Kids Discipline.
“Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that)." Ali ibn Abi Taalib radiyallahu anha.
·First Seven Years
In the first seven years, your goal is to build a strong connection to your child. This is the foundation, the base from which your relationship with them grows. If this is rock solid, the remaining years will be much easier. If this foundation forms poorly, the next years will be more challenging. If you have young children, this (first seven years) is the time to roll up your sleeves and invest, heavily, in your and their future.
·Next Seven Years
This is the time to teach them everything — aqeedah, halaal and haraam, fiqh, all the things they need to know to survive throughout their life. Qur’an and seerah are also very important. This is the time they are sponges, ready to soak up anything and everything you tell them, teach them, show them, and do in front of them. If you built that solid foundation in ages 0-7, they are now more than willing and happy to learn from you.
Teach them sports, too; Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Teach your children swimming, archery and horseback riding.” They gain many benefits from it, including physical fitness, learning teamwork, and sportsmanship.
·The Final Seven Years
Once your children hit 14, they are probably already mukallaf (full adults Islamically, and accountable for their actions) — this happens at puberty, or at age 15 at the latest.
At this age, you are mostly out of the picture. Children achieve independence; their personalities manifest; they look more to their peers than their parents and families. During these critical years, befriend them, advise them, and do what you can; understand that they are now full adults, and the choices are theirs to make, right or wrong.
If you worked hard during the last two periods of seven years, you will already be that trusted confidant, that advisor, that go-to person when they need help or advice. Be part of their lives, and advise them as best you can.
“Play with them for the first seven years (of their life); then teach them for the next seven years; then advise them for the next seven years (and after that)." Ali ibn Abi Taalib radiyallahu anha.
·First Seven Years
In the first seven years, your goal is to build a strong connection to your child. This is the foundation, the base from which your relationship with them grows. If this is rock solid, the remaining years will be much easier. If this foundation forms poorly, the next years will be more challenging. If you have young children, this (first seven years) is the time to roll up your sleeves and invest, heavily, in your and their future.
·Next Seven Years
This is the time to teach them everything — aqeedah, halaal and haraam, fiqh, all the things they need to know to survive throughout their life. Qur’an and seerah are also very important. This is the time they are sponges, ready to soak up anything and everything you tell them, teach them, show them, and do in front of them. If you built that solid foundation in ages 0-7, they are now more than willing and happy to learn from you.
Teach them sports, too; Rasulullah (salallahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “Teach your children swimming, archery and horseback riding.” They gain many benefits from it, including physical fitness, learning teamwork, and sportsmanship.
·The Final Seven Years
Once your children hit 14, they are probably already mukallaf (full adults Islamically, and accountable for their actions) — this happens at puberty, or at age 15 at the latest.
At this age, you are mostly out of the picture. Children achieve independence; their personalities manifest; they look more to their peers than their parents and families. During these critical years, befriend them, advise them, and do what you can; understand that they are now full adults, and the choices are theirs to make, right or wrong.
If you worked hard during the last two periods of seven years, you will already be that trusted confidant, that advisor, that go-to person when they need help or advice. Be part of their lives, and advise them as best you can.
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I watched the children grow.
On each of my children's graduation days, there is one thing that almost always happens: a quiet tear of joy. It comes from knowing how hard I have worked and how Allah, in His infinite Mercy, has blessed them, crowned our efforts, and rewarded the sacrifices made by both their father and me.
It is difficult to raise one child; how much more challenging is it to raise multiple children and teenagers as they journey toward adulthood?
Moments like these remind me that we should show even more gratitude to Allah for granting us this opportunity, while some of our beloved brothers and sisters are still waiting and praying for the same blessing.
We should be grateful that Allah blessed us with Islam and allowed our children to follow us upon this noble religion.
We should be grateful that He gave us the Qur'an and enabled our children to learn it, read it, and even memorize this noble Book.
Yet, while we give all praise and gratitude to Allah for these achievements, we continue to beg Him to grant them steadfastness upon the Deen, Islam, the Qur'an, Ṣalāh, Tawḥīd, and Tahajjud. We ask Him to rectify their shortcomings and correct any unhealthy habits or behaviors that may be present in them.
May Allah grant them hearts that fear Him, ears that listen to beneficial advice, and souls that readily accept correction when they are reminded of goodness and truth. May He make them a source of reward for us and not a proof against us on the Day of Judgment. Āmīn.
Umm Sumayyah Mai
On each of my children's graduation days, there is one thing that almost always happens: a quiet tear of joy. It comes from knowing how hard I have worked and how Allah, in His infinite Mercy, has blessed them, crowned our efforts, and rewarded the sacrifices made by both their father and me.
It is difficult to raise one child; how much more challenging is it to raise multiple children and teenagers as they journey toward adulthood?
Moments like these remind me that we should show even more gratitude to Allah for granting us this opportunity, while some of our beloved brothers and sisters are still waiting and praying for the same blessing.
We should be grateful that Allah blessed us with Islam and allowed our children to follow us upon this noble religion.
We should be grateful that He gave us the Qur'an and enabled our children to learn it, read it, and even memorize this noble Book.
Yet, while we give all praise and gratitude to Allah for these achievements, we continue to beg Him to grant them steadfastness upon the Deen, Islam, the Qur'an, Ṣalāh, Tawḥīd, and Tahajjud. We ask Him to rectify their shortcomings and correct any unhealthy habits or behaviors that may be present in them.
May Allah grant them hearts that fear Him, ears that listen to beneficial advice, and souls that readily accept correction when they are reminded of goodness and truth. May He make them a source of reward for us and not a proof against us on the Day of Judgment. Āmīn.
Umm Sumayyah Mai
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*How To Raise Corrupt Kids*
(1) Never invite or pray in front of them. Let them grow up thinking is just for old people.
(2) Hand them a screen, not your time. Let cartoons raise them. You’re too “busy,” remember?
(3) Be harsh when they mess up. But never praise their efforts or model forgiveness.
(4) Gossip in front of them. They’re listening. And learning.
(5) Don’t teach Qur’an until you’re “finally ready.” They’ll fill that gap up with TikTok reciters and Instagram imams.
(6) Compare them to other kids constantly. Build jealousy in them, and kill their confidence.
(7) Enroll them in a secular school, then expect Islām at home to win. You think 8 hours a day of reprogramming is a joke?
(8) Keep them far from scholars and students of knowledge.
(9) Never explain the “why” behind the rules and commandments.
(10) Often argue with your spouse in front of them. Let them feel unsafe and confused at home.
(11) Never apologize to them. Let your ego be greater than their emotional health.
(12) Avoid heart-to-heart conversations. They’ll open up — but not to you.
(13) Make everything about grades. Not about character, not about ʿibādah. Just grades.
(14) Dress them like mini influencers. Then be shocked when they crave attention over īmān.
(15) Be a Muslim only in name, not in routine. Let them see the hypocrisy early.
(16) Use Islam to shame, not to shape. Make them hate what was supposed to heal.
(17) Make them fear your slippers more than the fire of Jahannam.
(18) Ignore their talents. Mock their abilities. Then pray they “find their path” someday.
(19) Pay for toys, and never for good tarbiyah (upbringing) and materials.
(20) Never change, but expect them to.
Now flip it.
Do the opposite.
And you’ll raise righteous children (by the will of Allah).
Via Bryt
(1) Never invite or pray in front of them. Let them grow up thinking is just for old people.
(2) Hand them a screen, not your time. Let cartoons raise them. You’re too “busy,” remember?
(3) Be harsh when they mess up. But never praise their efforts or model forgiveness.
(4) Gossip in front of them. They’re listening. And learning.
(5) Don’t teach Qur’an until you’re “finally ready.” They’ll fill that gap up with TikTok reciters and Instagram imams.
(6) Compare them to other kids constantly. Build jealousy in them, and kill their confidence.
(7) Enroll them in a secular school, then expect Islām at home to win. You think 8 hours a day of reprogramming is a joke?
(8) Keep them far from scholars and students of knowledge.
(9) Never explain the “why” behind the rules and commandments.
(10) Often argue with your spouse in front of them. Let them feel unsafe and confused at home.
(11) Never apologize to them. Let your ego be greater than their emotional health.
(12) Avoid heart-to-heart conversations. They’ll open up — but not to you.
(13) Make everything about grades. Not about character, not about ʿibādah. Just grades.
(14) Dress them like mini influencers. Then be shocked when they crave attention over īmān.
(15) Be a Muslim only in name, not in routine. Let them see the hypocrisy early.
(16) Use Islam to shame, not to shape. Make them hate what was supposed to heal.
(17) Make them fear your slippers more than the fire of Jahannam.
(18) Ignore their talents. Mock their abilities. Then pray they “find their path” someday.
(19) Pay for toys, and never for good tarbiyah (upbringing) and materials.
(20) Never change, but expect them to.
Now flip it.
Do the opposite.
And you’ll raise righteous children (by the will of Allah).
Via Bryt
💯12
Losing our children to these Western societies is a real threat and a real danger. Parents need to do everything in their power to help preserve their children’s Islamic identity.
Do not expect others to do your job. Parents need to be invested and active within the masjids and Islamic centres. This means being part of committees catering to the youth, contributing with time, ideas and money, signing your children up for activities and actually taking them and encouraging other parents to do the same.
We need to worry about and show
Concern for the future generations here. Building masjids and opening Islamic centres is great, but if we don’t bring our children in and make them feel like they belong, what’s the point?
Do not expect others to do your job. Parents need to be invested and active within the masjids and Islamic centres. This means being part of committees catering to the youth, contributing with time, ideas and money, signing your children up for activities and actually taking them and encouraging other parents to do the same.
We need to worry about and show
Concern for the future generations here. Building masjids and opening Islamic centres is great, but if we don’t bring our children in and make them feel like they belong, what’s the point?
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Do not give a child everything he wants, lest he grows up spoilt, with an entitlement mentality.
Do not deny a child everything he asks, lest he grows up feeling miserable.
If a child gets everything he wants, he'd feel entitled to own whatever he wants even if it means oppressing someone or killing people to get that thing by force
If a child gets denied everything, he'd grow up feeling hopeless, lost, vulnerable, and gives up easily on everything, even on his own life.
Take the middle cause, give a child what he wants sometimes and deny them some other time even if you can afford it. So he'd know that everything isn't meant for him alone, and he can't always get what he wants, his wishes won't be people's command, and other people matter as much as he does, because the world doesn't revolve around him alone !!
Copied
Do not deny a child everything he asks, lest he grows up feeling miserable.
If a child gets everything he wants, he'd feel entitled to own whatever he wants even if it means oppressing someone or killing people to get that thing by force
If a child gets denied everything, he'd grow up feeling hopeless, lost, vulnerable, and gives up easily on everything, even on his own life.
Take the middle cause, give a child what he wants sometimes and deny them some other time even if you can afford it. So he'd know that everything isn't meant for him alone, and he can't always get what he wants, his wishes won't be people's command, and other people matter as much as he does, because the world doesn't revolve around him alone !!
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💯12👍9
Raising boys is difficult, and raising girls is even more delicate.
So be patient with the difficulty, and pay attention to what is even more delicate.
Someone asked:
“How do I raise them? Trials are many, and corruption is easier than ever.”
The reply is:
Begin by rectifying yourself before trying to correct them. Strive to be an example of goodness in front of your children.
Perfect your prayer. Guard your tongue from careless speech. And be mindful that Allah is always watching you.
Know that goodness leaves an impact, and love for righteousness spreads through actions before words.
Children are deeply affected by what they see from their parents. Your actions raise them before your advice does.
The companions رضي الله عنهم spoke little but acted greatly, so their children learned more from their character than from long lectures.
If parents truly realized the immense reward and responsibility connected to raising children, they would endure every hardship with patience.
For a shadow can never become straight while the stick itself remains crooked.
So be patient with the difficulty, and pay attention to what is even more delicate.
Someone asked:
“How do I raise them? Trials are many, and corruption is easier than ever.”
The reply is:
Begin by rectifying yourself before trying to correct them. Strive to be an example of goodness in front of your children.
Perfect your prayer. Guard your tongue from careless speech. And be mindful that Allah is always watching you.
Know that goodness leaves an impact, and love for righteousness spreads through actions before words.
Children are deeply affected by what they see from their parents. Your actions raise them before your advice does.
The companions رضي الله عنهم spoke little but acted greatly, so their children learned more from their character than from long lectures.
If parents truly realized the immense reward and responsibility connected to raising children, they would endure every hardship with patience.
For a shadow can never become straight while the stick itself remains crooked.
💯24
Forwarded from Insightful Couples Marriage Guide Platform
Beware of Istidraaj: When Delayed Punishment Becomes a Trial
بســـم اللــه الرحــمــن الـرحـــيــم
Brothers, beware of istidraaj — when Allaah allows a sinner to continue enjoying ease, success, status, and concealment while steadily increasing him in sin until destruction overtakes him unexpectedly.
Look at Fir‘awn. He was granted kingdom, power, authority, wealth, and influence until his very last moments. Yet he oppressed his wife, slaughtered innocent boys, humiliated women, enslaved a nation, and — greater than all of that — arrogantly rejected the clear signs brought by the Messenger of Allaah.
His worldly success was not honour. It was a rope being extended.
So do not be deceived when Allaah conceals your sins. Do not imagine that because punishment has not yet arrived, you are safe. A man may oppress his wife, betray trusts, nurture hidden hypocrisy, persist upon secret kufr, mock the limits of Allaah in private, and still wake up every day with provision, health, and reputation. That concealment is not always mercy. Sometimes it is a test. Sometimes it is abandonment.
Do not think you can spend the beginning of your life playing games with your Lord, then conveniently repent at the end when your desires weaken and death approaches. Allaah is not unjust, and evil plots only encircle its planner.
Even the grandfather of the Prophet ﷺ spent years protecting and supporting his grandson, defending him against harm and standing beside him in difficult times, yet he did not die upon Islaam. Good deeds alone do not guarantee a good ending. Nearness to righteousness is not righteousness itself. Lineage, service, intelligence, activism, reputation, or sacrifice cannot save a person if sincerity and submission to Allaah are absent.
So be humble.
Rush toward tawbah before the door closes. Increase in righteousness while you still possess strength. And constantly beg Allaah for steadfastness, because the greatest karāmah is not wealth, influence, intelligence, or admiration from people — it is to die upon guidance and sincerity.
A beautiful ending is not owed to anyone. It is granted by Allaah alone - And Allaah is not unjust!
t.me/Insightful_Couples
whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbB7MBUDp2Q4elmF2U3t
بســـم اللــه الرحــمــن الـرحـــيــم
Brothers, beware of istidraaj — when Allaah allows a sinner to continue enjoying ease, success, status, and concealment while steadily increasing him in sin until destruction overtakes him unexpectedly.
Look at Fir‘awn. He was granted kingdom, power, authority, wealth, and influence until his very last moments. Yet he oppressed his wife, slaughtered innocent boys, humiliated women, enslaved a nation, and — greater than all of that — arrogantly rejected the clear signs brought by the Messenger of Allaah.
His worldly success was not honour. It was a rope being extended.
So do not be deceived when Allaah conceals your sins. Do not imagine that because punishment has not yet arrived, you are safe. A man may oppress his wife, betray trusts, nurture hidden hypocrisy, persist upon secret kufr, mock the limits of Allaah in private, and still wake up every day with provision, health, and reputation. That concealment is not always mercy. Sometimes it is a test. Sometimes it is abandonment.
Do not think you can spend the beginning of your life playing games with your Lord, then conveniently repent at the end when your desires weaken and death approaches. Allaah is not unjust, and evil plots only encircle its planner.
Even the grandfather of the Prophet ﷺ spent years protecting and supporting his grandson, defending him against harm and standing beside him in difficult times, yet he did not die upon Islaam. Good deeds alone do not guarantee a good ending. Nearness to righteousness is not righteousness itself. Lineage, service, intelligence, activism, reputation, or sacrifice cannot save a person if sincerity and submission to Allaah are absent.
So be humble.
Rush toward tawbah before the door closes. Increase in righteousness while you still possess strength. And constantly beg Allaah for steadfastness, because the greatest karāmah is not wealth, influence, intelligence, or admiration from people — it is to die upon guidance and sincerity.
A beautiful ending is not owed to anyone. It is granted by Allaah alone - And Allaah is not unjust!
t.me/Insightful_Couples
whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbB7MBUDp2Q4elmF2U3t
👍2⚡1
YOU, YOUR WEALTH BELONGS TO YOUR FATHER"
It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah (radiAllahuanhu) that a man said: "O Messenger of Allah, I have wealth and a son, and my father wants to take all my wealth." He said: "You and your wealth belongs to your father." [Sunan Ibn Majah 2291 & Musnad Aḥmad].
حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ يُونُسَ، حَدَّثَنَا يُوسُفُ بْنُ إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ الْمُنْكَدِرِ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، أَنَّ رَجُلاً، قَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ لِي مَالاً وَوَلَدًا وَإِنَّ أَبِي يُرِيدُ أَنْ يَجْتَاحَ مَالِي فَقَالَ " أَنْتَ وَمَالُكَ لأَبِيكَ " .
Commentary:
A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of Allāh ﷺ , my father wants to take my wealth.’ The Prophet ﷺ replied, ‘you and your wealth are for your father’.
There are 5 conditions which permits a father utilising some of the wealth of his son:
1. He has a need to utilise some of the wealth, and only takes according to his need.There should be no harm upon the son.
2. The wealth should be surplus to the needs of the son. For example, if the son requires his car to earn a living and going to work, it is not permitted for the father cannot take it for himself.
3. The father taking the wealth does not prevent the son fulfilling rights of others, such as spending upon his mother, or maintaining his wife and children.
4. The father is not being wasteful with the money, or comitting harām such as gambling.
5. The father cannot take wealth off one son, in order to give it to another son/child, as this is favouritism between children and oppression.
This Ḥadīth also shows the immense right of parents over their children, and that these rights do not cease as soon as a child leaves their parental home or becomes independant.
The correct meaning of this Ḥadīth is that ‘…your wealth [can be utilised] by your father’ and not ‘…[belong] to your father’. [Refer to Nayl al-Awtār by ash-Shawkāni Vol. 6 P. 17]
This Ḥadīth does not give the father complete ownership of the son’s wealth, rather it permits him to take some of it for a need. The son must still give its Zakāh, as well as it being his inheritance for others.
Related Āyāt:
{Worship Allāh, associate nothing with Him, and be good to your parents} [Al Qurʾān 4:36]
{Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and be good to your parents} [Al Qurʾān 17:23]
{And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”} [Al Qurʾān 17:24]
Related narrations:
The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘The father is the middle of the gates of Paradise, so keep to this gate or lose it.’ [At-Tirmidhī]
A man came to the Prophet ﷺ asking permission to wage jihad. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘are your parents alive?’ The man replied, ‘yes’. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Then strive in the service of them both.’ [Al-Bukhārī & Muslim].
It was narrated from Jabir bin 'Abdullah (radiAllahuanhu) that a man said: "O Messenger of Allah, I have wealth and a son, and my father wants to take all my wealth." He said: "You and your wealth belongs to your father." [Sunan Ibn Majah 2291 & Musnad Aḥmad].
حَدَّثَنَا هِشَامُ بْنُ عَمَّارٍ، حَدَّثَنَا عِيسَى بْنُ يُونُسَ، حَدَّثَنَا يُوسُفُ بْنُ إِسْحَاقَ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ الْمُنْكَدِرِ، عَنْ جَابِرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ، أَنَّ رَجُلاً، قَالَ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ إِنَّ لِي مَالاً وَوَلَدًا وَإِنَّ أَبِي يُرِيدُ أَنْ يَجْتَاحَ مَالِي فَقَالَ " أَنْتَ وَمَالُكَ لأَبِيكَ " .
Commentary:
A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of Allāh ﷺ , my father wants to take my wealth.’ The Prophet ﷺ replied, ‘you and your wealth are for your father’.
There are 5 conditions which permits a father utilising some of the wealth of his son:
1. He has a need to utilise some of the wealth, and only takes according to his need.There should be no harm upon the son.
2. The wealth should be surplus to the needs of the son. For example, if the son requires his car to earn a living and going to work, it is not permitted for the father cannot take it for himself.
3. The father taking the wealth does not prevent the son fulfilling rights of others, such as spending upon his mother, or maintaining his wife and children.
4. The father is not being wasteful with the money, or comitting harām such as gambling.
5. The father cannot take wealth off one son, in order to give it to another son/child, as this is favouritism between children and oppression.
This Ḥadīth also shows the immense right of parents over their children, and that these rights do not cease as soon as a child leaves their parental home or becomes independant.
The correct meaning of this Ḥadīth is that ‘…your wealth [can be utilised] by your father’ and not ‘…[belong] to your father’. [Refer to Nayl al-Awtār by ash-Shawkāni Vol. 6 P. 17]
This Ḥadīth does not give the father complete ownership of the son’s wealth, rather it permits him to take some of it for a need. The son must still give its Zakāh, as well as it being his inheritance for others.
Related Āyāt:
{Worship Allāh, associate nothing with Him, and be good to your parents} [Al Qurʾān 4:36]
{Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and be good to your parents} [Al Qurʾān 17:23]
{And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, “My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small.”} [Al Qurʾān 17:24]
Related narrations:
The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘The father is the middle of the gates of Paradise, so keep to this gate or lose it.’ [At-Tirmidhī]
A man came to the Prophet ﷺ asking permission to wage jihad. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘are your parents alive?’ The man replied, ‘yes’. The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Then strive in the service of them both.’ [Al-Bukhārī & Muslim].
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Fighting is common in preschool because young children are still learning to share, take turns, communicate, and regulate their emotions. The goal isn't just to stop the fight—it's to teach the skills that prevent future conflicts.
Here are some effective strategies:
* Stay calm and intervene immediately. Separate the children if needed and ensure everyone is safe.
* Acknowledge feelings. "I can see you're both upset."
* Find out what happened without assigning blame. Listen to each child briefly.
* Teach simple words they can use instead of hitting, such as "Can I have a turn?" or "I'm still using it."
* Help them solve the problem together. Offer choices: take turns, use a timer, find another toy, or play together.
* Praise positive behaviour. Notice when children share, use kind words, or solve problems peacefully.
* Look for patterns. Ask yourself:
* Does fighting happen over the same toys?
* Is it during transitions?
* Are the children tired, hungry, or overstimulated?
* Adjust the environment. Provide duplicate popular toys, create enough play space, and establish predictable routines.
* Teach social-emotional skills daily through stories, role-play, games, and modeling kind behaviour.
Remember, challenging behaviour is often a form of communication. Instead of asking, "How do I stop this behaviour?" ask, "What skill is this child missing, and how can I teach it?"
For preschoolers, every conflict is a learning opportunity. With consistent guidance, patience, and positive modeling, they gradually learn to manage disagreements, express their feelings appropriately, and build healthy relationships.
Here are some effective strategies:
* Stay calm and intervene immediately. Separate the children if needed and ensure everyone is safe.
* Acknowledge feelings. "I can see you're both upset."
* Find out what happened without assigning blame. Listen to each child briefly.
* Teach simple words they can use instead of hitting, such as "Can I have a turn?" or "I'm still using it."
* Help them solve the problem together. Offer choices: take turns, use a timer, find another toy, or play together.
* Praise positive behaviour. Notice when children share, use kind words, or solve problems peacefully.
* Look for patterns. Ask yourself:
* Does fighting happen over the same toys?
* Is it during transitions?
* Are the children tired, hungry, or overstimulated?
* Adjust the environment. Provide duplicate popular toys, create enough play space, and establish predictable routines.
* Teach social-emotional skills daily through stories, role-play, games, and modeling kind behaviour.
Remember, challenging behaviour is often a form of communication. Instead of asking, "How do I stop this behaviour?" ask, "What skill is this child missing, and how can I teach it?"
For preschoolers, every conflict is a learning opportunity. With consistent guidance, patience, and positive modeling, they gradually learn to manage disagreements, express their feelings appropriately, and build healthy relationships.
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Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah (d. 751 AH) said: "Daughters are not a burden. Rather, they are a test of mercy, and whoever is merciful to them will receive mercy from Allah. Islam elevated their status, while ignorance buried them."
Alhamdulillāh, today, 3rd of July at 4:48 am, on 7th of Muharram, 1447 AH, Allah ﷻ has once again blessed me with a beautiful daughter.
Imam Ahmad would congratulate the one having a daughter by saying: "Congratulations, for the Prophets were mostly fathers of daughters."
They say that sons carry the name of their father, but what they don't tell you is that it's the daughters who carry their fathers. A father may hold his daughter's hands for a short while, but carries her in his heart forever.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Do not dislike daughters. They are comforting and precious.” - (Musnad Ahmad 2114 – Graded Hasan by scholars like al-Albani)
May Allah ﷻ make us amongst the righteous and allow us to raise our children upon the Pleasure of Allah and nurture them upon good manners. May we be grateful to Him for this beautiful gift and allow our children to be righteous and come to maturity. May He allow us to make this world a better place for them. May He ﷻ allow us to be a good example for them, and may He protect them from all kinds of evil.
Ameen.
#blessing #daughters
Alhamdulillāh, today, 3rd of July at 4:48 am, on 7th of Muharram, 1447 AH, Allah ﷻ has once again blessed me with a beautiful daughter.
Imam Ahmad would congratulate the one having a daughter by saying: "Congratulations, for the Prophets were mostly fathers of daughters."
They say that sons carry the name of their father, but what they don't tell you is that it's the daughters who carry their fathers. A father may hold his daughter's hands for a short while, but carries her in his heart forever.
The Prophet ﷺ said: “Do not dislike daughters. They are comforting and precious.” - (Musnad Ahmad 2114 – Graded Hasan by scholars like al-Albani)
May Allah ﷻ make us amongst the righteous and allow us to raise our children upon the Pleasure of Allah and nurture them upon good manners. May we be grateful to Him for this beautiful gift and allow our children to be righteous and come to maturity. May He allow us to make this world a better place for them. May He ﷻ allow us to be a good example for them, and may He protect them from all kinds of evil.
Ameen.
#blessing #daughters
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Muslim Children Tips
Photo
🧠 Research shows constant criticism rewires a child’s brain.
And the emotional stress shapes lifelong mental health.
Children raised in environments filled with constant criticism often develop a stress-response system that remains on high alert, even in the absence of actual threats.
This chronic activation of the fight-or-flight state interferes with a child’s ability to feel safe, calm, or emotionally grounded.
According to research from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, persistent emotional stress in early life can alter brain architecture, leading to long-term issues with emotional regulation, anxiety, and attention. When everyday interactions are perceived as threatening, children may respond with hypervigilance, withdrawal, or emotional shutdown—defense mechanisms rooted in survival.
As these children grow, the expectation of judgment or harm becomes deeply ingrained in their nervous system, affecting their self-esteem and relationships. They may struggle to trust others or feel secure in social settings, constantly anticipating criticism or rejection. This state of chronic stress is known as "toxic stress," and it’s been linked to a range of lifelong impacts—from depression and learning difficulties to physical health problems. The findings underscore how emotionally unsafe environments can have a lasting effect on a child’s development, both psychologically and biologically.
Source:
The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. InBrief: The Impact of Early Adversity on Children's Development.
And the emotional stress shapes lifelong mental health.
Children raised in environments filled with constant criticism often develop a stress-response system that remains on high alert, even in the absence of actual threats.
This chronic activation of the fight-or-flight state interferes with a child’s ability to feel safe, calm, or emotionally grounded.
According to research from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, persistent emotional stress in early life can alter brain architecture, leading to long-term issues with emotional regulation, anxiety, and attention. When everyday interactions are perceived as threatening, children may respond with hypervigilance, withdrawal, or emotional shutdown—defense mechanisms rooted in survival.
As these children grow, the expectation of judgment or harm becomes deeply ingrained in their nervous system, affecting their self-esteem and relationships. They may struggle to trust others or feel secure in social settings, constantly anticipating criticism or rejection. This state of chronic stress is known as "toxic stress," and it’s been linked to a range of lifelong impacts—from depression and learning difficulties to physical health problems. The findings underscore how emotionally unsafe environments can have a lasting effect on a child’s development, both psychologically and biologically.
Source:
The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University. InBrief: The Impact of Early Adversity on Children's Development.
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Indian parents love their kids like any other parent, but also construct their entire lives around their children. Their only identity becomes “someone’s father” or “someone’s mother”.
Consequently, they take everything from report card to marriage as a personal achievement or failure. Their self image is a soulless monument built around their kids lives.
This is tragic - the children sometimes compete with their parents to live their own life. It leads to double lives and resentment.
It’s high time Indian parents got a life of their own.
Consequently, they take everything from report card to marriage as a personal achievement or failure. Their self image is a soulless monument built around their kids lives.
This is tragic - the children sometimes compete with their parents to live their own life. It leads to double lives and resentment.
It’s high time Indian parents got a life of their own.
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imām ibn bāz said:
being good to your parents is from the reasons of Allāh relieving you of distress, and easing your affairs.
- nūr ʿalā al-darb 2/122
being good to your parents is from the reasons of Allāh relieving you of distress, and easing your affairs.
- nūr ʿalā al-darb 2/122
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Imaam Ibn al-Jawzi quoted Mujahid as saying:
لا ينبغي للولد أن يدفع يد والده إذا ضربه، ومن شد النظر إلى والديه لم يبرهما، ومن أدخل عليهما ما يحزنهما فقد عقهما
"𝗔 𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝗺. 𝑊ℎ𝑜𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑠ℎ𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑔𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑓 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚."
('Birr al-Walidayn', p. 8 ).
This is not to endorse this opinion, or to justify violence, but to show to what extent some scholars went, emphasizing the importance of being good to our parents.
We owe them our existence, after God.
Some people have bad and abusive parents, this is their test.
Don't tolerate abuse, but repel it with respect and kindness - after all, they are our parents.
لا ينبغي للولد أن يدفع يد والده إذا ضربه، ومن شد النظر إلى والديه لم يبرهما، ومن أدخل عليهما ما يحزنهما فقد عقهما
"𝗔 𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗽𝘂𝘀𝗵 𝗮𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿'𝘀 𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗸𝗲𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝗺. 𝑊ℎ𝑜𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑜𝑘𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑠ℎ𝑙𝑦 𝑎𝑡 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑝𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑛 𝑑𝑢𝑡𝑖𝑓𝑢𝑙 𝑡𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚. 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑤ℎ𝑜𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚 𝑔𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑓 ℎ𝑎𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑒𝑒𝑑 𝑑𝑖𝑠𝑜𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑚."
('Birr al-Walidayn', p. 8 ).
This is not to endorse this opinion, or to justify violence, but to show to what extent some scholars went, emphasizing the importance of being good to our parents.
We owe them our existence, after God.
Some people have bad and abusive parents, this is their test.
Don't tolerate abuse, but repel it with respect and kindness - after all, they are our parents.
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Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) said:
"Do not let your animals and children go out when the sun sets until the first and the darkest part of the night is over, for the Satan is let loose with the sinking of the sun until the darkest part of the night is over."
📚 Sahih Muslim 2013
"Do not let your animals and children go out when the sun sets until the first and the darkest part of the night is over, for the Satan is let loose with the sinking of the sun until the darkest part of the night is over."
📚 Sahih Muslim 2013
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DEAR PARENTS IN ISLAM !!
If You can take your children for Shopping, Then why can't you take them to nearby Masjid.?
If you can wake them Up for a long journey, Then why can't you wake them up for Fajar?
If you can buy them stories and comics, Why can't you buy them translated Quran and hadith books?
If you can send them to high class tuitions, then why can't you send them to nearby Madrasa?
If you have time to watch movies with them, then why don't you have a bit time to spend with them for Islamic lecturers?
Dear Parents, please let us all reconnect with the Deen.!
If You can take your children for Shopping, Then why can't you take them to nearby Masjid.?
If you can wake them Up for a long journey, Then why can't you wake them up for Fajar?
If you can buy them stories and comics, Why can't you buy them translated Quran and hadith books?
If you can send them to high class tuitions, then why can't you send them to nearby Madrasa?
If you have time to watch movies with them, then why don't you have a bit time to spend with them for Islamic lecturers?
Dear Parents, please let us all reconnect with the Deen.!
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"Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands."
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