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A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mens room door, it was "OCCUPIED".
The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.
The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR".
Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".
Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters.
He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR".
When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"
The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the 'ATR' button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!"
https://t.me/MkNotes/376
The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.
The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR".
Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".
Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters.
He thought that was out of this world! The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear. Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR".
When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse. When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"
The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the 'ATR' button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your penis is under your pillow!"
https://t.me/MkNotes/376
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A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the mens room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the mens room door, it was "OCCUPIED".
The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and…
The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and…
Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"
The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in."
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, "Were you the one being robbed?"
The man casually replies, "No, I committed the robbery."
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. "So you're telling me you were speeding...AND committed a robbery?"
"Yes," the man calmly says. "I have the loot in the back."
The cop begins to get angry. "Sir, I'm afraid you have to come with me." The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.
"Don't do that!" the man yells fearfully. "I'm scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!" The cop pulls his hand out. "Wait here," he says.
The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car."
The man replies, "Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!"
#Speediing
https://t.me/MkNotes/377
The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I got involved in."
The cop gives him a skeptical look and says, "Were you the one being robbed?"
The man casually replies, "No, I committed the robbery."
The cop looks shocked that the man admitted this. "So you're telling me you were speeding...AND committed a robbery?"
"Yes," the man calmly says. "I have the loot in the back."
The cop begins to get angry. "Sir, I'm afraid you have to come with me." The cop reaches in the window to subdue the man.
"Don't do that!" the man yells fearfully. "I'm scared you will find the gun in my glove compartment!" The cop pulls his hand out. "Wait here," he says.
The cop calls for backup. Soon cops, cars, and helicopters are flooding the area. The man is cuffed quickly and taken towards a car. However, before he gets in, a cop walks up to him and says, while gesturing to the cop that pulled him over, "Sir, this officer informed us that you had committed a robbery, had stolen loot in the trunk of your car, and had a loaded gun in your glove compartment. However, we found none of these things in your car."
The man replies, "Yeah, and I bet that liar said I was speeding too!"
#Speediing
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Late one night a man is driving down the road, speeding quite a bit. A cop notices how fast he is going and pulls him over. The cop says to the man, "Are you aware of how fast you were going?"
The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I…
The man replies, "Yes I am. I'm trying to escape a robbery I…
Snapp: How Tehran's answer to Uber is changing
People thought I’m crazy, but now more people are coming back and nobody is surprised anymore. People are seeing it as a good thing – they have some international experience and some education abroad, and now they say ‘let’s go back to Iran and let’s see what we can do there’. There’s been a lot of change. #Reverse #brain #drain.”
In the past three years, Snapp has revolutionised the way Tehranis live and travel in the city. “Right now Snapp has become synonymous with giving a ride. What used to be called darbast, it’s now known as Snapp,” says the company’s CEO, Shahram Shahkar, a 32-year-old Iranian entrepreneur who now has 500 staff with an average age of 24. Just a year ago he had 60 employees. Shahkar, who left Iran at the age of 17 to study in the UK and then in Canada, quit his job at the software company SAP four years ago to return to his home country and explore its untapped technological potential.
“When I wanted to come back to Iran, my parents were furious,” he remembers. “They were like ‘are you crazy? We sent you abroad to study and make a good life’. You know how parents think. They said ‘you want to leave all of that and return to Iran? What the hell?’”
https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2017/jul/31/snapp-how-tehran-answer-to-uber-is-changing-how-people-travel-and-live
People thought I’m crazy, but now more people are coming back and nobody is surprised anymore. People are seeing it as a good thing – they have some international experience and some education abroad, and now they say ‘let’s go back to Iran and let’s see what we can do there’. There’s been a lot of change. #Reverse #brain #drain.”
In the past three years, Snapp has revolutionised the way Tehranis live and travel in the city. “Right now Snapp has become synonymous with giving a ride. What used to be called darbast, it’s now known as Snapp,” says the company’s CEO, Shahram Shahkar, a 32-year-old Iranian entrepreneur who now has 500 staff with an average age of 24. Just a year ago he had 60 employees. Shahkar, who left Iran at the age of 17 to study in the UK and then in Canada, quit his job at the software company SAP four years ago to return to his home country and explore its untapped technological potential.
