From a brother

1. ➡️You see I want to advise some of our sisters especially those of them who are 30 years plus, (between 30 to 35) who normally include *NO TO POLYGYNY* in their profile.

2. ➡️The question we need to ask ourselves is, how many single brothers at 30 plus will consider a lady of 30 plus as wife? A lot of brothers are looking for sisters between 22-29 years, and you cannot blame them. They have their valid reasons!

3. ➡️I think I'm in the best position to give this advice because I am 45 years, planning to pick a second wife, insha'Allah. But I myself does not want to consider any sister of more than 31, maximum!

4. ➡️As I'm talking to you, I have some responsible friends who are even planning to pick a second wife but it may amaze you that none of them is actually considering a lady of 30 years plus. They are all looking for younger sisters between 22-29...

5. ➡️So when some of our older sisters (between 31-36 years) are not facing the reality by saying NO TO POLYGYNY in their profile, I feel they are making their chances of getting married faster difficult the more, and this breaks my heart.

6. ➡️Some of them will even be saying they don't want married men o, that they want widowers. How many widowers are out there? Have they forgotten that more men die than women? Or which man will now kill his wife to become a widower?

7. ➡️Another issue they must not forget is that, nowadays, menopause sets in faster. I was surprised when a medical doctor told me that menopause could set in at 36, 37 up to 40s in some ladies. Should this not break one's heart? If our sisters know this, why are they now setting some of the unrealistic conditions?

8. ➡️ Please, I should not be misquoted, I'm not saying our sisters should not go for their choices. All I'm saying is that if they know that age is no longer on their side, it makes sense to reduce the requirements to the realistic ones. So that, they should not be the ones working against their prayers.

9. ➡️Lastly, my advice to them is to carefully open their chances wide through their requirements. If I put myself in the shoes of any of our sisters of 30 years and above, my conditions will be: (i) any Muslim brother of 30 and above who is CARING, LOVING and RESPONSIBLE (ii) whether MARRIED or SINGLE FATHER or WIDOWER does not matter, as long as the man is capable, he is welcome! (iii) include it too that you're ready to be supportive - (The truth is that no man wants liability)!

10. ➡️I decided to contact you today so that you can be advising them based on the reality out there. Let them not get angry against this my message. I feel for them all and I want the best for them but let them face the reality! That's what I'm saying.

May Allah answer the prayers of our sisters in these categories aameen

A man with no inner peace will destroy yours.

A man who is constantly at war within himself will bring that chaos into your life. His silence will feel heavy, his anger unpredictable,& his presence exhausting.

A man who avoids his own emotions will avoid yours. He won’t sit with ur pain, won’t understand ur joy,& won’t meet you where you need him most. You’ll find yourself feeling alone, even when he’s right beside you.

A man with no stability will disrupt yours. His inconsistency will shake your sense of safety, leaving U questioning where U stand & what comes next.

A man with no loyalty will question yours. He will project his own doubts& insecurities onto U, making U defend a faithfulness U never broke.

A man with no self-esteem will diminish yours. Instead of growing together, he will pull you down to the level of his own insecurities so he doesn’t have to rise.

A man with no discipline will discourage yours. Your growth, your focus, your ambition—he will see it as pressure instead of inspiration.

The biggest challenge in the first few months and years of marriage is adaptability.

You are now married. Even if you knew each other before, this is different. Now you are *living* together.

You are two people raised in different homes, with different habits, expectations and ways of communicating.
One of you likes things clean all the time, the other is more relaxed.
One wants to talk everything out immediately, the other needs space.
One is used to doing things a certain way, the other doesn’t see a problem doing it differently.

And sometimes, it’s not just the two of you, there’s outside noise, opinions, and family interference that can make things even harder.

Few years later, you are now used to each other.

But… a different challenge creeps on… boredom!
Life becomes routine. Work, responsibilities, maybe kids. You’re tired. Conversations become about bills, groceries, school runs. You sit next to each other, but you’re both on your phones. You stop doing the little things you used to do.

And you start missing how it used to feel. You feel something missing in your marriage. There’s no spark. You start wondering if you don’t love your spouse anymore, or if they don’t love you the same way.

And sometimes, instead of fixing things at home, you start opening up to someone else.
Just talking at first. Sharing things you’re not sharing with your partner.
And slowly, emotional cheating can start. Sometimes it even goes further.

And then one day, the truth is out and everything crumbles.

