Teachers have to be in school from the age of 5 until they retire.

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The more intelligence and expertise you have, the higher the number of mental software screens you're running on mindOS, some even simultaneously at times.

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Even after turning 18, i still use a fake birthday when signing up for websites and accounts

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A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan

A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?"The woman replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

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Snapchat is pretty much just for nudes and narcissists.

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Wearing headphones while I walk somewhere to pass the time is essentially fast traveling in real life

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No matter how long you have known someone you will never know what they are thinking

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Setting alarms for 6:00 & 6:05 AM seems like much more sleep than 5:55 and 6:00 AM.

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Some of the funniest jokes that I see in the internet are in the comments sections of porn sites.

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I always feel something is missing and then I realise it's because I want to text my cat and see what he's up to and ask him some life advice.

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My dog has two comfy beds of her own, but she still prefers to sleep by us, no matter how uncomfortable it is where we are compared to her beds.

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We are probably the last generation of humans who'll be able to tell the time by looking at the hands of a mechanical clock. Most of us can only tell the time by looking at our smartphones already.

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WhatsApp should have the "Like" button for messages you don't want to answer but acknowledge you've read.

Ps: Hit black heart button if you are done with WhatsApp.

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Handcuffing a deaf person takes away their freedom of speech

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I was never proud of myself for getting a participation trophy

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Calling something 'unreal' and 'real' are both compliments

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The people who are always telling you to talk more and saying "you're so quiet!" Are the ones who never listen when you do finally talk.

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In the future, "I forgot to plug my car in" will be an excuse for being late to work.

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Shakespeare invented approx 1700 words in English language which varies to 2900. The letter “u” as an abbreviation for the word “you” which we generally use today was first used by Shakespeare.

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Scientists found cannabis/marijuana on the pipes found in William Shakespeare's garden which he consumed probably in his cigar.

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