates are sharing screenshots of her posts for laughs. She feels like something’s wrong with her — and now she’s scared to go to school.

🖇 Sadly, almost half of teenagers were in her shoes facing cyberbullying in one form or another – as found by research. Being left out like this can trigger anxiety, depression and disrupt how the brain handles emotions. For teens, feeling accepted is key to well-being.

The most common cyberbullying tactics are social exclusion (ignoring or unfollowing a person), hurtful rumors, and personal information turned against the victim (sharing personal messages to embarrass them). And most of the time, it’s not strangers. In more than two-thirds of cases, it’s classmates behind the bullying.

Many believe it’s done just for fun or to feel powerful. It’s often a way for teens to climb the social ladder — to prove themselves in front of others or to fit in with the group. Some join in the bullying just to go along with friends. Others use it to vent built-up anger or frustration, lashing out at those who seem weaker.

What can the victim do?

Talk to someone they trust. Good thing is, most teens do just that — younger ones often go to their parents, while older teens turn to friends. Having someone who listens and cares helps them feel less alone and more in control – something that a cyberbully tries to take away.

Parents can make a big difference too but they often miss the signs. Many don’t even understand why being mocked online can be a tragedy for their kid. But in fact, anyone who sees a cruel post can either make things worse or completely turn them around. As people grow older, they’re more likely to think “someone else will help.”

Truth is, your reaction matters. Whether you're a parent, a friend, or just someone passing by — don’t ignore online bullying. One small action might be the one that makes all the difference.

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#cyberbullying #adolescentpsychology

Why do some people fight injustice while others defend the status quo? One person volunteers and joins a protest. Another shrugs:

“That’s just how the world works.”

One of the answers is – fear. On both sides.
🖇A recent study found that depending on what exactly people are afraid of, they either cling to the system or start questioning it.

Some people see the world as a constant battle for survival. For them, social hierarchies are a necessity because status means better chances: more resources, more protection, more control. They support inequality because it feels like a natural outcome of who’s "winning".

Others see the world as a chaotic place where anything can go wrong at any moment. They see the problem in the system: it feels unfair and out of their control. In that fear, they may seek stricter rules or stronger leadership to restore the order.

Those hit by real economic danger — losing a job, struggling to pay bills – question the system too. At times like this, inequality feels personal. People start seeking justice: they want a state that steps in when things fall apart.

Fear of death splits people apart and hardens what they already believe in – perhaps, they try to restore a sense of predictability. For many people it means believing that life’s outcomes are determined by the system. So, social inequality make sense, confirming the idea that

“people get what they deserve”.

Political views are often rooted in fear. Yet we can learn to choose with clarity. It starts with rebuilding a sense of control and nurturing our self-esteem. The stronger we feel inside, the less the outside world shakes us.

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#EconomicSystemJustification #politicalpsychology

Someone’s grinning at a birthday party – looks like they’re having a great time. A few moments later, you learn it’s their last day in town before moving away from family. And suddenly, the same smile feels completely different.

How soon do we learn to read between the lines of someone’s laugh or tears? Could a 4-year-old spot the hidden feeling in a moment like this?

The answer is yes!
🖇 Research shows that children as young as 4 can guess how someone feels just by looking at the situation around them — without even seeing the person’s face. And in a couple of years, they grow even more confident in reading people’s emotions from the context — they notice more details and can connect to a wider range of feelings.

Moreover, once they get extra clues, even small ones can quickly and radically adjust what they think. For example, a child might see someone sitting alone by the window and assume they’re feeling lonely. But when they learn that the person is waiting for a friend, their guess changes — and they agree that the person is excited instead.

Instead of feeling confused, the new details actually help kids understand the situation better and trust their judgment. So, kids don’t just change their minds — they become more certain about their guesses when they get more information.

Looks like from an early age, children are already picking up on the twists and turns of real-life emotions, learning to read the hidden stories behind people’s faces and actions.

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#EmotionalCompetence #EmotionUnderstanding

Another brick out of the wall?

Starting every school year not knowing who will teach your child? Students find it hard to trust yet another teacher, lose track of what they’ve learned, classes get disrupted. In many places, that’s the reality. Nearly half of teachers on the current study say they’ve thought about quitting.

“I’m so tired of not getting paid enough!”

“I don’t see any prospects for development!”

We stay on a job either because it inspires us — recognition, growth, achievement — or because the basics are covered: fair pay, decent conditions, and job security. The latter doesn’t really boost happiness, but take it away, and you get a strong reason to be dissatisfied.

🖇 A study of foreign teachers in China found that pay and relationships with colleagues are what matters most. Many felt their hard work wasn’t truly acknowledged and were dissatisfied with basic working conditions. For them, other challenges pile up too: new culture, isolation, unclear salary rules, or even pay gaps tied to nationality. But it’s often under pressure that our fundamental needs become visible.

Someone may keep going purely out of passion for their work. And it is inspiring. But it can rarely last forever. The simple truth is, to keep motivation alive, the basics have to be there: fair pay and open communication. For schools, that means talking to teachers about their needs, offering mentorship, and investing in their growth.

When teachers feel valued, it shows — in every student who thrives.

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#TeacherRetention #TurnoverIntentions #JobSatisfaction