“When I wanted to come back to Iran, my parents were furious,” he remembers. “They were like ‘are you crazy? We sent you abroad to study and make a good life’. You know how parents think. They said ‘you want to leave all of that and return to Iran? What the hell?’”
https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2017/jul/31/snapp-how-tehran-answer-to-uber-is-changing-how-people-travel-and-live
the Guardian
Snapp: how Tehran's answer to Uber is changing how people travel, and live
Users can enjoy a low-cost ride without having to share their taxi but the app is also challenging Iranian notions of customer service and even female employment
👆👆👆👆👆
Jim Croce Lyrics "Time In A Bottle"
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do, once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty, except for the memory of how
They were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do, once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go through time wit
#Conditionals #Typell
https://t.me/MkNotes/382
Jim Croce Lyrics "Time In A Bottle"
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
I'd save every day like a treasure and then
Again, I would spend them with you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do, once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go through time with
If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty, except for the memory of how
They were answered by you
But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do, once you find them
I've looked around enough to know
That you're the one I want to go through time wit
#Conditionals #Typell
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Jim Croce Lyrics "Time In A Bottle"
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come…
Jim Croce Lyrics "Time In A Bottle"
If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that I'd like to do
Is to save every day till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you
If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come…
A poem by Norman Silver:
txt commndmnts
1 u shall luv ur mobil fone with all ur hart
2 u & ur fone shall neva b apart
3 u shall nt lust aftr ur neibrs fone nor thiev
4 u shall b prepard @ all times 2 tXt & 2 recv
5 u shall use LOL & othr acronyms in conversatns
6 u shall be zappy with ur ast*r*sks & exc!matns!!
7 u shall abbrevi8 & rite words like theyr sed
8 u shall nt speak 2 sum1 face2face if u cn msg em insted
9 u shall nt shout with capitls XEPT IN DIRE EMERGNCY+
10 u shall nt consult a ninglish dictnry
txt commndmnts
1 u shall luv ur mobil fone with all ur hart
2 u & ur fone shall neva b apart
3 u shall nt lust aftr ur neibrs fone nor thiev
4 u shall b prepard @ all times 2 tXt & 2 recv
5 u shall use LOL & othr acronyms in conversatns
6 u shall be zappy with ur ast*r*sks & exc!matns!!
7 u shall abbrevi8 & rite words like theyr sed
8 u shall nt speak 2 sum1 face2face if u cn msg em insted
9 u shall nt shout with capitls XEPT IN DIRE EMERGNCY+
10 u shall nt consult a ninglish dictnry
Multi Billionaire Investor ‘Warren Buffett‘ who once was ‘The Richest Man In The World‘, shares his 5 major rules to living a successful life.
On Earning: “Never depend on a single income. Make Investments to create a second source.”
On Spending: “If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.”
On Savings: “Do not save what is left after spending, spend what is left after saving.”
On Taking Risks: ”Never test the depths of the river with both of your feet.”
On Expectations: “Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.”
On Earning: “Never depend on a single income. Make Investments to create a second source.”
On Spending: “If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.”
On Savings: “Do not save what is left after spending, spend what is left after saving.”
On Taking Risks: ”Never test the depths of the river with both of your feet.”
On Expectations: “Honesty is a very expensive gift. Do not expect it from cheap people.”
MkNotes
ILI Teacher for Many Many Years---RIP
ALEXANDRIA, VA—An elderly pedestrian struck by a car in the Landmark area of Alexandria Friday has died of his injuries, police say.
The crash happened around 7:10 p.m. at Stevenson Avenue and Yoakum Parkway. The initial investigation shows the 50-year-old male driver was heading westbound on Stevenson Avenue when he struck two pedestrians crossing the street in the crosswalk. The driver stayed on scene and talked to police.
