I'm the happiest in the world to have you back but scared than most to lose you again.

when i look in the mirror, i can see my 6-year-old self and i always whisper “i’m sorry” as if i could comfort that little child.

• @regretletters •

I don't wanna figure it out. There will just be more questions. Questions tighten the noose. Questions take your breath away. I don't think I ever will. This grief.........💔

"Don’t fall in love with a woman who reads
A woman who feels too much
A woman who writes
Don’t fall in love with a woman that’s cultured, delirious and crazy
Don’t fall in love with a woman that knows how to fly
A woman that knows how to turn her flesh into soul
And most importantly...don’t fall in love with a woman who loves poetry
A woman that stands in front of a painting for a long time
And can’t live without music
Don’t fall in love with a woman that’s strong and won’t bow down
You wouldn’t want to fall in love with a woman like that
Because if you fall for her
And whether she stays with you or not
Or if she loves you first
From a woman like this no one comes back...no one returns..."

I hate it when time flies
When it does not give me space to breathe
It reminds me of the childhood I never had
The days that were taken away from me
The moments I long wish to experience
The smiles that weren't allowed to decorate my lips
The tears I shed while I wanted to cheer
Yes, I hate it when time flies🖤

-Mercy🩸

I miss how easy it was you know?
Just laying your head on a pillow and drifting off to slumber.

I don't know this time, I don't know💔

Sometimes I can't explain how exhausted I feel. No I don't have a piled up schedule of things I should be doing, I don't have a job that expects every ounce of my effort and for that matter I don't have anything that exhausts normal people.
I'm exhausted of trying to become my future, dragging tomorrow into today and struggling to fit what can't fit.

Just waking up, breathing, convincing myself that I'm doing really great, pretending, the list is endless. All of it exhausts me, maybe because I'm trying to live what's not to be lived in this exact moment? Or am I just too mentally broken to find joy?

I guess we'll never know :)

I don't want to write anymore, it hurts.

Consequences

When I first saw him, I felt nothing and everything at the same time. I felt a pain deep inside that I had no idea existed. It was both the best and worst sensation. “IT'S HIM!!!” screamed my mind. It felt so safe to be with him. “How is it possible to be so angelic?” Every day, I ask myself this question. How would he put up with me when all I do is screw things up? “It's genuine and pure love,” my heart replied.
Remember how I poured my heart out on the table in the pastry shop? “What if he crashes it right here and leaves?” I wondered. I guess I was constantly haunted by fear when we were dating. Knowing that we were getting closer to the end by the minute made me even more terrified. Observing who you associate with as well.
But I knew I shouldn't get too close to him. Since I was harmed and couldn't love properly. "You don't let go of stuff, and that's messed up," people say. How do I let go of stuff when the things that people did to me in the past are still affecting my current relationships? I got too attached to him sometimes though I wasn't supposed to. I was too broken to trust him, even though he loved me despite my frailty. As a result, I had to hurt him before he could hurt me. I had no choice but to squander the only beautiful thing I'd ever been given.
I always adore you in ways that no words could ever express. Against all odds, I do hope to steal your surname one day. Even though you said you didn't feel the same way, I'd like to wait for you whenever. I've never seen someone who is so imperfectly molded and seems so polished and collected; I've never seen a smile that sparked a fire in my cold soul; I've never touched a hand that stopped time. In every way, he is flawless. He's like the last piece of the puzzle you're missing to finish the frame. But it wasn't long before I realized I'd put the last puzzle piece in the wrong spot because the shape of the empty piece was nearly identical. As a result, I had to jumble it. And I discovered that loving you has consequences.

Bonita