Overlooking a clear dealbreaker is just postponing the damage that will eventually hit you harder than if you had walked away at the start

Believing you can change someone is usually a way of avoiding a hard decision

Have dignity and end it when you see it clearly

Not dating women until you hit certain amount of 💵 or a certain stat is one of the wildest copes out there.

If you will not do it now I can promise you that you will not magically do it when you hit your mark.

You should be doing everything on the come up that you would be doing if you already made it big.

So many guys online be like “I can’t get girls, I’m not tall/hot/rich enough.”

Then you meet them: their personalities are flat, convo is awkward, and social skills bad.

Develop personality, conversation, and social aptitude.

Then see if you care about that other stuff (you won’t).

You have to go meet women IN PERSON.

Not just “learning about women” on red/black pill channels that freak you out with the “worst of women.”

Go talk to real women, OFTEN, and you’ll see the “worst of women” are tiny in number and you almost never meet them.

Also, dating apps don’t count.

The “worst of women” thrive on apps.

The proper way to build INTRIGUE:

=> Bring up interesting stuff, but don’t explain everything (plant the bait) => When she asks (takes the bait), give a bit more, but still leave things unsaid
=> She’ll keep asking if she’s intrigued

The proper way to build CONNECTION:

=> Talk to her and find out her attitudes / what she values
=> Connect with her over the attitudes and values you share

Do both right, and she’ll feel DEEPLY CONNECTED to you… yet still see you as a man full of intrigue and mystery.

New MOS Stack

Check it out:

Manofstxxx.substack.com

Do you want girls to CHOOSE you or do you want girls to CHASE you?

❌ CHOOSE: you talk about yourself, hoping she’s impressed.
✅ CHASE: you ask her what she does that’s impressive, and approve of what you like.

❌ CHOOSE: you pay for fancy dates, hoping she feels grateful.
✅ CHASE: you remove money from the equation so the focus is on the connection.

❌ CHOOSE: you act as respectful as possible, hoping she’ll like you.
✅ CHASE: you tease her, bust her balls, and make her qualify herself to you.

❌ CHOOSE: you never stop focusing on her, hoping she won’t run off.
✅ CHASE: you talk to friends and other people; sometimes SHE has to reengage YOU.

❌ CHOOSE: you fill every pause in conversation, hoping it never feels awkward.
✅ CHASE: you leave pauses sometimes, seeing if she’ll fill them.

❌ CHOOSE: you do everything for her, making it as easy as possible to be with you.
✅ CHASE: you ask her to do things for you, testing if she’s willing to invest.

❌ CHOOSE: you keep it platonic, hoping not to scare her by being sexual.
✅ CHASE: you sexualize things at some point, because it’s FUN, and that’s where you want it to go.

Some guys hope to be chosen. Some guys make girls chase them. Decide which one you’ll be, and act accordingly.

USING “ONLY” TO RESPOND TO WOMEN’S TESTS works extremely well for playful tests or teasing.

Example:
Her: “Do you do this with every girl?”
You: “Only the cool ones / naughty ones / etc.”

Her: “I bet you bring every girl here.”
You: “Only the really bad ones.”

It gives you a vibe of selectiveness while staying relaxed and playful with her test.

FRUSTRATION with women shows you at least ONE (1) thing:

=> You are with the wrong type of woman, OR
=> You are approaching women the wrong way

Most of the time, it’s BOTH: you are dealing with the wrong type of woman, in the wrong possible way.

Game is the skill to: • Approach • initiate • Flirt • Talk • connect • Touch • Lead frame • Make moves • Win people over • Handle pushback • Solve logistics • Seduce • Escalate • Close

You can hide many flaws with solid game.

You cannot hide lack of game with anything except huge fame, wealth, or amazing and brief good luck.

Women act the most aggressive with men they discover are:

• Newly single, OR
• Just moved into town, OR
• Only staying a few days, OR
• About to leave soon

These are the men who look like “guys usually taken in a relationship but I caught him at the perfect time” or “no strings fun with a guy who likely has an exciting life somewhere else.”

The man who has been single for long in her town, who is not leaving, who did not just end a breakup, who is not there on holiday, is simply the normal single guy trying to meet someone like everybody else.

Or at least, that is how he appears.

You don’t need to follow every “strict alpha male” rule to succeed with women:

- It’s fine to ask women questions

- It’s fine to build a connection with them

- It’s fine to tell women you like them

- It’s fine to double text

The key is doing it with purpose, calm, and savvy instead of hoping for a result.

Disregard women’s opinions about men. “I like this”, “I like that”... People who express opinions are trying to help themselves. They are not trying to help YOU. Observe what women DO instead!

Modern women do not care much about being viewed as ‘loose’... But they very, very much care about being viewed as commitment-worthy.

When women ask you “what are you looking for?”

✅ “Someone I enjoy being around”

✅ “Someone I feel I can relate to”

✅ “Fun times and great connections”

… are all very USEFUL answers.”

Tackle your next most achievable obstacle this week:

=> If you think you’re ugly, get a makeover

=> If you think you’re unsocial, sign up for Toastmasters

=> If you’re too serious, take an improv comedy class

=> If you’re too easily intimidated, sign up for Krav Maga or Wing Chun

=> If you have no chill, take a meditation class

=> If you’re too nerdy, take a surfing, snowboarding, or tennis class

The world only sucks for men standing still!

There’s a version of you that has everything figured out in his head.

He knows what kind of woman he wants.

He knows what he’d say if he walked up to her.

He’s replayed the last situation that went wrong so many times he could draw you a diagram of exactly where it fell apart and what he’d do differently.

He feels ready. He’s been ready for a while now.

He hasn’t talked to a woman he didn’t already know in over a month.

This is the thing that kills more potential than fear ever did.

It’s a specific loop where thinking about the problem becomes a substitute for engaging with it and it’s seductive because it feels like work. It’s tiring. It’s detailed. It involves dating. So it registers as progress even though nothing has actually happened.

The guy who’s been burned is the most vulnerable. He’ll spend weeks breaking down what went wrong with the last girl, what he should have said, what he’ll do when the next one comes along.

The next one comes along and he’s not ready because he’s still in the debrief from the one before.

And the cruel part is the analysis is usually correct.

He probably did identify the real mistakes. He probably would handle it differently but your nervous system doesn’t care what you’ve figured out.

The first approach after a long gap feels identical to the first approach you ever did, because your body hasn’t been through it recently, only your mind has.

The only exit is doing something before your brain talks you out of it.

Not a big thing.

Just something real, today, that puts you back in contact with actual women instead of your idea of them.

The longer you stay in your head the more convincing it gets in there and the more the outside world starts to feel like the thing that needs more preparation before you’re ready for it.

You’re not almost ready.

You’ve been almost ready for months.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Three weeks ago a guy sent me a screenshot of a text exchange.

We were doing a one-on-one session and he wanted me to look at a conversation he’d been managing for nine days. Nine days. The girl was a 7 or 8, met her at a coffee shop, she gave him her number without much resistance. Good sign and then he proceeded to have the most pleasant, going-nowhere text conversation I’ve ever read.

She was responding. Laughing at his jokes. Sending paragraphs back. By any surface reading, it looked like it was going well. He was proud of it. He wanted me to tell him when to ask her out.

I told him the window had probably already closed. He looked at me like I’d said something insane.

What he didn’t understand was she wasn’t texting him because she was attracted. She was texting him because texting him was easy. He’d become a low-stakes entertainment option, basically something to do while she was bored. He was the guy she talked to, not the guy she was thinking about meeting.

Those are two completely different positions and most men have no idea when they’ve slipped from one into the other.

Texting has one job.

Confirm she’s still interested, show enough personality that she remembers why she gave you her number, then get off the phone and onto a date.

That’s the whole function.

The second you start treating the conversation as the thing where you are trying to build attraction over messages, trying to get the vibe warm enough before you ask then you’ve already lost the plot.

What actually happens when you wait is this: you spend the attraction in the thread. Every funny message, every good exchange, it goes into the conversation instead of into her wanting to see you.

By the time you ask, she’s already gotten something from you. The date starts feeling like extra effort rather than the obvious next step.

Ask early. Two or three messages to reestablish the vibe, then ask not “we should hang out sometime” that’s not asking, that’s just saying words. A real ask is specific. Day, activity, a reason it makes sense.

