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𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝖿𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗈𝖿 𝖮𝗉𝗁𝖾𝗅𝗂𝖺 (𝖱𝖺𝗉𝗎𝗇𝗓𝖾𝗅'𝗌 𝗏𝖾𝗋)
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𝖾𝗅𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗍 𝖽𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗍𝖾𝗋 (𝖤𝗅𝗌𝖺'𝗌 𝗏𝖾𝗋)
" it's just so easy to be
pulled back into the past "
pulled back into the past "
I remember u said "sometimes it lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead" never mind, I'll find someone like u, I wish nothing but the best for u too. don't forget me I beg.
زهرا ، بتمنِ عزیزم ؛
خواستم خاص باشم و ۰۰:۰۰ تبریک نگم بزارم برای ساعت ۶💅🏻 ، همون ساعت شیشِ ۱۸ سال پیش که امروزو به خاطرش جشن میگیریم، همون روزی که تو متولد شدی و (اعتراف میکنم که) زندگی همه ی مارو قشنگ تر کردی. خیلیی بابت این روز خوشحالم، به اندازه ی همون روزی که برگشتی اسم بابامو پرسیدی و کشف کردیم قراره دوستیِ باباهامونو ادامه بدیم😭
میدونم که نشستن کنار تو توی مدرسه قراره برای همیشه هایلایت زندگیم باقی بمونه، دیس و دیس‌بک‌هامون هیچوقت قرار نیست فراموش بشن و همیشه قراره برای انتقام خط بزرگتری روی دفترت بکشم
ممنونم که اینقدر مهربون، منطقی و باجنبه هستی، ممنون که کتابای خوب میخونی، اهنگای خوب گوش میدی، فمینیست ایکان هستی و باعث شدی کابوس دبیرستان واسم قابل تحمل و زیبا بشه
امیدوارم تو هم همونقدر که من بهت افتخار میکنم به خودت افتخار کنی، به خاطر اینکه درسِت رو میخونی و آینده‌ات واست مهمه، اینکه سعی میکنی شخصیت کامل و عالی ای رو برای خودت رشد بدی، اینکه همیشه توی ساید درست هر ماجرایی هستی و غیره و غیره و غیره که از تو یه ۱۸ ساله ی شگفت انگیز رو ساخته
پس دیگه فکر نکنم باید بابت اینکه ۱۸ سالت شده ناراحت یا مضطرب باشی، چون تا اینجا قدم اشتباهی برنداشتی که بخواد این سال رو واست خراب کنه. هر چند درک میکنم که همزمان بابتش هیجان زده بود و هم استرس داشت چون قراره چپتر جدیدی از کتاب زندگیت باز بشه که شاید خیلی چیزاش با ۱۷ سالگی فرقی نکنه، ولی همچنان شامل چیزای دیگه هم میشه مثل کنکور که مسیر آینده‌مون رو مشخص میکنه و خب واقعا هم هیچکس جز خودمون نمیتونه حسش رو درک کنه، ولی میشه به این فکر کنیم که میتونیم گواهینامه بگیریم، Getaway car پلی کنیم و رانندگی کنیم؛ تازه تو الان میتونی مارو به سرپرستی بگیری! بعد کنکور فری تایممون بیشتر میشه، بیشتر میریم بیرون، هالووین های بیشتری رو کنار هم جشن میگیریم، شاید اون مسافرته رو رفتیم، بزرگ میشیم، واقعا کی میدونه چی میشه؟
فقط میتونیم مثبت بهش نگاه کنیم و برای خواسته هامون تلاش کنیم تا به اون روزای خیلی بهتر برسیم، به همه ی اون کتاب های نخونده، به سریال های ندیده، به پیرسینگ یا تتو های نزده، به اتفاق های بزرگتری که توی مهِ آینده مبهمن و هنوز کسی ازشون خبر نداره. فقط امیدوارم همشون خوب باشن، و سال دیگه و سال های بعدش دوست بمونیم، و بابت نتیجه ی ۱۸ سالگی خوشحال باشیم تا بتونیم به هرکس دیگه که از ۱۸ ساله شدن میترسید بگیم همه چی قراره خوب پیش بره و بعدا بتونیم به خودمون و همدیگه بابت اینکه توی این مسیر کنار هم بودیم و موفق شدیم، افتخار کنیم
پس تولدت و وارد شدنت به این ارای سرنوشت ساز رو تبریک میگم و از صمیم قلبم واست آرزوی موفقیت میکنم و بهت باور دارم 🤎'
سی‌ام مهر ماه هزار و چهارصد و چهار ،
سال بعد با هم 🫶🏻˙˖ .