We need to understand that there are different phases in a marriage. Marriage isn’t always excitement and butterflies. Sometimes it’s routine. Sometimes it’s downright boring.
And that’s normal. That’s part of the journey.
Each phase comes with its own challenges, and knowing that it’s normal helps us respond better instead of panicking or giving up.

Love doesn’t really have a fixed definition. Maybe it’s not just the butterflies or the excitement. Maybe love is choosing each other through every phase, even the difficult and ordinary ones.

And if you ask couples who’ve been together for decades, they won’t say it was easy. They’ll say they kept choosing each other, again and again, with a lot of forgiveness along the way.

May Allah bless our marriages with patience, understanding, love, and the strength to choose each other through every phase.

(And just to say, this isn’t about situations of clear abuse. No one should stay where they’re being hurt)

🕋 Authentic English Material on Hajj & Dhul Hijjah

Gathered by Keys To Knowledge T.me/K2KNYC

1. 183 Hadith on Hajj from Bukhari & Muslim.
✍️ Collected by Sh. Abdul-Mushin al-Qasim حفظه الله, Imam & Teacher in Masjid Nabawi.

📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5374

2. Insight About the Rites of Hajj & Umrah, The Virtues of Madina.
✍️ By Sh. Abdul-Muhsin al-Abbad حفظه الله

📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5375

3. The Rites of Hajj & Umrah
✍️ Sh. Abdul Lateef Ali Shaykh حفظه الله.

📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5376
🌎 Other Languages: https://t.me/k2knyc/4459

4. Hajj & Humility Towards Allah
✍️ Sh. Abdur-Razzaq al-Badr حفظه الله

📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5377
🎧 Audio: https://www.youtube.com/live/UnL7KV7WnLE?si=4jrx89zAUwdsJB5T

5. Explanation of Hajj of the Prophet ﷺ, the Hadith of Jabir رضي الله عنه
✍️ Sh. Muhammad Ali Adam Al-Ityūbi رحمه الله.

📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5378

🎙 Explanation by Abu Awzaa’ee Abdus-Salaam وفقه الله:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLa4VTguFg6tXhPBkM6SO3TYis3tGBQ84o&si=0Hanvon9-2inL5LT

6. Hajj Map in different languages
📕 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5389

7. Explanation of Hadith on Dhul Hijjah
🎙 Sh. Abu Muhammad Abdur-Ra'uf Shakir حفظه الله
🎧 Audio: http://islamlecture.com/lesson.php?book_id=610

https://t.me/k2knyc/5381?single

8. Virtues of the First 10 Days of Dhul Hijjah
🎙 Sh. Abu Abdillah Imraan Hussein رحمه الله

🎧 Audio: https://youtu.be/ASbce0tCVVc?si=7TYIl_KfEX4KKKQw

9. Tafsir Surah al-Hajj
🎙 Abu Awzaa’ee Abdus-Salaam وفقه الله

🎧 Playlist
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLa4VTguFg6tWOFCqbtQwg07Dwi1j1K6q1&si=c7Y3hp16pfNTkiXr

May Allah ease marriages for those seeking a spouse
May Allah strengthen marriages of those already married
Ameen

From a brother

Sir, kindly advise sisters to allow their unmarried friends to marry their husbands, what is good for you, it is good for your friend, wish your friend good by allowing your husband to marry them
I come in peace

AN IMMATURE WOMAN WOULD:
• Argue to prove she's right.
• Shift blames instead of reflecting.
• Compete with her husband.
• Use emotion to manipulate.
• Care less about his growth.
• Say more than necessary.
• Test your patience and faith.
• Get offended easily.
• Think love should be perfect.

BUT A MATURE WOMAN WOULD:
• Communicate to find peace.
• Take on responsibility gracefully.
• Support her husband's growth.
• Express her feelings with clarity.
• Know where to draw the line.
• Understand before reacting.
• Listen more and say less.
• Respect him as her king.
• Submit to her man as her king on earth.

Where do you fall?

The pain of separation (from someone you love) is greater than death sometimes.

- Ibn Taymiyyah's Fatawa
(v. 35, p. 299)

Choosing a Husband | Shaykh ibn ʿUthaymīn

What every Muslimah should look for in a prospective husband.

Question:
What are the most important matters which should form the basis for a woman to choose a husband, and does refusing a righteous person for worldly reasons bring Allāh's punishment upon her?

Answer:
The most important attributes which a woman should seek in one proposing marriage are good character and Dīn (Practice of the Religion). As regards wealth and lineage, then these are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the one proposing the marriage should be good in the Dīn and in his character - since regarding one possessing Dīn and good character, she will not lose out in any respect: if he keeps her, then he will do so in a good manner and if he releases her, he will do so in a good manner. Furthermore, the one possessing Dīn and good character will be a blessing for her and her children and she will learn good manners and the Dīn from him.