The victims were taken to the hospital with serious injuries. According to an Alexandria Fire Department dispatch, the victims were unconscious. One of the victims, Habibollah Behzadi, 80, of Alexandria, died of his injuries Sunday, Aug. 13. The other pedestrian, a 76-year-old female Alexandria resident is in the hospital in serious but stable condition.
https://patch.com/virginia/oldtownalexandria/alexandria-resident-dies-after-friday-car-crash
The crash happened around 7:10 p.m. at Stevenson Avenue and Yoakum Parkway. The initial investigation shows the 50-year-old male driver was heading westbound on Stevenson Avenue when he struck two pedestrians crossing the street in the crosswalk. The driver stayed on scene and talked to police.
The victims were taken to the hospital with serious injuries. According to an Alexandria Fire Department dispatch, the victims were unconscious. One of the victims, Habibollah Behzadi, 80, of Alexandria, died of his injuries Sunday, Aug. 13. The other pedestrian, a 76-year-old female Alexandria resident is in the hospital in serious but stable condition.
https://patch.com/virginia/oldtownalexandria/alexandria-resident-dies-after-friday-car-crash
Old Town Alexandria, VA Patch
Elderly Alexandria Man Dies After Friday Car Crash
BREAKING: Police say one of the pedestrians hit in Friday's car crash in Alexandria has died.
👆👆👆👆👆👆
This Is Why Taylor Swift Is Suing For Just $1 In The Butt-Grabbing Trial , August 12, 2017
DJ David Mueller sought $3 million in damages, claiming Swift's assault allegations were false and ruined his career.
ICYMI, Taylor Swift is currently embroiled in a huge, two-pronged legal fight against a radio DJ in Colorado.
It all goes back to a 2013 preconcert meet-and-greet at which Taylor claims DJ David Mueller sexually assaulted her, lifting up her skirt and grabbing her butt. So he sued Taylor for $3 million in damages.
This week, Taylor defended herself on the stand like a badass, and she did not mince words.
Swift said she is not critical of her bodyguard “I’m critical of your client sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my ass.
And on Friday night, the judge dismissed the DJ's defamation claim against Taylor.
Judge dismissed Taylor Swift from being sued by Mueller finding there was no evidence her reporting of the groping was improper.
However, her legal fight isn't over yet: She is countersuing the DJ for sexual assault in response to the DJ's own lawsuit. And what's she seeking? $1. That’s right just a single dollar. Because for Taylor, it's not about the money — it's about the principle. Swift's atty said his client is only seeking $1 & to let people know you can say no & that grabbing a women’s rear end is an assault.
"She's just trying to tell people out there that you can say no when someone puts their hand on you," Taylor's attorney said. "Grabbing a woman's rear end is an assault, and it's always wrong. Any woman — rich, poor, famous, or not — is entitled to have that not happen."
https://www.buzzfeed.com/jonmichaelpoff/this-is-why-taylor-swift-is-suing-for-just-one-dollar?utm_term=.raPKy95Nj#.akd7kxvwz
This Is Why Taylor Swift Is Suing For Just $1 In The Butt-Grabbing Trial , August 12, 2017
DJ David Mueller sought $3 million in damages, claiming Swift's assault allegations were false and ruined his career.
ICYMI, Taylor Swift is currently embroiled in a huge, two-pronged legal fight against a radio DJ in Colorado.
It all goes back to a 2013 preconcert meet-and-greet at which Taylor claims DJ David Mueller sexually assaulted her, lifting up her skirt and grabbing her butt. So he sued Taylor for $3 million in damages.
This week, Taylor defended herself on the stand like a badass, and she did not mince words.
Swift said she is not critical of her bodyguard “I’m critical of your client sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my ass.
And on Friday night, the judge dismissed the DJ's defamation claim against Taylor.
Judge dismissed Taylor Swift from being sued by Mueller finding there was no evidence her reporting of the groping was improper.
However, her legal fight isn't over yet: She is countersuing the DJ for sexual assault in response to the DJ's own lawsuit. And what's she seeking? $1. That’s right just a single dollar. Because for Taylor, it's not about the money — it's about the principle. Swift's atty said his client is only seeking $1 & to let people know you can say no & that grabbing a women’s rear end is an assault.
