CO-ED DORMS: SLEEPING TOGETHER, by Jessica Tomer
Colleges in the United States started having co-ed residence halls back in the 1970s, and today, about 90% of all schools have at least one co-ed dorm building. Co-ed dorms (meaning the buildings, not the individual rooms) may still separate genders, often by floors or “wings.” But many colleges just mix things up, with female and male roommates living next door or across the hall from each other. In any case, there’s a good chance you’ll run into the opposite sex while you’re in your jammies—and possibly while you’re in the public restrooms.
Also, though most shared dorm rooms are still single sex, more than 150 colleges, including Brown University, Stanford University, The University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University, and the California Institute of Technology, now allow some or all students to share a room with anyone they choose—and we mean anyone. These co-ed dorm rooms are typically called “gender-neutral housing.”
ON THE SUBJECT OF BATHROOMS, which are often students’ biggest concern about co-ed living: co-ed dorm bathroom policies also vary, so it’s important to check with your college to see what’s up. For example, UC Riverside’s co-ed dorms have gender-specific restrooms and showers, but at MIT, the bathrooms are co-ed too. In co-ed bathrooms, the showers have curtains and bathroom stalls have doors (just like in single-sex bathrooms), but you’ll still find yourself in close proximity to someone of the opposite sex. And, yes, you both might be naked. But unless one of you chooses to strut around in your birthday suit, you’re not going to see anyone’s nakedness.
Beyond bathrooms, co-ed dorms are pretty much like any other dorms, except, you know, co-ed. There are often communal spaces to hang out, cook, and/or study. RAs plan events. You’ll go through some sort of security checkpoint to get in. And you’ll probably need to sign in any guests if you have them (though co-ed dorms may be more lax about guests of the opposite sex and curfews).
Gender-neutral and co-ed rooms can also be important to members of the LGBTQ community. Some gay students feel more comfortable rooming with someone of the opposite sex. And students who identify as trans- or non-gender-binary appreciate dorms where they feel welcome as a person.
MANY STUDENTS SAY IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH BROTHERS AND SISTERS. Sure, a little awkward at first, but you get used to it. Hanging out with your dorm friends (no matter their gender) is tons of fun, but the day-to-day living is actually kind of boring. Yup, everybody showers. Everybody looks a little worn out in the mornings. And everybody poops.
I lived in a co-ed dorm freshman year of college, and honestly, it wasn’t a big deal. I shared a cozy little room with another female student, and we had two boys living next door. We didn’t even see them that often. Some people got dressed in the communal bathroom after they showered, and some just walked to and from their room in robes or towels. Either way is a little nerve-wracking at first, but, again, you get used to it. Some students prefer co-ed dorms because they offer more opportunities to hang out with members of the opposite sex and fewer restrictions on having guests of the opposite sex visit, whether they’re friends or significant others. Some students don’t really care one way or the other. But if co-ed living isn’t for you, that’s okay too.
Plenty of students simply feel more at ease in single-sex dorms. Some students hold religious or moral beliefs about men and women living together. (And some colleges, often those affiliated with a religion, take a stance against co-ed dorms anyway.) It’s all relative, and that’s why most colleges offer a variety of housing options. At the end of the day, you’re going to find friendships and parties, study spaces and places to chill, in any dorm, co-ed or not.
https://t.me/MkNotes/865
https://www.collegexpress.com/articles-and-advice/student-life/articles/living-campus/co-ed-dorms-sleeping-together/
Colleges in the United States started having co-ed residence halls back in the 1970s, and today, about 90% of all schools have at least one co-ed dorm building. Co-ed dorms (meaning the buildings, not the individual rooms) may still separate genders, often by floors or “wings.” But many colleges just mix things up, with female and male roommates living next door or across the hall from each other. In any case, there’s a good chance you’ll run into the opposite sex while you’re in your jammies—and possibly while you’re in the public restrooms.
Also, though most shared dorm rooms are still single sex, more than 150 colleges, including Brown University, Stanford University, The University of Pennsylvania, Oberlin College, Clark University, and the California Institute of Technology, now allow some or all students to share a room with anyone they choose—and we mean anyone. These co-ed dorm rooms are typically called “gender-neutral housing.”