But if the person is one who does not have these attributes then she should avoid him - especially those who are negligent about the prayers, or one who is known to drink intoxicants - and Allāh's refuge is sought... So what is important is that the woman should concentrate on good character and practice of the Dīn. As regards lineage, then if it is attainable additionally, then that is more fitting, since Allāh's Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said: If there comes to you one whose Dīn and character is pleasing then give [the woman] in marriage to him

However, if one who is also similar in standing is found then that is better.

[Shaykh ibn ʿUthaymīn in Fatāwa‌l-Mar'ah Vol. 1. p.50, in troid.org under the title 'Choosing a Husband'.

Your wife's Jealously
"Beware of moving your wife's jealousy by admiring another woman in front of her, or by comparing her to your female relatives. This serves as a stab in the heart to her and it is not part of Islām to do so."

Why Did Allah Give 4 Months & 10 Days of ‘Iddah? 🤍

In a world that rushes everything…
Islam teaches us to pause with wisdom, dignity, and mercy.

Allah ﷻ says:

“And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait by themselves for four months and ten days. Then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame upon you for what they do with themselves in a lawful manner. And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:234)

This is not a restriction… it is protection. It is not hardship… it is divine wisdom.

💭 The wisdom behind ‘iddah:

1️⃣. Preservation of lineage
This period ensures clarity of pregnancy, protecting the child’s identity, inheritance, and family rights.
2️⃣. Honor for the marriage
A bond that was sacred is not ended overnight.
This time reflects loyalty, respect, and dignity for the husband.
3️⃣. Emotional healing
Losing a husband is not small.
Allah gives her time to grieve, reflect, and reconnect with Him - without pressure from the world.

🌿 Islam doesn’t ignore emotions… it protects them.
▪
📚 The Prophet ﷺ said:
“A woman whose husband has died should not wear clothes of adornment, nor use kohl, nor perfume, and should not get married until four months and ten days have passed.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 5334, Sahih Muslim 1486)

💭 During ‘iddah:

▪ She remains in her home
▪ She may go out only for necessity
▪ She avoids beautification and adornment
▪ She is given space, respect, and protection

And when the period ends… she is free.

Free to move forward. Free to remarry. Free to rebuild her life.

💎 Final Reflection:

Every ruling in Islam… even the ones we don’t fully understand… carries wisdom, mercy, and justice.

Allah does not burden…
He protects.

Yes, it is sinful for a husband to ignore his wife’s emotional or physical state and force intimacy. Islam commands husbands to live with their wives in kindness and mercy (Qur’an 4:19), and the Prophet ﷺ said: “There should be no harm and no causing of harm.” Forcing a wife when she is not ready is zulm (oppression), and the husband will be accountable before Allah.

At the same time, Islam also encourages the wife to be considerate of her husband’s lawful desires and to make sincere effort to fulfill his rights when she is able. She should not withhold intimacy without reason, nor use it as a means of control. Marriage in Islam is based on mutual care, where the husband protects his wife’s emotional safety, and the wife respects her husband’s needs, both striving, with patience and compassion, to please Allah through pleasing one another.

O Allah, guide us to fulfill each other’s rights with mercy, protect us from injustice and neglect, and place love, understanding, and taqwa in our marriages. Ameen 🤲

Nothing scares me most on social media than seeing a Muslim married woman posting videos of She and her husband Hugging, kissing, sometimes seeing her moaning.

What pains me most is; her fellow friends won’t tell her it’s wrong,

but will be commenting GOALS GOALS GOALS !!!

Asking divorce for no reason

The Prophet (ﷺ) said: If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her. {Abu Dawood 2226]

Shawkani: There is evidence in this hadith that it is strictly prohibited for a woman to demand divorce from her husband (without any reason) because one who does not smell the fragrance of Paradise will never be able to enter Paradise.

Sheikh Saleem Hilali: It is strictly prohibited for a woman to demand divorce without any reason.

Shaykh-ul-Islām Ibn Taymiyyah Raḥimahullāh:

“It is OBLIGATORY upon the wife to serve her husband.. (like taking care of the house furnishings, serving food, drink, bread and kneading dough)... because the husband is her MASTER as per the BOOK OF ALLĀH and she's a CAPTIVE with him as per the SUNNAH OF MESSENGER OF ALLĀH Ṣallallāhu-'Alaihi Wa Sallam, and what is known is that upon a captive and slave is to serve the master, and this is the truth In Shā Allāh.”

