'Ā` ishah (Allāh be pleased with her):
“O women, if you were to know the right of your husbands over you, one of you would wipe the dust off her husband's feet by the cheek of her face.”
● [الكبائر للذهبي ١/١٧٢]
“O women, if you were to know the right of your husbands over you, one of you would wipe the dust off her husband's feet by the cheek of her face.”
● [الكبائر للذهبي ١/١٧٢]
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MARRYING THE WRONG PERSON IS THE MOST COSTLY MISTAKE A HUMAN CAN MAKE:
1. Sign legally into a life that drains you before 8am every morning.
2. Raise children inside a tension they will spend their adult lives trying to understand.
3. Lose your identity slowly trying to make an incompatible dynamic work.
4. Stay for the kids and teach the kids that this is what love looks like.
5. Watch financial, emotional and physical health all deteriorate inside one bad decision.
6. Spend your highest earning years splitting assets you built under stress.
7. Outsource your happiness to someone who was never equipped to hold it.
8. Let the wrong partnership make you cynical about love entirely.
9. Perform a marriage publicly that is barely surviving privately.
10. Waste the years when you were most vibrant, attractive and full of potential.
11. Confuse the sunk cost of years together for a reason to stay forever.
12. Grow into completely different people and call it a surprise when it was always a slow drift.
13. Realize that the loneliest place on earth is not being alone but being with the wrong person every single day.
1. Sign legally into a life that drains you before 8am every morning.
2. Raise children inside a tension they will spend their adult lives trying to understand.
3. Lose your identity slowly trying to make an incompatible dynamic work.
4. Stay for the kids and teach the kids that this is what love looks like.
5. Watch financial, emotional and physical health all deteriorate inside one bad decision.
6. Spend your highest earning years splitting assets you built under stress.
7. Outsource your happiness to someone who was never equipped to hold it.
8. Let the wrong partnership make you cynical about love entirely.
9. Perform a marriage publicly that is barely surviving privately.
10. Waste the years when you were most vibrant, attractive and full of potential.
11. Confuse the sunk cost of years together for a reason to stay forever.
12. Grow into completely different people and call it a surprise when it was always a slow drift.
13. Realize that the loneliest place on earth is not being alone but being with the wrong person every single day.
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Most brothers speak with emotions when they meet sisters that have taste. This is an error, asking for good things in life is not a crime, brothers have tastes too. No matter your level of religiosity, there are brothers and sisters you cannot afford, so getting married to them will bring up financial tussle.
We all have levels, 'shoe get size, okrika get quality', brothers, there are some sisters you cannot marry because of the financial engagement, no matter how you see it. In life, there is social stratification. You have SSCE, and she's a Masters holder, and you want to marry her, it is not always easy to see that type of marriage. It is one out of ten.
A man once said that none of his daughters has ever used a commercial bus, bike or keke since birth, if you want to marry a lady like that and you do not have a car, she will find it difficult to cope, she is not used to it, there is difference between trekking and exercise in a manner of speaking. A sister who stays in a duplex apartment in her parents' house all through, you want to put her in one room in a local environment, it is not easy for her, my brother.
The best thing to do is to marry a sister you can afford, there are women you will give Android phone, they will go to NTA to announce it because it means a lot to them, they will jubilate, but some are already using iPhone, they will not appreciate your Android phone, not because they are bad, but they are more than what you can offer.
Each time you see sisters or brothers seeking partners and they roll out their cut off mark, it is what they want, do not get emotional about it, it is a choice. If you cannot afford them, pray for them to get what they want provided it is not against the religion. You should not be angry when people make their choices. Some brothers are of the opinion, once a sister is using hijab or niqab, she does not have the right to choose a decent living. This is wrong.
While you can marry anybody, she wants to marry somebody. What about a brother that is religious, ma sha Allah brother, who is financially bouyant and responsible, he is the dream man of most sisters. The brother wants a sister who has memorized the whole Qur'an, religious, beautiful, educated, with front and back, we all like good things.
A ma sha Allah brother once told me, 'Abu Sheikh, I want to marry older woman, they are the best, I heard, you are a match maker, please can you help get a Muslimah, she should be like 40 years old divorcee or widow, who is stinkingly rich, her name must be Khadijah, because I am 25 years old, and my name is Muhammad.' He continued, 'if you can get it for me, I will reward you handsomely.' I just smile, people and their cut off marks! Abu Sheikh
Always pay attention to details.
Abu Sheikh
We all have levels, 'shoe get size, okrika get quality', brothers, there are some sisters you cannot marry because of the financial engagement, no matter how you see it. In life, there is social stratification. You have SSCE, and she's a Masters holder, and you want to marry her, it is not always easy to see that type of marriage. It is one out of ten.