ON THE SUBJECT OF BATHROOMS, which are often students’ biggest concern about co-ed living: co-ed dorm bathroom policies also vary, so it’s important to check with your college to see what’s up. For example, UC Riverside’s co-ed dorms have gender-specific restrooms and showers, but at MIT, the bathrooms are co-ed too. In co-ed bathrooms, the showers have curtains and bathroom stalls have doors (just like in single-sex bathrooms), but you’ll still find yourself in close proximity to someone of the opposite sex. And, yes, you both might be naked. But unless one of you chooses to strut around in your birthday suit, you’re not going to see anyone’s nakedness.
Beyond bathrooms, co-ed dorms are pretty much like any other dorms, except, you know, co-ed. There are often communal spaces to hang out, cook, and/or study. RAs plan events. You’ll go through some sort of security checkpoint to get in. And you’ll probably need to sign in any guests if you have them (though co-ed dorms may be more lax about guests of the opposite sex and curfews).
Gender-neutral and co-ed rooms can also be important to members of the LGBTQ community. Some gay students feel more comfortable rooming with someone of the opposite sex. And students who identify as trans- or non-gender-binary appreciate dorms where they feel welcome as a person.
MANY STUDENTS SAY IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH BROTHERS AND SISTERS. Sure, a little awkward at first, but you get used to it. Hanging out with your dorm friends (no matter their gender) is tons of fun, but the day-to-day living is actually kind of boring. Yup, everybody showers. Everybody looks a little worn out in the mornings. And everybody poops.
I lived in a co-ed dorm freshman year of college, and honestly, it wasn’t a big deal. I shared a cozy little room with another female student, and we had two boys living next door. We didn’t even see them that often. Some people got dressed in the communal bathroom after they showered, and some just walked to and from their room in robes or towels. Either way is a little nerve-wracking at first, but, again, you get used to it. Some students prefer co-ed dorms because they offer more opportunities to hang out with members of the opposite sex and fewer restrictions on having guests of the opposite sex visit, whether they’re friends or significant others. Some students don’t really care one way or the other. But if co-ed living isn’t for you, that’s okay too.
Plenty of students simply feel more at ease in single-sex dorms. Some students hold religious or moral beliefs about men and women living together. (And some colleges, often those affiliated with a religion, take a stance against co-ed dorms anyway.) It’s all relative, and that’s why most colleges offer a variety of housing options. At the end of the day, you’re going to find friendships and parties, study spaces and places to chill, in any dorm, co-ed or not.
https://t.me/MkNotes/865
https://www.collegexpress.com/articles-and-advice/student-life/articles/living-campus/co-ed-dorms-sleeping-together/
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CO-ED DORMS: SLEEPING TOGETHER, by Jessica Tomer
Colleges in the United States started having co-ed residence halls back in the 1970s, and today, about 90% of all schools have at least one co-ed dorm building. Co-ed dorms (meaning the buildings, not the…
Colleges in the United States started having co-ed residence halls back in the 1970s, and today, about 90% of all schools have at least one co-ed dorm building. Co-ed dorms (meaning the buildings, not the…
A CARROT, AN EGG, AND A CUP OF COFFEE...
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying A word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
May We All Be COFFEE!!!!!!!!
https://t.me/MkNotes/868
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying A word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.
Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see." "Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
May We All Be COFFEE!!!!!!!!
https://t.me/MkNotes/868
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A CARROT, AN EGG, AND A CUP OF COFFEE...
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted…
You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted…
I PROMISE MYSELF
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.
https://t.me/MkNotes/869
Christian D. Larson, http://christianlarson.wwwhubs.com/
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny side of everything and make my optimism come true.
To think only of the best, to work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature I meet.
To give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others.
To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
To think well of myself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud words, but in great deeds.
To live in the faith that the whole world is on my side, so long as I am true to the best that is in me.
https://t.me/MkNotes/869
Christian D. Larson, http://christianlarson.wwwhubs.com/
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I P R O M I S E M Y S E L F
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny…
To be so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.
