Little Johnny was on a plane when the stranger in the next seat said, "Let's talk. Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passengers."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
The stranger said, "How about nuclear power?"
Johnny said, "That could be interesting. But first, I have a question. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same thing, grass. Yet a deer excretes pellets, while a cow excretes a flat patty, and a horse excretes clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The stranger said, "I have no idea."
Johnny said, "Well, then, why do you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

https://t.me/MkNotes/221

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!

MARRIAGE: It's an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece

LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either

CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present

CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on

ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before

CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read

SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life

YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth

EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes

DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip

OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"

MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!

FATHER: A banker provided by nature

BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early

POLITICIAN: One who shakes your Hand before elections and your Confidence later

DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills !!

https://t.me/MkNotes/223

Such memories, of course, would imply the unthinkable: that Iran was as beautiful, as fun, as energizing and romantic, as Oklahoma or Montana or New York.
when all conversation would stop and she would be asked to repeat our escape story. The problem, of course, was that they wanted our salvation story as a talisman, no more. No one ever asked what our house in Iran looked like, what fruits we grew in our yard, what books we read, what music we loved and what it felt like now not to understand any of the songs on the radio. No one asked if we missed our cousins or grandparents or best friends. No one asked what we did in summers or if we had any photos of the Caspian Sea. “Men treat women horribly there, don’t they?” the women would ask. Somehow it didn’t feel OK to tell them about my funny dad with his pockets full of sour cherries, or my grandpa who removed his false teeth when he told ghost stories.
In many of the classes I’ve taught, my quietest kids have been Middle Eastern. I’m always surprised by this, since the literature I choose should resonate most with them, since I’m an Iranian teacher, their ally, since the civilized world yearns for their voices now. Still, they bristle at headlines about the refugee crisis that I flash on the screen, hang their heads, and look relieved when the class is finished. Their silence makes me angry, but I understand why they don’t want to commit to any point of view. Who knows what their universe looks like outside my classroom, what sentiments they’re expected to display in order to be on the inside
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2017/apr/04/dina-nayeri-ungrateful-refugee?CMP=share_btn_fb

Katy Perry – Roar
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CevxZvSJLk8&list=RDQM_xI0XWgkgmU&index=30

Katy Perry – Roar
I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sit quietly
Agree politely

I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing
So I fell for everything

(Pre-Chorus)
You held me down but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

You held me down but I got up
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

(Chorus)
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion
And you’re gonna hear me roar

Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion
And you’re gonna hear me roar
You’re gonna hear me roar

Now I’m floating like a butterfly
Stinging like a bee, I earned my stripes
I went from zero
To my own hero

(Pre-Chorus)
You held me down but I got up
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, you hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

You held me down but I got up
Get ready ’cause I’ve had enough
I see it all, I see it now

(Chorus)
I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion
And you’re gonna hear me roar

🥂DO LIFE OR LIFE WILL DO YOU🥂

Perfect English #Perfect #English
https://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=qK3ppRnasQA

End of Conflict
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZupkGKtJvw

Mind Your Language #Shopping

Noise»»»»»»»»»»»> Wisdom

#Love #My #Dog #Cat #Stevens

Stop holding those farts in. Here are 7 unexpected health benefits of passing gas D.G. Sciortino on May 8th, 2017

If you’ve ever shamed yourself or have been shamed by someone else for passing wind, just tell them you’re being healthy. Regardless of why or how many times we fart, here are some reasons it is good for us.
1. Bloat Reduction
2. It Helps to Balance Your Diet
3. Reduce Abdominal Pain
4. Colon Health
5. Smelling Your Farts is Healthy
6. Determine Food Allergies
7. It’s Pleasurable

Farting feels fantastic. If that’s not a good enough reason to pass wind… I don’t know what is. Besides, trying to hold it in can make us cranky and no one needs another reason to be cranky. If you’re still ashamed of how much gas you pass, you can try the following:
•make sure you don’t have any conditions that require medical attention
•eat slowly
•avoid carbonated drinks and artificial sweeteners
•get more exercise
Otherwise, just get more comfortable with being a human being. After all, having a healthy digestive system is something to be thankful for.

http://shareably.net/health-benefits-farting/?utm_source=out&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=health

#Smoking #vs #Farting

در شرایط کنونی کمال گرایان دیگران را ریز، جاهل و غیره ... فرض می کنند و غافل از درد درون خود ...
کمال گرایی یک بیماری است
Difficulties of Being a Perfectionist
Here are some hallmarks of a perfectionist belief system:
1. As a person you are not okay as you are.
2. No matter what you achieve, the feelings of satisfaction are temporary. There is always more to do, be, accomplish.
3. Things are either black or white- no vaguely defined area of in between or close enough. Things in your life are either right or wrong, good or bad success or failure
4. You believe that only by making everything perfect on the outside will you feel peace and serenity on the inside.
5. If you continually achieve, acquire and look good doing it, you will be successful and happy.
6. When things go wrong or you do not achieve at a certain level, you have failed.
7. Effort and intention are not enough. Results must be productive and successful. Focus is on product, not process.
8. You are extremely competitive about almost everything.
9. You feel secretly judgmental of people who fall short of perfection.
10. You imagine others admire and value you only for your high level of achievement and production.
https://t.me/MkNotes/258

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inside-out/201311/4-difficulties-being-perfectionist

I started a joke which started the whole world crying
But I didn't see that the joke was on me oh no
I started to cry which started the whole world laughing
Oh If I'd only seen that the joke was on me

https://t.me/MkNotes/266

Have a Good Day

Have a Drink on Me!