I use "haha" and "lol" in written communication so much these days that I'm sure I'll begin accidentally saying them verbally instead of just laughing.
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Everytime I'm watching a movie/video with captions turned on, I'm always reading the captions even though I can perfectly understand what they say
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If you think about it, we're all time travelers. We just move only forward and not in leaps.
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Why do people order diet soft drink with fast food? What difference is it gonna make?
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In 100+ years its gonna be really cool when you can look up your ancestors/relatives and see a detailed profile of what they posted online
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If all of mankind turned vegetarian, we would quickly fall to the bottom of the food chain.
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If the world population made one single row human pyramid, it would have about 122 606 layers.
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Porn sites ask me if I'm a robot so much that I'm convinced robots must be perverts too.
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The more intelligence and expertise you have, the higher the number of mental software screens you're running on mindOS, some even simultaneously at times.
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Even after turning 18, i still use a fake birthday when signing up for websites and accounts
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A Blonde Woman Asks For A $5000 Loan
A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?"The woman replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
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A blonde woman walks into a bank in NYC before going on vacation and asks for a $5,000 loan.The banker asks, "Okay, miss, is there anything you would like to use as collateral?"The woman says, "Yes, of course. I'll use my Rolls Royce."The banker, stunned, asks, "A $250,000 Rolls Royce? Really?"The woman is completely positive. She hands over the keys, as the bankers and loan officers laugh at her. They check her credentials, make sure she is the title owner. Everything checks out. They park it in their underground garage for two weeks.When she comes back, she pays off the $5,000 loan as well as the $15.41 interest.The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very appreciative of your business with us, but I have one question. We looked you up and found out that you are a multi-millionaire. Why would you want to borrow $5,000?"The woman replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
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Wearing headphones while I walk somewhere to pass the time is essentially fast traveling in real life
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No matter how long you have known someone you will never know what they are thinking
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Setting alarms for 6:00 & 6:05 AM seems like much more sleep than 5:55 and 6:00 AM.
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Some of the funniest jokes that I see in the internet are in the comments sections of porn sites.
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I always feel something is missing and then I realise it's because I want to text my cat and see what he's up to and ask him some life advice.
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