To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person I meet.
To make all my friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.
To look at the sunny…
BRIGHT FUTURE WITH IRAN'S CURRENT LEADERS
US President Donald Trump made his most definitive statement to date that he's not looking to oust Iran's clerical leadership, instead insisting THE COUNTRY COULD HAVE A BRIGHT FUTURE WITH ITS CURRENT LEADERS.
https://edition.cnn.com/politics/live-news/trump-visits-japan-may-2019/index.html
US President Donald Trump made his most definitive statement to date that he's not looking to oust Iran's clerical leadership, instead insisting THE COUNTRY COULD HAVE A BRIGHT FUTURE WITH ITS CURRENT LEADERS.
https://edition.cnn.com/politics/live-news/trump-visits-japan-may-2019/index.html
CNN
Live updates: President Trump meets Abe in Japan - CNNPolitics
President Trump and first lady Melania Trump will pay a visit to Japan, becoming the country's new emperor first official foreign guest. Follow the latest here.
CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of either
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward
to the trip
OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
FATHER: A banker provided by nature
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
POLITICIAN: One who shakes your Hand before elections and your Confidence later
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills !!
MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students
without passing through the minds of either
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward
to the trip
OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
FATHER: A banker provided by nature
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early
POLITICIAN: One who shakes your Hand before elections and your Confidence later
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills !!
👍1
ABCNews
President Trump ordered military strike on Iran, but reversed at last second: Sources
Jun 20, 2019
President Trumps summoned congressional leaders to the White House Situation Room for a high stakes military and intelligence briefing on Iran.
President Donald Trump ordered a military strike on Iran late Thursday, but reversed his decision after a plan was already underway, according to sources familiar with the matter.
The sources tell ABC News the president’s reason for changing course was unclear, but the reversal was against the advice of Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and National Security Adviser John Bolton.
The plan and reversal was first reportedby The New York Times.
A senior level administration source briefed on the plan says it would have escalated the situation quickly had it been carried out. Officials feared the attack could have caused hundreds of civilian casualties.
Iran shot down a U.S. drone early Thursday, claiming it had flown into the country's airspace. The U.S. government claims it was operating in international airspace.
Trump called Iran's decision to shoot down the drone "loose and stupid" when speaking to the press following a discussion with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. The comments came following a morning meeting with his top national security advisers over the downing of what the U.S. military said was an unarmed and unmanned U.S. RQ-4A Global Hawk drone flying over the Gulf of Oman near the Strait of Hormuz.
Shortly before, Trump had tweeted that "Iran made a very big mistake" after a top Iranian commander warned Iran was "ready for war."
Top politicians from the Senate and House, including House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, met with administration officials over the downed drone Thursday afternoon.
"The president may not intend to go to war here, but we're worried that he and the administration may bumble into a war," Schumer said.
President Donald Trump listens to a question during a meeting with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in the Oval Office of the White House, Thursday, June 20, 2019, in Washington.
Pelosi called it a "dangerous situation" and cautioned the president that the U.S. "cannot be reckless in what we do."
Gen. Hossein Salami, commander of Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, offered a strongly worded threat to the U.S. after the drone was downed. "Shooting down the American spy drone had a clear, decisive, firm and accurate message," he said, translated from Farsi. "The message is that the guardians of the borders of Islamic Iran will decisively respond to the violation of any stranger to this land. The only solution for the enemies is to respect the territorial integrity and national interests of Iran."
https://abcnews.go.com/amp/Politics/president-trump-ordered-military-strike-iran-reversed-sources/story?id=63853570
President Trump ordered military strike on Iran, but reversed at last second: Sources
Jun 20, 2019
President Trumps summoned congressional leaders to the White House Situation Room for a high stakes military and intelligence briefing on Iran.
President Donald Trump ordered a military strike on Iran late Thursday, but reversed his decision after a plan was already underway, according to sources familiar with the matter.
The sources tell ABC News the president’s reason for changing course was unclear, but the reversal was against the advice of Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and National Security Adviser John Bolton.
The plan and reversal was first reportedby The New York Times.
A senior level administration source briefed on the plan says it would have escalated the situation quickly had it been carried out. Officials feared the attack could have caused hundreds of civilian casualties.
Iran shot down a U.S. drone early Thursday, claiming it had flown into the country's airspace. The U.S. government claims it was operating in international airspace.
Trump called Iran's decision to shoot down the drone "loose and stupid" when speaking to the press following a discussion with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. The comments came following a morning meeting with his top national security advisers over the downing of what the U.S. military said was an unarmed and unmanned U.S. RQ-4A Global Hawk drone flying over the Gulf of Oman near the Strait of Hormuz.
Shortly before, Trump had tweeted that "Iran made a very big mistake" after a top Iranian commander warned Iran was "ready for war."
Top politicians from the Senate and House, including House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, met with administration officials over the downed drone Thursday afternoon.
"The president may not intend to go to war here, but we're worried that he and the administration may bumble into a war," Schumer said.
President Donald Trump listens to a question during a meeting with Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau in the Oval Office of the White House, Thursday, June 20, 2019, in Washington.
Pelosi called it a "dangerous situation" and cautioned the president that the U.S. "cannot be reckless in what we do."
Gen. Hossein Salami, commander of Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps, offered a strongly worded threat to the U.S. after the drone was downed. "Shooting down the American spy drone had a clear, decisive, firm and accurate message," he said, translated from Farsi. "The message is that the guardians of the borders of Islamic Iran will decisively respond to the violation of any stranger to this land. The only solution for the enemies is to respect the territorial integrity and national interests of Iran."
https://abcnews.go.com/amp/Politics/president-trump-ordered-military-strike-iran-reversed-sources/story?id=63853570
ABC News
Trump says he stopped Iran strike with 10 minutes to go, concerned about casualties
President Donald Trump tweeted on Friday that he stopped a military strike on Iran on Thursday with just 10 minutes to go because he was concerned about casualties.
How to Become an Adult
It should be obvious, of course. We’re grown ups now. We’re physically mature, we have a job, can drive a car, use the internet at will and stay up very late.
But such objective markers of adulthood have a habit of failing to reflect our underlying psychological realities. Our development as true adults may lag many decades behind any official date of maturity. In the way our emotions operate, out of the reach of conscious awareness, with nothing derogatory being meant by this, most of us continue to function rather like the small children we once were.
Around characters who look authoritative or are senior to us we might – for example – habitually become passive and hugely timid. We may imbue them with unwarranted authority and expect them to know all the answers. The idea of contradicting them can feel utterly out of the question.
Or perhaps, in other contexts, we may experience an intense guilt around our sexuality, feeling an exaggerated need to exhibit signs of purity and goodness – as if our uninhibited bodily selves would necessarily provoke disgust and disappointment. Or, rather than explain what is bothering us, we may settle for rage or sulks, the two traditional moves to which very small people have recourse.
It can take an immensely long-time to realise emotionally, rather than merely intellectually, that the scripts we are following were formed many years before in circumstances that no longer apply; that the small corner of world we grew up in as children does not reflect how the wider world operates or what it really demands – and that the repertoire of responses we learnt for dealing with the authority figures of childhood doesn’t have to continue to define how we relate to humanity in general. We may have been defined as ‘the quiet one’, or ‘the rebel’, the ‘victim’ or the ‘strong one’ but such labels don’t have to continue to determine our identities.
It can take so long for us to realise we are free. We wait for years for permission to leave an unsatisfactory job that no one cares if we abandoned tomorrow; we live in terror that we will disappoint ‘public opinion’ on to which we have projected the expectations of parents who are no longer alive. We wait for praise from ‘those that know’, even though there aren’t really any such people. We are terrified of unleashing an anger that we would now be able to walk away from.
Becoming an emotional adult means learning to lean on a much wider repertoire of behaviours towards other people. Someone in authority can be mistaken; we can annoy someone and survive; sex doesn’t have to prove revolting; we can calmly state what has hurt us and be heard.
We start on the path to genuine adulthood when we stop insisting on our emotional competence and acknowledge the extent to which we are – in many areas of our psyche – likely to be sharply trailing our biological age. Realising we aren’t – as yet, in subtle ways – quite adults may be the start of true maturity.
https://t.me/MkNotes/878
www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-to-become-an-adult/?utm_source=The+School+of+Life&utm_campaign=403acca966-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_06_21_11_28&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_717e06d46b-403acca966-22277669&mc_cid=403acca966&mc_eid=62fb72e0b8
It should be obvious, of course. We’re grown ups now. We’re physically mature, we have a job, can drive a car, use the internet at will and stay up very late.
But such objective markers of adulthood have a habit of failing to reflect our underlying psychological realities. Our development as true adults may lag many decades behind any official date of maturity. In the way our emotions operate, out of the reach of conscious awareness, with nothing derogatory being meant by this, most of us continue to function rather like the small children we once were.
Around characters who look authoritative or are senior to us we might – for example – habitually become passive and hugely timid. We may imbue them with unwarranted authority and expect them to know all the answers. The idea of contradicting them can feel utterly out of the question.
Or perhaps, in other contexts, we may experience an intense guilt around our sexuality, feeling an exaggerated need to exhibit signs of purity and goodness – as if our uninhibited bodily selves would necessarily provoke disgust and disappointment. Or, rather than explain what is bothering us, we may settle for rage or sulks, the two traditional moves to which very small people have recourse.
It can take an immensely long-time to realise emotionally, rather than merely intellectually, that the scripts we are following were formed many years before in circumstances that no longer apply; that the small corner of world we grew up in as children does not reflect how the wider world operates or what it really demands – and that the repertoire of responses we learnt for dealing with the authority figures of childhood doesn’t have to continue to define how we relate to humanity in general. We may have been defined as ‘the quiet one’, or ‘the rebel’, the ‘victim’ or the ‘strong one’ but such labels don’t have to continue to determine our identities.
It can take so long for us to realise we are free. We wait for years for permission to leave an unsatisfactory job that no one cares if we abandoned tomorrow; we live in terror that we will disappoint ‘public opinion’ on to which we have projected the expectations of parents who are no longer alive. We wait for praise from ‘those that know’, even though there aren’t really any such people. We are terrified of unleashing an anger that we would now be able to walk away from.
Becoming an emotional adult means learning to lean on a much wider repertoire of behaviours towards other people. Someone in authority can be mistaken; we can annoy someone and survive; sex doesn’t have to prove revolting; we can calmly state what has hurt us and be heard.
We start on the path to genuine adulthood when we stop insisting on our emotional competence and acknowledge the extent to which we are – in many areas of our psyche – likely to be sharply trailing our biological age. Realising we aren’t – as yet, in subtle ways – quite adults may be the start of true maturity.
https://t.me/MkNotes/878
www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/how-to-become-an-adult/?utm_source=The+School+of+Life&utm_campaign=403acca966-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2019_06_21_11_28&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_717e06d46b-403acca966-22277669&mc_cid=403acca966&mc_eid=62fb72e0b8
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How to Become an Adult
It should be obvious, of course. We’re grown ups now. We’re physically mature, we have a job, can drive a car, use the internet at will and stay up very late.
But such objective markers of adulthood have a habit of failing to reflect…
It should be obvious, of course. We’re grown ups now. We’re physically mature, we have a job, can drive a car, use the internet at will and stay up very late.
But such objective markers of adulthood have a habit of failing to reflect…
Why You Need to Grow Up
Children know what grown ups look like - they’re the big ones who drive cars, don’t go to school and get to stay up well past bedtime. Once we’re older - once we have jobs, own cars, and can go to bed whenever we choose - it’s only natural to conclude that we’ve become grown ups ourselves.
But the assumptions about maturity we carry from childhood obscure a deeper truth: how in many ways, despite the lateness of our bedtime, we remain, fundamentally, children.
We probably still accept without question the authority of our bosses and seniors as we once did that of our parents. We’re probably still ashamed of our sexuality and our temptations to be naughty. And when we’re upset, we’re still liable to rage and sulk rather than calmly address what’s really bothering us.
