monk = a religious man who spends much time praying and thinking about religion.
monastery = a place where monks live.
a vow of silence = a promise not to speak
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
https://t.me/MkNotes/717
monastery = a place where monks live.
a vow of silence = a promise not to speak
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The head monk said, "You must take a vow of silence and can only say two words every three years." The man agreed and after the first 3 years, the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "Food cold!" the man replied. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said "What are your two words?" "Robe dirty!" the man exclaimed. Three more years went by and the head monk came to him and said, "What are your two words?" "I quit!" said the man. "Well," the head monk replied, "I am not surprised. You have done nothing but complain ever since you got here!"
https://t.me/MkNotes/717
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monk = a religious man who spends much time praying and thinking about religion.
monastery = a place where monks live.
a vow of silence = a promise not to speak
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The…
monastery = a place where monks live.
a vow of silence = a promise not to speak
A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. The…
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Write On...
Put Your Mind into Writing...
Give your comments on the passages in ILI Advanced Books.
E.g. questions, ideas, further reading, links, disagreements, and so on.
You may also comment on the topics which were discussed in class.
Here are the original sources of some of the passages:
http://adrd123.blogspot.com/
Put Your Mind into Writing...
Give your comments on the passages in ILI Advanced Books.
E.g. questions, ideas, further reading, links, disagreements, and so on.
You may also comment on the topics which were discussed in class.
Here are the original sources of some of the passages:
http://adrd123.blogspot.com/
👍1
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.
10 year old little Johnny opens the door, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
https://t.me/MkNotes/721
10 year old little Johnny opens the door, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
https://t.me/MkNotes/721
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MkNotes
A traveling salesman rings this doorbell.
10 year old little Johnny opens the door, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
ht…
10 year old little Johnny opens the door, holding a beer and smoking a fat cigar.
The salesman says, "Little boy is your mother home?"
Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think?"
ht…
How Sophia the robot copies human facial expressions - CNN Style
https://www.cnn.com/style/article/sophia-robot-artificial-intelligence-smart-creativity/index.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fedition_world+%28RSS%3A+CNNi+-+World%29
https://www.cnn.com/style/article/sophia-robot-artificial-intelligence-smart-creativity/index.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+rss%2Fedition_world+%28RSS%3A+CNNi+-+World%29
CNN
Meet Sophia: The robot who smiles and frowns just like us | CNN
New technologies have enabled Sophia, a robot developed by Hanson Robotics, to generate an astounding number of human-like facial expressions.
Maz Jobrani: humanizing immigrants through comedy - CNN
https://edition-m.cnn.com/2018/11/13/middleeast/maz-jobrani-immigration-and-comedy/index.html
https://edition-m.cnn.com/2018/11/13/middleeast/maz-jobrani-immigration-and-comedy/index.html
CNN
Maz Jobrani: 'immigrant' can be a good word
The Iranian-American comedian goes beyond the laughs to explore how his experiences as an immigrant shape his world view -- and his jokes.
Man O Man
When without money, eats wild vegetables at home
When has money, eats same wild vegetables in fine restaurant.
When without money, rides bicycle;
When has money, rides exercise machine.
When without money, walks to earn food
When has money, walks to lose the fat
Man O Man! never fails to deceive thyself!
When without money, wishes to get married;
When has money, wishes to get divorced.
When without money, wife becomes secretary;
When has money, secretary becomes wife.
When without money, acts like rich man;
When has money, acts like poor man.
Man, O Man, never can tell the simple truth!
Says share market is bad but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil but keeps accumulating.
Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.
Man O Man ! Never means what he says and never says what he means!
https://t.me/MkNotes/725
When without money, eats wild vegetables at home
When has money, eats same wild vegetables in fine restaurant.
When without money, rides bicycle;
When has money, rides exercise machine.
When without money, walks to earn food
When has money, walks to lose the fat
Man O Man! never fails to deceive thyself!
When without money, wishes to get married;
When has money, wishes to get divorced.
When without money, wife becomes secretary;
When has money, secretary becomes wife.
When without money, acts like rich man;
When has money, acts like poor man.
Man, O Man, never can tell the simple truth!
Says share market is bad but keeps speculating;
Says money is evil but keeps accumulating.
Says high positions are lonely but keeps wanting them.
Man O Man ! Never means what he says and never says what he means!
https://t.me/MkNotes/725
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Man O Man
When without money, eats wild vegetables at home
When has money, eats same wild vegetables in fine restaurant.
When without money, rides bicycle;
When has money, rides exercise machine.
When without money, walks to earn food
When has money…
When without money, eats wild vegetables at home
When has money, eats same wild vegetables in fine restaurant.
When without money, rides bicycle;
When has money, rides exercise machine.
When without money, walks to earn food
When has money…
Moods of a Woman:
An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
a woman is a bundle of contradiction,
she's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
but will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
she'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
she'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
she'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk,
at times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
she'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.
Moods of a Man: Horny Hungry Thirsty Sleepy
https://t.me/MkNotes/726
An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
a woman is a bundle of contradiction,
she's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
but will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
she'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose,
she'll win you in rage, enchant you in silk,
she'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk,
at times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
she'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad.
