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Going to sleep is like practicing for dying.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
A trash bag will eventually become a piece of the clutter it seeks to minimize.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
What if reoccurring dreams are actually where you go when you die.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
I will always be filled with the same sense of wonder when I open a hotel room door for the first time.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Changing the wallpaper on my phone after a while makes me feel like I got a new phone.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
A solar eclipse is the moon going on strike from its job.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Microsoft sounds more like a blanket company.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Compared to horror movies, Ted is the best case scenario for a stuffed animal coming to life.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Cows would probably be mad if they find out that we squeeze their udders to make money and not for personal massages.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
In order to fall asleep you must first pretend to sleep.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
If all of us were to have enough sleep, the whole world would be in a much different state than now

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Fire trucks are actually water trucks

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Companies should send you a read receipt when you apply for a job on their website

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Banks are kind of weird. "Give us all your money to store here and we promise we'll give it back"

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
Time flies when you are having fun, but if you are a frog, time is fun when you're having flies

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
I've opened my phones calendar accidently to use my calculator more than I've opened it to plan my calendar.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
We say "www" even though "World Wide Web" is three times shorter to say.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts
@Bluntly I like this even though it's so badly edited 😂
Do you think woodpeckers get really bad headaches?

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts