πŸ”Š @MaxMoRadio β€’ Max Mediumo β€’ Mack's Memo β€’ Intuitive Public Radio β€’ IPR β€’β€’β€’
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8 June 2012.

11 years ago, a dream I find very curious.

"I just remembered last night's dream; I was in a class, like a college class, and it was grueling. We started sometime in the morning and routinely met until 5am, slept and then started again the next morning. Day after day after day -- it felt like an impossible pace. I wasn't sure how my classmates were keeping it up and I didn't want to be the first one to demand a new schedule for everyone involved..."

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6107
Another dream from the same night or early morning 8 June 2012.

What do dreams indicate about our waking lives and the paths unfolding before us?

"I dreamt I was in New Delhi with Em, Josh, Julie and somebody a lot like Nobody. There were rooms full of clothing and odd items, a lot like a Pinterest board in person. We were digging through it all. There was more, but I haven't remembered it yet. I woke up thinking very serious thoughts."

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6108
11 years ago, these lovely flowers. :-)

It's interesting to notice these posts. 11 years ago, events were leading up to some less-unique-than-expected situations I found myself in as 2012 continued toward 2013.

🌺🐝🌻🌿✨

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6109
How do we come to know ourselves in a world like this one?

Flowers bursting in photography of 11 years ago activate my body in very subtle ways.

What do you remember of your blossoming ancient days?

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6110
I remember #zombiesrun and how vivid the game was for me, moving my body and loving the air and sunlight cleansing me.

I would see flowers and snails and stop to snap a photo -- then keep running.

I had clothing, I remember, that fit well and stayed on my body while moving. :-)

The South Austin neighborhoods I explored while tuning my game strength were full of intriguing visual stories I enjoyed being immersed in. These neighborhoods were pleasant. Maybe they still are. They provided a creative fusion, a stark contrast to the auditory (fictional?) crisis narrative indicating dangers of the nearing walking dead.

Be wise to sudden attacks; pick up your speed to pull away from chases.

Nab every supply you can find.

There were things happening in my neighborhoods there in Texas and in the greater world around me that were just as unsettling as... if not radically more so than... the nifty life-and-death podcast audio running game about zombies.

What was I learning?

(What are you learning?)

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6111
Who's got compost! Sun's shining.

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The more I stumble on bits of trauma from my past, the prouder I am of her -- of the young woman who went through those things, of myself who contains parts of her.

I did not realize at the time how bad the conditions I was navigating were, while I was in the midst of them. When I stumble back on references and notes from that time, I am staggered by what she was going through, memories that are still slowly stitching themselves back together as neuroplasticity improves and neurological function finds ways to better regulate.

I know that I am facing a future potentially full of assholes telling me what I've done wrong... while ignoring the psychosocial environments that produced those mistakes... their own participations... and the impossibly severe physical and sexual traumas in play.

There are a lot of people who, when they are asked to acknowledge how they have hurt someone else, move immediately and incontrovertibly into denial -- squashing marginalized voices as they go, because many of those voices will not have the power to stand up for themselves.

And yet I have now learned enough and gathered strength of resources around me to feel that I know what I will say to them.

It will take into consideration our common humanity, but it will not allow them to hurt me and others without accountability.

I am imperfect.

I am not unlike the assholes who would say the sorts of things that I myself allowed and supported when people who said such things were friends and family to me.

I have not entirely come to terms yet with the person I was when that was my chosen life, not understanding that better choices were available, not recognizing the world of hurt being created for those whose voices are put down, and how even my seemingly meager lifestyle at the time contributed heavily to that hurting.

An asshole delivers shit unto the world.

I have been given this shit to deliver.

It is actually some really good, nourishing shit.

We have gardening to do.

🌱

#WarriorsAid #HumanitarianArt

t.me/MaxMoRadio/6112
This context of dream traveling... of being pushed to breaking, the fear of broaching survival honesty, and of social supply-seeking... brings the energy of long ago physical activities into a new and different clarity in my present body.

11 years ago, what were you dreaming and feeling?

Were you also running?

Did you also have a sense that you could succeed?

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2.09 mile #zombiesrun this morning. Very somber and "dark night of the soul," storywise, matched the mood I woke up with -- and matched the almost-rainy weather, too. Lots of flowers poking through the veil, though, as I'm sure some of you noticed from my Instagram feed... :}

t.me/MaxMoRadio/6113
What do you think Anne and Ray talk about over their coffee?

What do you think 11 years feels like in the context of an afterlife?

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"We were saddened to hear about Ray Bradbury's passing, so we thought today's quote should be something inspiring -- straight from the man himself."

t.me/MaxMoRadio/6114
Oh yes, as if working this hard without a break would be embarrassing. Hilarious...

...Non-stop achievement being required competency in colonial imperialist environments, obfuscation and misdirection from one's own experience of traumatic disablement being par for the course... of course.

(Or perhaps... "off-course"...?)

Curiously, I did seem to think what I was supposed to do was get enough rest on a regular basis to be able to do my work well.

Funny about that.

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"Whew, I'm reeling. I have worked steady all day just to get the most essential items on my list done, and that's... the last 7.5 hours without any real breaks. I don't want to make this a habit, but I have to admit I'm proud of myself... and a teensy bit fried..."

t.me/MaxMoRadio/6115
What IS the "dark side," wise friends?

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πŸŒ–πŸŒ—πŸŒ˜πŸŒšπŸŒ’πŸŒ“πŸŒ”

' In mythology and comic books, in action movies and westerns, the conflict between good and evil, or light and dark, is a recurring theme. In movies like Star Wars and Doctor Strange and many more, the hero triumphs over those who entice him to give in and embrace the "dark side." But what is the dark side? It's not a mythical place or event, far removed from every day life or the reach of the common man. We embrace the dark side every time we give in to fear, hatred and ignorance. Whenever we choose hate instead of love. Whenever we choose intolerance, prejudice, bigotry -- we choose the dark side. Whenever we allow fear to guide our thoughts, feelings and actions. That's the call of the dark side. It's as simple as that. And as close. '

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6118
8 June 2018:

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' update: got, success. air qualifty hit, grateful to have returned. now time for breathing exercises. then to more problem solving ! gratitude, gratitude for food. βœ¨πŸŒŸπŸ’–πŸ™πŸΌπŸ’–πŸŒŸβœ¨

-

Out of food, and accounts are zero. Can you help?

Urgently need to make medicinal juice to avoid cascades that lead to digestive failure, keep absorption functioning maximally, improve physiological stability and strengthen stressor thresholds. 🌱🌿πŸ₯’πŸ‹πŸ₯—πŸ΅πŸπŸŒΏπŸŒ±

Great appreciation if a handful of someones could put a few dollars in my PayPal account to help me uphold threshold progress, important on day-to-day basis to stay alive.

I will record you a song or do something else that you request in exchange for sending me some money I can buy groceries with.

This could be a lovely game 🌟

Would like please to keep digestion working at its very very best possible, as the consequences of resource gaps are quite extreme for me.

More useful information & link in comments.

Thank you.

🌱

#HealingTraumaThrough
#WarriorsAid #HumanitarianArt
& #CollaborativeEmergence '

t.me/MaxMoRadio/6119, t.me/MaxMoRadio/6120
Haulin' forward sweet lady. Turns out, your body's still alive 5 years later. How about that work ethic...!

From t.me/MaxMoRadio/6119's fb share, in the comments:

' Working out some body challenges, intending to drive temporarily borrowed car into town to get however much I can. Aiming for about a half hour from now if I can swing it. [Edit: not swung as hoped, but preparing to try again.]

Working very hard, very joyfully, and accomplishing the solving of problem after problem. I am really proud of me, and I am still going.

Cannot remember much, and appear to need more consistent ongoing human interaction in order to access memory functions to share great celebrations (very welcomed). ✨

Still working out how Facebook fundraising money will arrive in my accounts (and Facebook fundraisers for individuals must be approved by the system before they go live, so it is an unknown wait time). Pretty sure it is set up right, but still waiting for that process to complete.

Would you like to benefit directly from some aspect of my simultaneously sky-high creative survival function + unpredictably zero-function brain to manifest unique and unexpected solutions to your current sticky challenges, while nourishing us both in community together?

Or just feel good about helping my body sustain physiological aliveness conditions free of unnecessary physical trauma today?

This is my winsome face! πŸ˜‹ '

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6119, t.me/MaxMoRadio/6120
This crocodile metaphor of 4 years deep, wakeful probity:

"O Facebook
O Terrible Ally
With slavering fangs
And a winning smile
Will we prove worthwhile?

Do you crunch and writhe?

Are you alive, somewhere inside?

Do you feel the tiny spark
Most are inclined
To hide?"

Today in the Mayan Tzolkin -- Crocodile Water Lily Dreaming and the sacred number 3.

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6106, t.me/MaxMoRadio/6121
June 2020. Pertinent.

πŸ€¨πŸ€”πŸ‘€πŸ’«

' We need more peer support and community response networks. We need to put power back into the hands of the people. We need the people most impacted to not only give input but to run and be responsible for the inception of all system services. We need those who are marginalized to take the lead in each community not out of expectation or tokenization but humanization.

β€œReplace the cops with mental health workers!” is a really well-intentioned statement, but the current mental health system is also a white-dominated, violent, coercive, and unaccountable structure that disproportionately harms people of color.” β€” Morgan M. Page '

medium.com/@stefkaufman/we-dont-need-cops-to-become-social-workers-we-need-peer-support-b8e6c4ffe87a

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t.me/MaxMoRadio/6122