"She's just trying to tell people out there that you can say no when someone puts their hand on you," Taylor's attorney said. "Grabbing a woman's rear end is an assault, and it's always wrong. Any woman — rich, poor, famous, or not — is entitled to have that not happen."
https://www.buzzfeed.com/jonmichaelpoff/this-is-why-taylor-swift-is-suing-for-just-one-dollar?utm_term=.raPKy95Nj#.akd7kxvwz
BuzzFeed
This Is Why Taylor Swift Is Suing For Just $1 In The Butt-Grabbing Trial
DJ David Mueller sought $3 million in damages, claiming Swift's assault allegations were false and ruined his career.
«L E T'S L E A R N E N G L I S H»
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Reasons for Grammar, mp3 » https://t.me/MkNotes/6
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Gerunds Vs Infintive1, mp3» https://t.me/MkNotes/8
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Punctuations, pdf » https://t.me/MkNotes/12
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Modals, Past Spec, MP4 » https://t.me/MkNotes/16
Modals, R&R, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/17
Modals, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/18
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Conditionals III, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/21
Connectors, pdf» https://t.me/MkNotes/22
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English Mania, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/27
English Mania, Doc» https://t.me/MkNotes/28
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Punct, Comma, Cooking, Jpg» https://t.me/MkNotes/68
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USUK Transportation, Jpg» https://t.me/MkNotes/52
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USUK Foods, Jpg» t.me/MkNotes/58
#LearnEnglish
Sentence, pdf » https://t.me/MkNotes/3
Tenses, pdf » https://t.me/MkNotes/4
Reasons for Grammar, mp3 » https://t.me/MkNotes/6
Reasons for Grammar, pdf » https://t.me/MkNotes/7
Gerunds Vs Infintive1, mp3» https://t.me/MkNotes/8
Gerunds Vs Infintive2, mp3» https://t.me/MkNotes/10
Gerunds vs. infinitive1, pdf» https://t.me/MkNotes/14
Gerunds vs. infinitive2, pdf » https://t.me/MkNotes/11
Punctuations, pdf » https://t.me/MkNotes/12
Modal, one Page, pdf» https://t.me/MkNotes/15
Modals, Past Spec, MP4 » https://t.me/MkNotes/16
Modals, R&R, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/17
Modals, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/18
Conditionals II&III, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/19
Conditionals III, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/21
Connectors, pdf» https://t.me/MkNotes/22
Connectors Transitions, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/23
Connectors Trans, Song, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/26
English Mania, MP4» https://t.me/MkNotes/27
English Mania, Doc» https://t.me/MkNotes/28
Practical English Usage, pdf» https://t.me/MkNotes/29
Dangerous English» https://t.me/MkNotes/30
Just Google It, MP3» https://t.me/MkNotes/31
Just Google It, pdf »> https://t.me/MkNotes/38
Summarizing, MP3 » https://t.me/MkNotes/33
Using a Dictionary, Mp3» https://t.me/MkNotes/35
Using a Dictionary, Pdf » https://t.me/MkNotes/39
Phrasal Verbs, MP3» https://t.me/MkNotes/44
Phrasal Verbs, Pdf »https://t.me/MkNotes/45
Read Read, Mp3» https://t.me/MkNotes/47
Read Read, pdf»https://t.me/MkNotes/48
Sentence Structure, Mp3» https://t.me/MkNotes/49
Sentence Structure, Pdf» https://t.me/MkNotes/50
Punct, Comma, Cooking, Jpg» https://t.me/MkNotes/68
Punc. ManVs.Woman, Jpg» https://t.me/MkNotes/71
Punct, comma, Granma, jpg » https://t.me/MkNotes/72
Punct, John, Jpg »https://t.me/MkNotes/73
USUK Transportation, Jpg» https://t.me/MkNotes/52
USUK Clothes, Jpg» https://t.me/MkNotes/53
USUK Msln, Jpg » https://t.me/MkNotes/54
USUK Pronounce, Jpg» https://t.me/MkNotes/56
USUK Slangs, Jpg» https://t.me/MkNotes/57
USUK Foods, Jpg» t.me/MkNotes/58
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Sentence Structure
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Sentence Structure
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