Moods of a Man: Horny Hungry Thirsty Sleepy
https://t.me/MkNotes/726
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Moods of a Woman:
An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
a woman is a bundle of contradiction,
she's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
but will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
she'll kiss you one…
An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
a woman is a bundle of contradiction,
she's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse,
but will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
she'll kiss you one…
Travel Risk Map 2019: Iran as safe as the UK and Slovenia, Denmark and Switzerland among world's least dangerous countries | The Independent
https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/travel-risk-map-2019-worlds-safest-dangerous-countries-to-visit-iran-uk-slovenia-denmark-a8644646.html?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR2vodTeSHQOFnO6tto82I6jokWfchgYRX-B4s7ysrPqAMEDWlJ1uzoFB5s#Echobox=1542835064
https://www.independent.co.uk/travel/news-and-advice/travel-risk-map-2019-worlds-safest-dangerous-countries-to-visit-iran-uk-slovenia-denmark-a8644646.html?utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Facebook&fbclid=IwAR2vodTeSHQOFnO6tto82I6jokWfchgYRX-B4s7ysrPqAMEDWlJ1uzoFB5s#Echobox=1542835064
The Independent
These are the most dangerous countries to travel to in 2019
Iran is as safe as the UK when it comes to security, according to a new interactive map showing the risk level around the world.
A man and his wife were sitting at a table at her high school Reunion, and the wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his Drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
The man asked the wife, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he Hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" the man said, "Who would think a person could go on Celebrating that long?"
https://t.me/MkNotes/730
The man asked the wife, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he Hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" the man said, "Who would think a person could go on Celebrating that long?"
https://t.me/MkNotes/730
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MkNotes
A man and his wife were sitting at a table at her high school Reunion, and the wife kept staring at a drunken man swigging his Drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
The man asked the wife, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I…
The man asked the wife, "Do you know him?"
"Yes", she sighed,
"He's my old boyfriend. I…
When the English settlers landed in Australia, they noticed a strange animal that jumped extremely high and far. They asked the aboriginal people using body language and signs trying to ask them about this animal. They responded with “Kan Ghu Ru” the English then adopted the word kangaroo. What the aboriginal people were really trying to say was: “we don’t understand you”, “ Kan Ghu Ru”.
https://t.me/MkNotes/735
https://t.me/MkNotes/735
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When the English settlers landed in Australia, they noticed a strange animal that jumped extremely high and far. They asked the aboriginal people using body language and signs trying to ask them about this animal. They responded with “Kan Ghu Ru” the…
A statue in a park with a soldier on a horse with its 2 feet in the air
means the soldier died in combat.
If the horse has only 1 foot in the air, the soldier died of injuries from combat.
If the horse has all 4 feet on the ground, the soldier died of natural causes.
https://t.me/MkNotes/737
means the soldier died in combat.
If the horse has only 1 foot in the air, the soldier died of injuries from combat.
If the horse has all 4 feet on the ground, the soldier died of natural causes.
https://t.me/MkNotes/737
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Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning", let alone any "Happy Birthday." I thought, "Well, that's wives for you. The children will remember. "The children came down to breakfast and didn't say a word.
When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday." I felt a little better. Someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know it is such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go.
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it is such a beautiful day, we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable. Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. They were all singing Happy Birthday.......and there I sat on the couch.......naked
https://t.me/MkNotes/738
When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, "Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday." I felt a little better. Someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, "You know it is such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, let's go to lunch, just you and me." I said, "By George, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go.
We went to lunch. We didn't go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, "You know, it is such a beautiful day, we don't need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, "No, I guess not." She said, "Let's go to my apartment."
After arriving at her apartment she said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I think I'll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable. Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. They were all singing Happy Birthday.......and there I sat on the couch.......naked
https://t.me/MkNotes/738
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Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn't feeling too hot that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say "Happy Birthday" and probably have a present for me. She didn't even say "Good Morning", let alone any "Happy…
After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent him on his way with a tidy gift envelope.
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!
When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
'All of this was just too wonderful for words', he said; 'But what's the dollar for'?
'Well', she said, 'last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said; 'Screw him. Give him a dollar'. 'The breakfast was my idea!!'
https://t.me/MkNotes/739
At the second house, they presented him with a box of fine cigars.
The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door and up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced!
When he had enough, they went downstairs where she fixed him a giant breakfast; eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice.
When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee. As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge.
'All of this was just too wonderful for words', he said; 'But what's the dollar for'?
'Well', she said, 'last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you, and he said; 'Screw him. Give him a dollar'. 'The breakfast was my idea!!'
https://t.me/MkNotes/739
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After 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighborhood, the mailman was going to retire. When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by the whole family who roundly and soundly congratulated him and sent…
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* it will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples
and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a
wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Concrete floors are very hard to crack.
https://t.me/MkNotes/740
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* it will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples
and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a
wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Concrete floors are very hard to crack.
https://t.me/MkNotes/740
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MkNotes
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q5. What is the…
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q5. What is the…