A man once said that none of his daughters has ever used a commercial bus, bike or keke since birth, if you want to marry a lady like that and you do not have a car, she will find it difficult to cope, she is not used to it, there is difference between trekking and exercise in a manner of speaking. A sister who stays in a duplex apartment in her parents' house all through, you want to put her in one room in a local environment, it is not easy for her, my brother.
The best thing to do is to marry a sister you can afford, there are women you will give Android phone, they will go to NTA to announce it because it means a lot to them, they will jubilate, but some are already using iPhone, they will not appreciate your Android phone, not because they are bad, but they are more than what you can offer.
Each time you see sisters or brothers seeking partners and they roll out their cut off mark, it is what they want, do not get emotional about it, it is a choice. If you cannot afford them, pray for them to get what they want provided it is not against the religion. You should not be angry when people make their choices. Some brothers are of the opinion, once a sister is using hijab or niqab, she does not have the right to choose a decent living. This is wrong.
While you can marry anybody, she wants to marry somebody. What about a brother that is religious, ma sha Allah brother, who is financially bouyant and responsible, he is the dream man of most sisters. The brother wants a sister who has memorized the whole Qur'an, religious, beautiful, educated, with front and back, we all like good things.
A ma sha Allah brother once told me, 'Abu Sheikh, I want to marry older woman, they are the best, I heard, you are a match maker, please can you help get a Muslimah, she should be like 40 years old divorcee or widow, who is stinkingly rich, her name must be Khadijah, because I am 25 years old, and my name is Muhammad.' He continued, 'if you can get it for me, I will reward you handsomely.' I just smile, people and their cut off marks! Abu Sheikh
Always pay attention to details.
Abu Sheikh
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THE WIFE WHO IS UNGRATEFUL TO HER HUSBAND
Ibn Mas'ūd (رضي الله عنه) said:
"The Prophet (ﷺ) spoke to us, and he said, 'Give charity, O women; for indeed, you are the largest amount of people in the fire on the Day of Judgment.' A woman stood up who was not from the upper class of women, and she said, 'O Messenger of Allāh, why are we the largest amount of the people of the fire?' He said, 'Because you curse [people] much and are ungrateful toward your husbands.'"
[Collected by Al-Bukhāri (#304), Muslim (#79)]
The meaning of this is that she denies the good in her husband due to a stance that he takes that she does not like. She says, "I have never seen any good from you." "You never did anything for me." "You do not take care of my needs." This type of speech and behavior is a form of denying blessings, which weighs on his soul, especially if she behaves this way in abundance, denying the good in him.
Book: Divorce Its Reasons and Its Cures
By Shaykh Abū Furayhān Jamāl Ibn Furayhān al-Hārithī
Translated by Jamil Finch
Hikmah Publications
P. 34
Ibn Mas'ūd (رضي الله عنه) said:
"The Prophet (ﷺ) spoke to us, and he said, 'Give charity, O women; for indeed, you are the largest amount of people in the fire on the Day of Judgment.' A woman stood up who was not from the upper class of women, and she said, 'O Messenger of Allāh, why are we the largest amount of the people of the fire?' He said, 'Because you curse [people] much and are ungrateful toward your husbands.'"
[Collected by Al-Bukhāri (#304), Muslim (#79)]
The meaning of this is that she denies the good in her husband due to a stance that he takes that she does not like. She says, "I have never seen any good from you." "You never did anything for me." "You do not take care of my needs." This type of speech and behavior is a form of denying blessings, which weighs on his soul, especially if she behaves this way in abundance, denying the good in him.
Book: Divorce Its Reasons and Its Cures
By Shaykh Abū Furayhān Jamāl Ibn Furayhān al-Hārithī
Translated by Jamil Finch
Hikmah Publications
P. 34
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YOUR PARENTS...
The great Imaam, Muhammad bin al-Munkadir (d.130AH) رحمه الله said:
"My brother 'Umar spent the night in prayer (i.e. the tahajjud Salah) and I spent the night massaging my mother's feet, and I would NOT exchange my night with his night."
[Siyar 'Alaam an-Nubala 5/359]
An advice especially to our young, who are still living at home and not married. Make the most of your time with your parents, in being good to them and being at their service. When you start working, get married and have children إن شاء الله, you won't have the same opportunity and free time as you used to.
@MarkazMuaadh
The great Imaam, Muhammad bin al-Munkadir (d.130AH) رحمه الله said:
"My brother 'Umar spent the night in prayer (i.e. the tahajjud Salah) and I spent the night massaging my mother's feet, and I would NOT exchange my night with his night."
[Siyar 'Alaam an-Nubala 5/359]
An advice especially to our young, who are still living at home and not married. Make the most of your time with your parents, in being good to them and being at their service. When you start working, get married and have children إن شاء الله, you won't have the same opportunity and free time as you used to.
@MarkazMuaadh
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From a brother
1. ➡️You see I want to advise some of our sisters especially those of them who are 30 years plus, (between 30 to 35) who normally include *NO TO POLYGYNY* in their profile.
2. ➡️The question we need to ask ourselves is, how many single brothers at 30 plus will consider a lady of 30 plus as wife? A lot of brothers are looking for sisters between 22-29 years, and you cannot blame them. They have their valid reasons!
3. ➡️I think I'm in the best position to give this advice because I am 45 years, planning to pick a second wife, insha'Allah. But I myself does not want to consider any sister of more than 31, maximum!
4. ➡️As I'm talking to you, I have some responsible friends who are even planning to pick a second wife but it may amaze you that none of them is actually considering a lady of 30 years plus. They are all looking for younger sisters between 22-29...
5. ➡️So when some of our older sisters (between 31-36 years) are not facing the reality by saying NO TO POLYGYNY in their profile, I feel they are making their chances of getting married faster difficult the more, and this breaks my heart.
6. ➡️Some of them will even be saying they don't want married men o, that they want widowers. How many widowers are out there? Have they forgotten that more men die than women? Or which man will now kill his wife to become a widower?
7. ➡️Another issue they must not forget is that, nowadays, menopause sets in faster. I was surprised when a medical doctor told me that menopause could set in at 36, 37 up to 40s in some ladies. Should this not break one's heart? If our sisters know this, why are they now setting some of the unrealistic conditions?
8. ➡️ Please, I should not be misquoted, I'm not saying our sisters should not go for their choices. All I'm saying is that if they know that age is no longer on their side, it makes sense to reduce the requirements to the realistic ones. So that, they should not be the ones working against their prayers.
9. ➡️Lastly, my advice to them is to carefully open their chances wide through their requirements. If I put myself in the shoes of any of our sisters of 30 years and above, my conditions will be: (i) any Muslim brother of 30 and above who is CARING, LOVING and RESPONSIBLE (ii) whether MARRIED or SINGLE FATHER or WIDOWER does not matter, as long as the man is capable, he is welcome! (iii) include it too that you're ready to be supportive - (The truth is that no man wants liability)!
10. ➡️I decided to contact you today so that you can be advising them based on the reality out there. Let them not get angry against this my message. I feel for them all and I want the best for them but let them face the reality! That's what I'm saying.
May Allah answer the prayers of our sisters in these categories aameen
1. ➡️You see I want to advise some of our sisters especially those of them who are 30 years plus, (between 30 to 35) who normally include *NO TO POLYGYNY* in their profile.
2. ➡️The question we need to ask ourselves is, how many single brothers at 30 plus will consider a lady of 30 plus as wife? A lot of brothers are looking for sisters between 22-29 years, and you cannot blame them. They have their valid reasons!
3. ➡️I think I'm in the best position to give this advice because I am 45 years, planning to pick a second wife, insha'Allah. But I myself does not want to consider any sister of more than 31, maximum!
4. ➡️As I'm talking to you, I have some responsible friends who are even planning to pick a second wife but it may amaze you that none of them is actually considering a lady of 30 years plus. They are all looking for younger sisters between 22-29...
5. ➡️So when some of our older sisters (between 31-36 years) are not facing the reality by saying NO TO POLYGYNY in their profile, I feel they are making their chances of getting married faster difficult the more, and this breaks my heart.
6. ➡️Some of them will even be saying they don't want married men o, that they want widowers. How many widowers are out there? Have they forgotten that more men die than women? Or which man will now kill his wife to become a widower?
7. ➡️Another issue they must not forget is that, nowadays, menopause sets in faster. I was surprised when a medical doctor told me that menopause could set in at 36, 37 up to 40s in some ladies. Should this not break one's heart? If our sisters know this, why are they now setting some of the unrealistic conditions?
8. ➡️ Please, I should not be misquoted, I'm not saying our sisters should not go for their choices. All I'm saying is that if they know that age is no longer on their side, it makes sense to reduce the requirements to the realistic ones. So that, they should not be the ones working against their prayers.
9. ➡️Lastly, my advice to them is to carefully open their chances wide through their requirements. If I put myself in the shoes of any of our sisters of 30 years and above, my conditions will be: (i) any Muslim brother of 30 and above who is CARING, LOVING and RESPONSIBLE (ii) whether MARRIED or SINGLE FATHER or WIDOWER does not matter, as long as the man is capable, he is welcome! (iii) include it too that you're ready to be supportive - (The truth is that no man wants liability)!
10. ➡️I decided to contact you today so that you can be advising them based on the reality out there. Let them not get angry against this my message. I feel for them all and I want the best for them but let them face the reality! That's what I'm saying.
May Allah answer the prayers of our sisters in these categories aameen
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A man with no inner peace will destroy yours.
A man who is constantly at war within himself will bring that chaos into your life. His silence will feel heavy, his anger unpredictable,& his presence exhausting.
A man who avoids his own emotions will avoid yours. He won’t sit with ur pain, won’t understand ur joy,& won’t meet you where you need him most. You’ll find yourself feeling alone, even when he’s right beside you.
A man with no stability will disrupt yours. His inconsistency will shake your sense of safety, leaving U questioning where U stand & what comes next.
A man with no loyalty will question yours. He will project his own doubts& insecurities onto U, making U defend a faithfulness U never broke.
A man with no self-esteem will diminish yours. Instead of growing together, he will pull you down to the level of his own insecurities so he doesn’t have to rise.
A man with no discipline will discourage yours. Your growth, your focus, your ambition—he will see it as pressure instead of inspiration.
A man who is constantly at war within himself will bring that chaos into your life. His silence will feel heavy, his anger unpredictable,& his presence exhausting.
A man who avoids his own emotions will avoid yours. He won’t sit with ur pain, won’t understand ur joy,& won’t meet you where you need him most. You’ll find yourself feeling alone, even when he’s right beside you.
A man with no stability will disrupt yours. His inconsistency will shake your sense of safety, leaving U questioning where U stand & what comes next.
A man with no loyalty will question yours. He will project his own doubts& insecurities onto U, making U defend a faithfulness U never broke.
A man with no self-esteem will diminish yours. Instead of growing together, he will pull you down to the level of his own insecurities so he doesn’t have to rise.
A man with no discipline will discourage yours. Your growth, your focus, your ambition—he will see it as pressure instead of inspiration.
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The biggest challenge in the first few months and years of marriage is adaptability.
You are now married. Even if you knew each other before, this is different. Now you are *living* together.
You are two people raised in different homes, with different habits, expectations and ways of communicating.
One of you likes things clean all the time, the other is more relaxed.
One wants to talk everything out immediately, the other needs space.
One is used to doing things a certain way, the other doesn’t see a problem doing it differently.
And sometimes, it’s not just the two of you, there’s outside noise, opinions, and family interference that can make things even harder.
Few years later, you are now used to each other.
But… a different challenge creeps on… boredom!
Life becomes routine. Work, responsibilities, maybe kids. You’re tired. Conversations become about bills, groceries, school runs. You sit next to each other, but you’re both on your phones. You stop doing the little things you used to do.
And you start missing how it used to feel. You feel something missing in your marriage. There’s no spark. You start wondering if you don’t love your spouse anymore, or if they don’t love you the same way.
And sometimes, instead of fixing things at home, you start opening up to someone else.
Just talking at first. Sharing things you’re not sharing with your partner.
And slowly, emotional cheating can start. Sometimes it even goes further.
And then one day, the truth is out and everything crumbles.
We need to understand that there are different phases in a marriage. Marriage isn’t always excitement and butterflies. Sometimes it’s routine. Sometimes it’s downright boring.
And that’s normal. That’s part of the journey.
Each phase comes with its own challenges, and knowing that it’s normal helps us respond better instead of panicking or giving up.
Love doesn’t really have a fixed definition. Maybe it’s not just the butterflies or the excitement. Maybe love is choosing each other through every phase, even the difficult and ordinary ones.
And if you ask couples who’ve been together for decades, they won’t say it was easy. They’ll say they kept choosing each other, again and again, with a lot of forgiveness along the way.
May Allah bless our marriages with patience, understanding, love, and the strength to choose each other through every phase.
(And just to say, this isn’t about situations of clear abuse. No one should stay where they’re being hurt)
You are now married. Even if you knew each other before, this is different. Now you are *living* together.
You are two people raised in different homes, with different habits, expectations and ways of communicating.
One of you likes things clean all the time, the other is more relaxed.
One wants to talk everything out immediately, the other needs space.
One is used to doing things a certain way, the other doesn’t see a problem doing it differently.
And sometimes, it’s not just the two of you, there’s outside noise, opinions, and family interference that can make things even harder.
Few years later, you are now used to each other.
But… a different challenge creeps on… boredom!
Life becomes routine. Work, responsibilities, maybe kids. You’re tired. Conversations become about bills, groceries, school runs. You sit next to each other, but you’re both on your phones. You stop doing the little things you used to do.
And you start missing how it used to feel. You feel something missing in your marriage. There’s no spark. You start wondering if you don’t love your spouse anymore, or if they don’t love you the same way.
And sometimes, instead of fixing things at home, you start opening up to someone else.
Just talking at first. Sharing things you’re not sharing with your partner.
And slowly, emotional cheating can start. Sometimes it even goes further.
And then one day, the truth is out and everything crumbles.
We need to understand that there are different phases in a marriage. Marriage isn’t always excitement and butterflies. Sometimes it’s routine. Sometimes it’s downright boring.
And that’s normal. That’s part of the journey.
Each phase comes with its own challenges, and knowing that it’s normal helps us respond better instead of panicking or giving up.
Love doesn’t really have a fixed definition. Maybe it’s not just the butterflies or the excitement. Maybe love is choosing each other through every phase, even the difficult and ordinary ones.
And if you ask couples who’ve been together for decades, they won’t say it was easy. They’ll say they kept choosing each other, again and again, with a lot of forgiveness along the way.
May Allah bless our marriages with patience, understanding, love, and the strength to choose each other through every phase.
(And just to say, this isn’t about situations of clear abuse. No one should stay where they’re being hurt)
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Forwarded from Keys To Knowledge
🕋 Authentic English Material on Hajj & Dhul Hijjah
Gathered by Keys To Knowledge T.me/K2KNYC
1. 183 Hadith on Hajj from Bukhari & Muslim.
✍️ Collected by Sh. Abdul-Mushin al-Qasim حفظه الله, Imam & Teacher in Masjid Nabawi.
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5374
2. Insight About the Rites of Hajj & Umrah, The Virtues of Madina.
✍️ By Sh. Abdul-Muhsin al-Abbad حفظه الله
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5375
3. The Rites of Hajj & Umrah
✍️ Sh. Abdul Lateef Ali Shaykh حفظه الله.
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5376
🌎 Other Languages: https://t.me/k2knyc/4459
4. Hajj & Humility Towards Allah
✍️ Sh. Abdur-Razzaq al-Badr حفظه الله
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5377
🎧 Audio: https://www.youtube.com/live/UnL7KV7WnLE?si=4jrx89zAUwdsJB5T
5. Explanation of Hajj of the Prophet ﷺ, the Hadith of Jabir رضي الله عنه
✍️ Sh. Muhammad Ali Adam Al-Ityūbi رحمه الله.
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5378
🎙 Explanation by Abu Awzaa’ee Abdus-Salaam وفقه الله:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLa4VTguFg6tXhPBkM6SO3TYis3tGBQ84o&si=0Hanvon9-2inL5LT
6. Hajj Map in different languages
📕 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5389
7. Explanation of Hadith on Dhul Hijjah
🎙 Sh. Abu Muhammad Abdur-Ra'uf Shakir حفظه الله
🎧 Audio: http://islamlecture.com/lesson.php?book_id=610
https://t.me/k2knyc/5381?single
8. Virtues of the First 10 Days of Dhul Hijjah
🎙 Sh. Abu Abdillah Imraan Hussein رحمه الله
🎧 Audio: https://youtu.be/ASbce0tCVVc?si=7TYIl_KfEX4KKKQw
9. Tafsir Surah al-Hajj
🎙 Abu Awzaa’ee Abdus-Salaam وفقه الله
🎧 Playlist
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLa4VTguFg6tWOFCqbtQwg07Dwi1j1K6q1&si=c7Y3hp16pfNTkiXr
Gathered by Keys To Knowledge T.me/K2KNYC
1. 183 Hadith on Hajj from Bukhari & Muslim.
✍️ Collected by Sh. Abdul-Mushin al-Qasim حفظه الله, Imam & Teacher in Masjid Nabawi.
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5374
2. Insight About the Rites of Hajj & Umrah, The Virtues of Madina.
✍️ By Sh. Abdul-Muhsin al-Abbad حفظه الله
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5375
3. The Rites of Hajj & Umrah
✍️ Sh. Abdul Lateef Ali Shaykh حفظه الله.
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5376
🌎 Other Languages: https://t.me/k2knyc/4459
4. Hajj & Humility Towards Allah
✍️ Sh. Abdur-Razzaq al-Badr حفظه الله
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5377
🎧 Audio: https://www.youtube.com/live/UnL7KV7WnLE?si=4jrx89zAUwdsJB5T
5. Explanation of Hajj of the Prophet ﷺ, the Hadith of Jabir رضي الله عنه
✍️ Sh. Muhammad Ali Adam Al-Ityūbi رحمه الله.
📖 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5378
🎙 Explanation by Abu Awzaa’ee Abdus-Salaam وفقه الله:
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLa4VTguFg6tXhPBkM6SO3TYis3tGBQ84o&si=0Hanvon9-2inL5LT
6. Hajj Map in different languages
📕 PDF: https://t.me/k2knyc/5389
7. Explanation of Hadith on Dhul Hijjah
🎙 Sh. Abu Muhammad Abdur-Ra'uf Shakir حفظه الله
🎧 Audio: http://islamlecture.com/lesson.php?book_id=610
https://t.me/k2knyc/5381?single
8. Virtues of the First 10 Days of Dhul Hijjah
🎙 Sh. Abu Abdillah Imraan Hussein رحمه الله
🎧 Audio: https://youtu.be/ASbce0tCVVc?si=7TYIl_KfEX4KKKQw
9. Tafsir Surah al-Hajj
🎙 Abu Awzaa’ee Abdus-Salaam وفقه الله
🎧 Playlist
https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLa4VTguFg6tWOFCqbtQwg07Dwi1j1K6q1&si=c7Y3hp16pfNTkiXr
From a brother
Sir, kindly advise sisters to allow their unmarried friends to marry their husbands, what is good for you, it is good for your friend, wish your friend good by allowing your husband to marry them
I come in peace
Sir, kindly advise sisters to allow their unmarried friends to marry their husbands, what is good for you, it is good for your friend, wish your friend good by allowing your husband to marry them
I come in peace
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AN IMMATURE WOMAN WOULD:
• Argue to prove she's right.
• Shift blames instead of reflecting.
• Compete with her husband.
• Use emotion to manipulate.
• Care less about his growth.
• Say more than necessary.
• Test your patience and faith.
• Get offended easily.
• Think love should be perfect.
BUT A MATURE WOMAN WOULD:
• Communicate to find peace.
• Take on responsibility gracefully.
• Support her husband's growth.
• Express her feelings with clarity.
• Know where to draw the line.
• Understand before reacting.
• Listen more and say less.
• Respect him as her king.
• Submit to her man as her king on earth.
Where do you fall?
• Argue to prove she's right.
• Shift blames instead of reflecting.
• Compete with her husband.
• Use emotion to manipulate.
• Care less about his growth.
• Say more than necessary.
• Test your patience and faith.
• Get offended easily.
• Think love should be perfect.
BUT A MATURE WOMAN WOULD:
• Communicate to find peace.
• Take on responsibility gracefully.
• Support her husband's growth.
• Express her feelings with clarity.
• Know where to draw the line.
• Understand before reacting.
• Listen more and say less.
• Respect him as her king.
• Submit to her man as her king on earth.
Where do you fall?
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Choosing a Husband | Shaykh ibn ʿUthaymīn
What every Muslimah should look for in a prospective husband.
Question:
What are the most important matters which should form the basis for a woman to choose a husband, and does refusing a righteous person for worldly reasons bring Allāh's punishment upon her?
Answer:
The most important attributes which a woman should seek in one proposing marriage are good character and Dīn (Practice of the Religion). As regards wealth and lineage, then these are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the one proposing the marriage should be good in the Dīn and in his character - since regarding one possessing Dīn and good character, she will not lose out in any respect: if he keeps her, then he will do so in a good manner and if he releases her, he will do so in a good manner. Furthermore, the one possessing Dīn and good character will be a blessing for her and her children and she will learn good manners and the Dīn from him.
But if the person is one who does not have these attributes then she should avoid him - especially those who are negligent about the prayers, or one who is known to drink intoxicants - and Allāh's refuge is sought... So what is important is that the woman should concentrate on good character and practice of the Dīn. As regards lineage, then if it is attainable additionally, then that is more fitting, since Allāh's Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said: If there comes to you one whose Dīn and character is pleasing then give [the woman] in marriage to him
However, if one who is also similar in standing is found then that is better.
[Shaykh ibn ʿUthaymīn in Fatāwal-Mar'ah Vol. 1. p.50, in troid.org under the title 'Choosing a Husband'.
What every Muslimah should look for in a prospective husband.
Question:
What are the most important matters which should form the basis for a woman to choose a husband, and does refusing a righteous person for worldly reasons bring Allāh's punishment upon her?
Answer:
The most important attributes which a woman should seek in one proposing marriage are good character and Dīn (Practice of the Religion). As regards wealth and lineage, then these are secondary matters. The most important thing is that the one proposing the marriage should be good in the Dīn and in his character - since regarding one possessing Dīn and good character, she will not lose out in any respect: if he keeps her, then he will do so in a good manner and if he releases her, he will do so in a good manner. Furthermore, the one possessing Dīn and good character will be a blessing for her and her children and she will learn good manners and the Dīn from him.
But if the person is one who does not have these attributes then she should avoid him - especially those who are negligent about the prayers, or one who is known to drink intoxicants - and Allāh's refuge is sought... So what is important is that the woman should concentrate on good character and practice of the Dīn. As regards lineage, then if it is attainable additionally, then that is more fitting, since Allāh's Messenger (ṣallallāhu ʿalayhi wa-sallam) said: If there comes to you one whose Dīn and character is pleasing then give [the woman] in marriage to him
However, if one who is also similar in standing is found then that is better.
[Shaykh ibn ʿUthaymīn in Fatāwal-Mar'ah Vol. 1. p.50, in troid.org under the title 'Choosing a Husband'.
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Your wife's Jealously
"Beware of moving your wife's jealousy by admiring another woman in front of her, or by comparing her to your female relatives. This serves as a stab in the heart to her and it is not part of Islām to do so."
"Beware of moving your wife's jealousy by admiring another woman in front of her, or by comparing her to your female relatives. This serves as a stab in the heart to her and it is not part of Islām to do so."
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Why Did Allah Give 4 Months & 10 Days of ‘Iddah? 🤍
In a world that rushes everything…
Islam teaches us to pause with wisdom, dignity, and mercy.
Allah ﷻ says:
“And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait by themselves for four months and ten days. Then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame upon you for what they do with themselves in a lawful manner. And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:234)
This is not a restriction… it is protection. It is not hardship… it is divine wisdom.
💭 The wisdom behind ‘iddah:
1️⃣. Preservation of lineage
This period ensures clarity of pregnancy, protecting the child’s identity, inheritance, and family rights.
2️⃣. Honor for the marriage
A bond that was sacred is not ended overnight.
This time reflects loyalty, respect, and dignity for the husband.
3️⃣. Emotional healing
Losing a husband is not small.
Allah gives her time to grieve, reflect, and reconnect with Him - without pressure from the world.
🌿 Islam doesn’t ignore emotions… it protects them.
▪
📚 The Prophet ﷺ said:
“A woman whose husband has died should not wear clothes of adornment, nor use kohl, nor perfume, and should not get married until four months and ten days have passed.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 5334, Sahih Muslim 1486)
💭 During ‘iddah:
▪ She remains in her home
▪ She may go out only for necessity
▪ She avoids beautification and adornment
▪ She is given space, respect, and protection
And when the period ends… she is free.
Free to move forward. Free to remarry. Free to rebuild her life.
💎 Final Reflection:
Every ruling in Islam… even the ones we don’t fully understand… carries wisdom, mercy, and justice.
Allah does not burden…
He protects.
In a world that rushes everything…
Islam teaches us to pause with wisdom, dignity, and mercy.
Allah ﷻ says:
“And those of you who die and leave wives behind them, they (the wives) shall wait by themselves for four months and ten days. Then when they have fulfilled their term, there is no blame upon you for what they do with themselves in a lawful manner. And Allah is All-Aware of what you do.”
(Surah Al-Baqarah 2:234)
This is not a restriction… it is protection. It is not hardship… it is divine wisdom.
💭 The wisdom behind ‘iddah:
1️⃣. Preservation of lineage
This period ensures clarity of pregnancy, protecting the child’s identity, inheritance, and family rights.
2️⃣. Honor for the marriage
A bond that was sacred is not ended overnight.
This time reflects loyalty, respect, and dignity for the husband.
3️⃣. Emotional healing
Losing a husband is not small.
Allah gives her time to grieve, reflect, and reconnect with Him - without pressure from the world.
🌿 Islam doesn’t ignore emotions… it protects them.
▪
📚 The Prophet ﷺ said:
“A woman whose husband has died should not wear clothes of adornment, nor use kohl, nor perfume, and should not get married until four months and ten days have passed.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari 5334, Sahih Muslim 1486)
💭 During ‘iddah:
▪ She remains in her home
▪ She may go out only for necessity
▪ She avoids beautification and adornment
▪ She is given space, respect, and protection
And when the period ends… she is free.
Free to move forward. Free to remarry. Free to rebuild her life.
💎 Final Reflection:
Every ruling in Islam… even the ones we don’t fully understand… carries wisdom, mercy, and justice.
Allah does not burden…
He protects.
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Yes, it is sinful for a husband to ignore his wife’s emotional or physical state and force intimacy. Islam commands husbands to live with their wives in kindness and mercy (Qur’an 4:19), and the Prophet ﷺ said: “There should be no harm and no causing of harm.” Forcing a wife when she is not ready is zulm (oppression), and the husband will be accountable before Allah.
At the same time, Islam also encourages the wife to be considerate of her husband’s lawful desires and to make sincere effort to fulfill his rights when she is able. She should not withhold intimacy without reason, nor use it as a means of control. Marriage in Islam is based on mutual care, where the husband protects his wife’s emotional safety, and the wife respects her husband’s needs, both striving, with patience and compassion, to please Allah through pleasing one another.
O Allah, guide us to fulfill each other’s rights with mercy, protect us from injustice and neglect, and place love, understanding, and taqwa in our marriages. Ameen 🤲
At the same time, Islam also encourages the wife to be considerate of her husband’s lawful desires and to make sincere effort to fulfill his rights when she is able. She should not withhold intimacy without reason, nor use it as a means of control. Marriage in Islam is based on mutual care, where the husband protects his wife’s emotional safety, and the wife respects her husband’s needs, both striving, with patience and compassion, to please Allah through pleasing one another.
O Allah, guide us to fulfill each other’s rights with mercy, protect us from injustice and neglect, and place love, understanding, and taqwa in our marriages. Ameen 🤲
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Nothing scares me most on social media than seeing a Muslim married woman posting videos of She and her husband Hugging, kissing, sometimes seeing her moaning.
What pains me most is; her fellow friends won’t tell her it’s wrong,
but will be commenting GOALS GOALS GOALS !!!
What pains me most is; her fellow friends won’t tell her it’s wrong,
but will be commenting GOALS GOALS GOALS !!!
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Asking divorce for no reason
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her. {Abu Dawood 2226]
Shawkani: There is evidence in this hadith that it is strictly prohibited for a woman to demand divorce from her husband (without any reason) because one who does not smell the fragrance of Paradise will never be able to enter Paradise.
Sheikh Saleem Hilali: It is strictly prohibited for a woman to demand divorce without any reason.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her. {Abu Dawood 2226]
Shawkani: There is evidence in this hadith that it is strictly prohibited for a woman to demand divorce from her husband (without any reason) because one who does not smell the fragrance of Paradise will never be able to enter Paradise.
Sheikh Saleem Hilali: It is strictly prohibited for a woman to demand divorce without any reason.
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Shaykh-ul-Islām Ibn Taymiyyah Raḥimahullāh:
“It is OBLIGATORY upon the wife to serve her husband.. (like taking care of the house furnishings, serving food, drink, bread and kneading dough)... because the husband is her MASTER as per the BOOK OF ALLĀH and she's a CAPTIVE with him as per the SUNNAH OF MESSENGER OF ALLĀH Ṣallallāhu-'Alaihi Wa Sallam, and what is known is that upon a captive and slave is to serve the master, and this is the truth In Shā Allāh.”
● [مجموع الفتاوى ٣٤/٩٠]
“It is OBLIGATORY upon the wife to serve her husband.. (like taking care of the house furnishings, serving food, drink, bread and kneading dough)... because the husband is her MASTER as per the BOOK OF ALLĀH and she's a CAPTIVE with him as per the SUNNAH OF MESSENGER OF ALLĀH Ṣallallāhu-'Alaihi Wa Sallam, and what is known is that upon a captive and slave is to serve the master, and this is the truth In Shā Allāh.”
● [مجموع الفتاوى ٣٤/٩٠]
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In India, marriage is treated as a status ladder. Every family wants to climb higher better job, bigger house, more "respect" But when two families stand on different status they bridge that gap with Dowry.
lower status family pays to rise. The higher status family demands.
Calling dowry tradition doesn’t make it less filthy. Islam gave women rights and dignity, dowry culture turns marriage into a marketplace where families bid for approval. And let’s be clear a man who demands dowry isn’t high status he’s just a beggar in a sherwani. Demanding it or giving it both are equally wrong.
lower status family pays to rise. The higher status family demands.
Calling dowry tradition doesn’t make it less filthy. Islam gave women rights and dignity, dowry culture turns marriage into a marketplace where families bid for approval. And let’s be clear a man who demands dowry isn’t high status he’s just a beggar in a sherwani. Demanding it or giving it both are equally wrong.
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