We need to grow up emotionally - a process that begins by accepting all the ways in which we’re still immature.
https://t.me/MkNotes/879
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
https://mailchi.mp/theschooloflife/why-you-need-to-grow-up?e=62fb72e0b8
Children know what grown ups look like - they’re the big ones who drive cars, don’t go to school and get to stay up well past bedtime. Once we’re older - once we have jobs, own cars, and can go to bed whenever we choose - it’s only natural to conclude that we’ve become grown ups ourselves.
But the assumptions about maturity we carry from childhood obscure a deeper truth: how in many ways, despite the lateness of our bedtime, we remain, fundamentally, children.
We probably still accept without question the authority of our bosses and seniors as we once did that of our parents. We’re probably still ashamed of our sexuality and our temptations to be naughty. And when we’re upset, we’re still liable to rage and sulk rather than calmly address what’s really bothering us.
We need to grow up emotionally - a process that begins by accepting all the ways in which we’re still immature.
https://t.me/MkNotes/879
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
https://mailchi.mp/theschooloflife/why-you-need-to-grow-up?e=62fb72e0b8
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MkNotes
Why You Need to Grow Up
Children know what grown ups look like - they’re the big ones who drive cars, don’t go to school and get to stay up well past bedtime. Once we’re older - once we have jobs, own cars, and can go to bed whenever we choose - it’s only…
Children know what grown ups look like - they’re the big ones who drive cars, don’t go to school and get to stay up well past bedtime. Once we’re older - once we have jobs, own cars, and can go to bed whenever we choose - it’s only…
Why Trump Decided Not to Attack Iran – Foreign Policy
https://foreignpolicy.com/2019/06/21/trump-fearing-casualties-aborts-iran-strike-at-last-minute/?utm_source=PostUp&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=13791&utm_term=Editor#39;s Picks OC
https://foreignpolicy.com/2019/06/21/trump-fearing-casualties-aborts-iran-strike-at-last-minute/?utm_source=PostUp&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=13791&utm_term=Editor#39;s Picks OC
Foreign Policy
Why Trump Decided Not to Attack Iran
Trump's hardline approach to Iran hits up against Trump's push to end costly Middle East conflicts
Classic short stories that introduce American literature to intermediate English learners.
My First Selection,
O Henry.
1. 'Hearts and Crosses,' by O. Henry, Part One
2. The Caliph, Cupid and the Clock by O. Henry
3. 'Mammon and the Archer' by O. Henry
4. 'One Thousand Dollars,' by O. Henry
5. 'The Gift of the Magi,' by O. Henry
6. Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen by O. Henry
7. The Furnished Room by O. Henry
8. A Retrieved Reformation by O. Henry
9. 'After Twenty Years,' by O.Henry
t.me/MkNotes/343
10. 'Transients in Arcadia' by O. Henry
11. 'From the Cabby's Seat,' by O. Henry
12. 'The Romance of a Busy Broker' by O. Henry
13. 'The Count and the Wedding Guest' by O. Henry
14. 'The Cop and the Anthem,' by O. Henry
15. 'The Exact Science of Matrimony' by O. Henry
16. 'The Ransom of Red Chief,' by O. Henry
17. A Municipal Report by O. Henry
learningenglish.voanews.com/z/1581
My First Selection,
O Henry.
1. 'Hearts and Crosses,' by O. Henry, Part One
2. The Caliph, Cupid and the Clock by O. Henry
3. 'Mammon and the Archer' by O. Henry
4. 'One Thousand Dollars,' by O. Henry
5. 'The Gift of the Magi,' by O. Henry
6. Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen by O. Henry
7. The Furnished Room by O. Henry
8. A Retrieved Reformation by O. Henry
9. 'After Twenty Years,' by O.Henry
t.me/MkNotes/343
10. 'Transients in Arcadia' by O. Henry
11. 'From the Cabby's Seat,' by O. Henry
12. 'The Romance of a Busy Broker' by O. Henry
13. 'The Count and the Wedding Guest' by O. Henry
14. 'The Cop and the Anthem,' by O. Henry
15. 'The Exact Science of Matrimony' by O. Henry
16. 'The Ransom of Red Chief,' by O. Henry
17. A Municipal Report by O. Henry
learningenglish.voanews.com/z/1581
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O Henry, After Twenty Years
#OHenry #After #Twenty #Years
https://t.me/MkNotes/343
#OHenry #After #Twenty #Years
https://t.me/MkNotes/343
THE ILLUSION OF CONFIDENCE
IT IS REASONABLE FOR US TO EMBRACE TENTATIVENESS AND MODESTY AS NOBLE CHARACTERISTICS, OR STRENGTHS OF CHARACTER, MUCH LIKE POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY NOW RECOMMENDS, AND THUS WELCOME BACK THE UNCERTAIN PHRASE, “I ’M N O T S U R E”.
***********
“Be confident” is one of the most essential pieces of advice you will receive from parents and other well-meaning individuals….
Be confident” is one of the most essential pieces of advice you will receive from parents and other well-meaning individuals. Confidence is hailed as a characteristic of a great leader. I cannot remember how many times, I have had to train myself on confidence and poise.
However, I am interested in humans who aren’t confident. Those who have read everything they could find on the topic, attended several training events but still secretly struggle. I find that when I want it so bad, I cannot be still. My lips and hands will gain a mind of their own, moving without any effort. Sometimes my eyes refuse to cooperate, quickly sinking into riotous blinks. As soon as my alert mind declares that this is important, my whole being starts vibrating to imaginary native music that only an actual appearance by Osayomore Joseph, the famous Bini musician would calm.
Teachers and Speakers need to appear confident lest a student think, we are not sure of what we are saying. The need to create the illusion of confidence is borne out of our perfectionist culture. My father has a favourite quote which says “life is for the firsts not the also rans”. He said it often enough to make me want to come first in everything including speaking about causes I am passionate about. However, research has shown that confidence is not a good indicator of ability. Cognitive scientists, Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons suggests that
IT IS REASONABLE FOR US TO EMBRACE TENTATIVENESS AND MODESTY AS NOBLE CHARACTERISTICS, OR STRENGTHS OF CHARACTER, MUCH LIKE POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY NOW RECOMMENDS, AND THUS WELCOME BACK THE UNCERTAIN PHRASE,
“I’M NOT SURE”.
Pray tell, would we have tolerated the likes of the English theoretical physicist, Stephen Hawking?
ARE OUR LEADERS INCLUDING THE RELIGIOUS FOLKS ALLOWED TO SHOW TRUE HUMAN EMOTIONS? CAN OUR TEACHERS STUTTER SOMETIMES? DO OUR KIDS ALWAYS HAVE TO COME FIRST IN CLASS TO BE VALUABLE?
DO NOT LET ANYTHING STOP YOU FROM REACHING YOUR TRUEST POTENTIAL INCLUDING YOUR INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE LIKE THOSE ON TELEVISION. YOU CAN LEARN AS YOU GROW BUT BY ALL MEANS START YOUR JOURNEY. WE CANNOT ALL BE FLAWLESS SPEAKERS BUT WE CAN CHANNEL OUR HEARTS TO THE CORE OF OUR MESSAGE. USUALLY, TO TRANSFORM HUMANITY ALL YOU NEED IS A CONVICTION IN YOURSELF THAT YOU CAN BRING ABOUT POSITIVE CHANGE IN YOUR GENERATION. THAT IS CONFIDENCE AS DEFINED BY YOUR INNER LOCUS OF UNDERSTANDING. THIS WILL TAKE YOU AS FAR AS YOU NEED TO GO. NOW THAT YOU KNOW YOU CAN. START!
https://www.motivatingafrica.com/personal-development/the-illusion-of-confidence
https://t.me/MkNotes/885
IT IS REASONABLE FOR US TO EMBRACE TENTATIVENESS AND MODESTY AS NOBLE CHARACTERISTICS, OR STRENGTHS OF CHARACTER, MUCH LIKE POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY NOW RECOMMENDS, AND THUS WELCOME BACK THE UNCERTAIN PHRASE, “I ’M N O T S U R E”.
***********
“Be confident” is one of the most essential pieces of advice you will receive from parents and other well-meaning individuals….
Be confident” is one of the most essential pieces of advice you will receive from parents and other well-meaning individuals. Confidence is hailed as a characteristic of a great leader. I cannot remember how many times, I have had to train myself on confidence and poise.
However, I am interested in humans who aren’t confident. Those who have read everything they could find on the topic, attended several training events but still secretly struggle. I find that when I want it so bad, I cannot be still. My lips and hands will gain a mind of their own, moving without any effort. Sometimes my eyes refuse to cooperate, quickly sinking into riotous blinks. As soon as my alert mind declares that this is important, my whole being starts vibrating to imaginary native music that only an actual appearance by Osayomore Joseph, the famous Bini musician would calm.
Teachers and Speakers need to appear confident lest a student think, we are not sure of what we are saying. The need to create the illusion of confidence is borne out of our perfectionist culture. My father has a favourite quote which says “life is for the firsts not the also rans”. He said it often enough to make me want to come first in everything including speaking about causes I am passionate about. However, research has shown that confidence is not a good indicator of ability. Cognitive scientists, Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons suggests that
IT IS REASONABLE FOR US TO EMBRACE TENTATIVENESS AND MODESTY AS NOBLE CHARACTERISTICS, OR STRENGTHS OF CHARACTER, MUCH LIKE POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY NOW RECOMMENDS, AND THUS WELCOME BACK THE UNCERTAIN PHRASE,
“I’M NOT SURE”.
Pray tell, would we have tolerated the likes of the English theoretical physicist, Stephen Hawking?
ARE OUR LEADERS INCLUDING THE RELIGIOUS FOLKS ALLOWED TO SHOW TRUE HUMAN EMOTIONS? CAN OUR TEACHERS STUTTER SOMETIMES? DO OUR KIDS ALWAYS HAVE TO COME FIRST IN CLASS TO BE VALUABLE?
DO NOT LET ANYTHING STOP YOU FROM REACHING YOUR TRUEST POTENTIAL INCLUDING YOUR INABILITY TO COMMUNICATE LIKE THOSE ON TELEVISION. YOU CAN LEARN AS YOU GROW BUT BY ALL MEANS START YOUR JOURNEY. WE CANNOT ALL BE FLAWLESS SPEAKERS BUT WE CAN CHANNEL OUR HEARTS TO THE CORE OF OUR MESSAGE. USUALLY, TO TRANSFORM HUMANITY ALL YOU NEED IS A CONVICTION IN YOURSELF THAT YOU CAN BRING ABOUT POSITIVE CHANGE IN YOUR GENERATION. THAT IS CONFIDENCE AS DEFINED BY YOUR INNER LOCUS OF UNDERSTANDING. THIS WILL TAKE YOU AS FAR AS YOU NEED TO GO. NOW THAT YOU KNOW YOU CAN. START!
https://www.motivatingafrica.com/personal-development/the-illusion-of-confidence
https://t.me/MkNotes/885
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THE ILLUSION OF CONFIDENCE
IT IS REASONABLE FOR US TO EMBRACE TENTATIVENESS AND MODESTY AS NOBLE CHARACTERISTICS, OR STRENGTHS OF CHARACTER, MUCH LIKE POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY NOW RECOMMENDS, AND THUS WELCOME BACK THE UNCERTAIN PHRASE, “I ’M N O T S U R E”.…
IT IS REASONABLE FOR US TO EMBRACE TENTATIVENESS AND MODESTY AS NOBLE CHARACTERISTICS, OR STRENGTHS OF CHARACTER, MUCH LIKE POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY NOW RECOMMENDS, AND THUS WELCOME BACK THE UNCERTAIN PHRASE, “I ’M N O T S U R E”.…
Overconfidence can cause a person to experience problems because he may not prepare properly for a situation or may get into a dangerous situation that he is not equipped to handle. Some examples of overconfidence include: A person who thinks his sense of direction is much better than it actually is.
https://t.me/MkNotes/886
https://t.me/MkNotes/886
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Overconfidence can cause a person to experience problems because he may not prepare properly for a situation or may get into a dangerous situation that he is not equipped to handle. Some examples of overconfidence include: A person who thinks his sense of…