● [مجموع الفتاوى ٣٤/٩٠]

In India, marriage is treated as a status ladder. Every family wants to climb higher better job, bigger house, more "respect" But when two families stand on different status they bridge that gap with Dowry.
lower status family pays to rise. The higher status family demands.


Calling dowry tradition doesn’t make it less filthy. Islam gave women rights and dignity, dowry culture turns marriage into a marketplace where families bid for approval. And let’s be clear a man who demands dowry isn’t high status he’s just a beggar in a sherwani. Demanding it or giving it both are equally wrong.

Question and answer on references for marriage and background checks.

Question:

As Salamu ‘alykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh, Sheikh Abu Khadeejah.

I have a question concerning marriage and STDs. And I would like for you to advise us and give us the best opinion. May Allah bless you.

There is a young woman who has been born and raised as a chaste Muslim. Her father being her wali, found a suitable man for her to marry who had not been raised Muslim rather he converted two years ago and he is quite older...

The father requested for the brother to check for any STDs for safety and health reasons for his daughter…

Ustaadh Abu Khadeejah:
Wa-alaikumus-salām-wa-rahmatullāhi-wa-barakātuhu

In these kinds of situation, it is very important for the guardian to carry out reference and background checks into the man proposing. I always advise that references are only taking from trustworthy, God-fearing and known Muslims who are well-acquainted with the person in question. Ideally, positive references should be written and supported by examples that are indicative of praise.

As for background checks such as criminal record checks, medical history, financial suitability and so on, then that is dependent on the multiple societal and local factors. In many communities and families, these things are not required because people are generally trustworthy and honest, and everyone knows everyone else and the references are very trustworthy.

Unfortunately, in some communities, trustworthiness, truthfulness and piety are not so common or hardly present, people are known to lie and show hypocrisy — and this is not apparent from a person in the initial stages. So parents need to be very vigilant over their daughters (and sons) in order to safeguard them from exploitation. So in these situations, some simple background checks are needed, and people should not feel offended. And if a person is not prepared to offer such information, then there is no compulsion, and both parties can walk away without hard feelings.

In general, marry your daughters (and sons) to known Salafis who attend classes/conferences at the Salafi Mosques, who can provide both character and Religious references from well-known and upright elders in the community.

As a rule, do not marry your daughters to men who have courted them on social media (WhatsApp, etc.) and they have been “socialising” with each other for months and have decided they “love each other” without the knowledge of their families, and in some cases, they live thousands of miles from each other, have been exchanging photos of one another, talking in impermissible ways and made marriage plans such as where they will live and work! These relationships are not built upon honesty, family involvement, good manners, good character, following the Sunnah, respect or piety — so beware.

Sex styles was created by people,so u don't have to watch porn to learn a style for you and your wife or husband, create your own style,think and imagine(create).

Sex with your spouse is halal,why do u watch or want to watch porn to learn a style?
How can petrol and matches not catch fire?

Style A may be enjoyed by person A,it does not mean your spouse will be enjoy with it,so create yours with your partner.

Just do whatever u people want.

STRIVE TO ACCEPT A GOOD MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

Shaykh Ibn Bāz رحمه الله said:

“It is obligatory upon the woman that she strives to accept a marriage proposal from a man who is good in his Deen (religion), and fine & pleasant in his character.”

● {فتاوى نور على الدرب}

Hearts are not toys, and emotions are not a game to be played for temporary entertainment.🥺

When you consciously choose to break someone’s trust, lie to them, or give them false hope, you aren't just breaking them—you are signing a contract with the universe that you will one day have to pay back. Karma doesn’t forget, it doesn’t miss a beat, and it definitely doesn't sleep.

It sees the tears, it hears the broken promises, and it’s recording every single selfish move. You might feel powerful now, but remember that what goes around truly comes around.

People may forget your words, but they will never forget how you made them feel.

📌Take it as a loan; it will come back to you with interest ⏳✨.
#KarmaIsReal #ProtectYourPeace #HeartbreakQuotes #WhatGoesAroundComesAround #EmotionalTruths #SpiritualLessons #IntegrityMatters #RespectPeople #KarmaWatching

We often hear the quote, “A man has done nothing for you until he has made you his wife.”

But what comes after that? After making her your wife?

O brothers, your wife is an amānah.
She left her home, the life she knew, and the comfort of being under her parents,