Compared to horror movies, Ted is the best case scenario for a stuffed animal coming to life.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Cows would probably be mad if they find out that we squeeze their udders to make money and not for personal massages.

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In order to fall asleep you must first pretend to sleep.

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If all of us were to have enough sleep, the whole world would be in a much different state than now

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Fire trucks are actually water trucks

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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Companies should send you a read receipt when you apply for a job on their website

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Banks are kind of weird. "Give us all your money to store here and we promise we'll give it back"

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Time flies when you are having fun, but if you are a frog, time is fun when you're having flies

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I've opened my phones calendar accidently to use my calculator more than I've opened it to plan my calendar.

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We say "www" even though "World Wide Web" is three times shorter to say.

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@Bluntly I like this even though it's so badly edited 😂

Do you think woodpeckers get really bad headaches?

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The thought of a hidden camera in my room freaks me out but I have my phone's camera looking at me almost 24/7.

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Hearing a song on the radio is way better than hearing it when you choose to play it

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Allergies are when your body decides to dislike something instead of your brain

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Muting an ad feels like winning

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@PensivePost Damn!

@PensivePost #poem

A pound of butter
There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to a baker. One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting the right amount, which he was not. Angry about this, he took the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure to weight the butter. The farmer replied, “Honor, I am primitive. I dont have a proper measure, but I do have a scale.” The judge asked, “Then how do you weigh the butter?” The farmer replied; “Your honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Everyday when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker."

We get back in life what we give to others. Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others get into illusion and forget what the truth is. In the end, they are deceiving themselves.

@PensivePost #story #life