𝒩𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝖺𝗄𝖾
HST . June 7, 2025
oh beauty, the beauty of a golden edge
oh danger, the danger of a silent rage
isn't it poetic to die with such a dAgger?
a living body found amidst the ruins of the castle
23 minutes of breathin'...
to be saved is just an imagine...
her pathetic life full of "if onlys" and "what ifs" would be better ended
so deliCated...
than to be suspended between life and death
never was the 15th member of the poets society,
but i suffered the worst pain in your dictionary
being a poet, moving corpse kind
using your blood instead of ink kind
her heart beats, but for what is lost
the regret, about the line she crossed
oh to die, death of a hope, a struggle
oh to surrender, to bow to fate
you'll finally discover these cOdes, but too late
now my feeling's called a hate
i suppose you never reached folkmore
just like your hand never reached mine
i'm too broken to survive
you're too cowardly to reach out
no, i'm alWays looking for being noticed somehow
yes, "endless curse, endless pain"
that's what sad poetic letters say
you say you get me, understand me
but we're all liars in the end
lying to ourselves or each other
sorry..
mr. "keeps promises", is it how to be a mAn?
wanna know what color I am?
blue, gray or black
what a question to ask
giving me that "never be mad at yourself"
i'm mad at you !
... and myself
you're still a mind reader then
people call it "moving on" when
a fairy walks past her severed wings
i should've let it go right when i had it,
half and almost
it's for the better, for healing the most
oh the illusion, the illusion of having
oh the wish, wish of a chance, a return
one word was written by you,
and i wrote the next million pages
these phrases
each chapter was supposed to be the last
maybe this is too much to ask
but i wanted you; to write the last
now it's me again, chaining the book with trembling hands
you're not what i thought you were
you lit me up and then burned
you squeezed my heaRt and said goodnight
oh my
you pretended your feelings were made of mirrors
don't..
you dragged its broken pieces into my soul
don't..
you had me bleeding but i held your wound
you're a lie, a poison, a deceit, a villain
more than me
you you you you you, you
oh you, a sworn betrayal
i won't fool me again by a lie
if I live or if I die
oh you, a masked maDman
oh you, a sweet torture
oh you, a painful joy
oh you, a clever riddle
oh you, the honorable sinner
oh you, the end of what you started
WHO ARE YOU...?
let's find a new word for this one, too
oh danger, the danger of a silent rage
isn't it poetic to die with such a dAgger?
a living body found amidst the ruins of the castle
23 minutes of breathin'...
to be saved is just an imagine...
her pathetic life full of "if onlys" and "what ifs" would be better ended
so deliCated...
than to be suspended between life and death
never was the 15th member of the poets society,
but i suffered the worst pain in your dictionary
being a poet, moving corpse kind
using your blood instead of ink kind
her heart beats, but for what is lost
the regret, about the line she crossed
oh to die, death of a hope, a struggle
oh to surrender, to bow to fate
you'll finally discover these cOdes, but too late
now my feeling's called a hate
i suppose you never reached folkmore
just like your hand never reached mine
i'm too broken to survive
you're too cowardly to reach out
no, i'm alWays looking for being noticed somehow
yes, "endless curse, endless pain"
that's what sad poetic letters say
you say you get me, understand me
but we're all liars in the end
lying to ourselves or each other
sorry..
mr. "keeps promises", is it how to be a mAn?
wanna know what color I am?
blue, gray or black
what a question to ask
giving me that "never be mad at yourself"
i'm mad at you !
... and myself
you're still a mind reader then
people call it "moving on" when
a fairy walks past her severed wings
i should've let it go right when i had it,
half and almost
it's for the better, for healing the most
oh the illusion, the illusion of having
oh the wish, wish of a chance, a return
one word was written by you,
and i wrote the next million pages
these phrases
each chapter was supposed to be the last
maybe this is too much to ask
but i wanted you; to write the last
now it's me again, chaining the book with trembling hands
you're not what i thought you were
you lit me up and then burned
you squeezed my heaRt and said goodnight
oh my
you pretended your feelings were made of mirrors
don't..
you dragged its broken pieces into my soul
don't..
you had me bleeding but i held your wound
you're a lie, a poison, a deceit, a villain
more than me
you you you you you, you
oh you, a sworn betrayal
i won't fool me again by a lie
if I live or if I die
oh you, a masked maDman
oh you, a sweet torture
oh you, a painful joy
oh you, a clever riddle
oh you, the honorable sinner
oh you, the end of what you started
WHO ARE YOU...?
let's find a new word for this one, too
- HST . July 14, 2025
Ruin The Friendship (My Advice Version)
Taylor Swift
. ࣪ ִֶ 2:41 𓂃
but I whispered at the grave
"should've kissed you anyway"
"should've kissed you anyway"