“I’m going to X on Thursday, come along” requires a yes or a no. “We should grab drinks sometime” just floats there until it dies.

If she says she’s busy, most men fold immediately. “No worries, maybe another time.”

Then they never follow up and wonder why it went cold. Busy isn’t a no. Busy is just information about her schedule. “What does your week look like after that” is a four second response that keeps the whole thing alive.

You’re not begging, you’re just not quitting over nothing.

The one place this changes is on apps. If you matched on Hinge or Tinder, your window is even shorter and the goodwill is thinner because she has no physical memory of you.

She matched with other guys that same day. A good conversation on an app feels like momentum but it isn’t. A number is momentum. A date is momentum. Get to one of those faster than you think you need to, because the guy who moves with intention reads as more attractive than the guy who’s trying to warm her up over two weeks of memes.

The guy with the nine-day thread texted her that evening asking if she wanted to grab a drink.

She said she’d been pretty busy lately. He said no worries. I told him to follow up in three days with something specific. He did. She came out.
He got lucky.

Most men don’t follow up at all.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

This one still bothers me a little, even though it ended ok.

About four years ago I was in a Zara on a Saturday afternoon. I had no shopping intention, just killing time between two things.

There was a woman near the back looking through a rack of jackets. She was mid-twenties, dark hair, and looked like a solid 7

I watched her for maybe thirty seconds. Not in a creepy way, just long enough to get a read. She wasn’t in a hurry cos she had no basket full of items, no phone in her hand, no friend waiting two feet away. She was browsing. That matters more than most guys realize since a woman mid-errand with somewhere to be is a fundamentally different conversation than a woman with time and no urgency. This one had time.

I walked over and opened direct. Told her I thought she was attractive and didn’t want to just walk past without saying something. Simple. No opinion opener, no indirect gambit, no pretending I needed help finding something.

Just the real reason I came over.

She looked up, smiled, said thank you and then she said something I wasn’t ready for.

“My boyfriend’s just gone to look at the men’s section.”

Now here’s where most guys either eject immediately or do something weird like freeze up, apologise like they’ve committed a crime, back away slowly. I’ve done both in my earlier years. Neither is good. The apology especially is bad because it reframes the whole thing as something that needed apologising for, which it didn’t.

I said “fair enough, he’s a lucky guy” and left it there. Warm, not deflated, no awkwardness manufactured on my end. Walked away and moved on.

About twenty minutes later I was on a different floor and she appeared. On her own this time. She made eye contact, held it for a second, then looked at a rack near me. She didn’t say anything. Neither did I. I left.

What that moment exposed was the gap between information and permission. She gave me a reason to walk away. Clean information but permission to do what, exactly, I still couldn’t tell you.

She gave me a real reason to walk away. I did the right thing and yet the situation still had an unresolved quality to it that took me a while to sit with cleanly.

What it taught me, or more accurately what it confirmed, is that the approach was never the issue. The open was good, the delivery was right, the recovery was clean.

Sometimes you just run into a wall that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with timing and circumstance. That’s not a lesson you can execute your way around.

The other thing it revealed is how much environment shapes what’s possible. That interaction plays out completely differently at night, in a bar, where the context already signals availability.

In a Zara on a Saturday with a boyfriend twenty metres away, you have a smaller window, a faster read required, and a narrower set of acceptable moves.

Daygame isn’t just cold approach in daylight. It’s a different game with different rules and the men who treat it like a watered-down version of night game consistently misread what’s actually in front of them.

Approach the woman. Read the environment first and when the wall is real, walk away clean.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

Social circle game is what men tell themselves they're going to focus on when they've decided to stop doing the things that actually require courage.

That's the uncomfortable version of it a nd I say that as someone who has genuinely benefited from social circle dynamics with reputation travelling ahead of you, women who are already warm before you say a word, the whole thing.

It works but the way it gets talked about in this space has become a sophisticated-sounding exit ramp for men who don't want to approach strangers and don't want to admit that's why.

The fantasy version goes like this: build a great social circle, become the high value man in the room, let women come to you through proximity and reputation. You don't get rejected, no need for cold approach, no algorithm working against you. Just a rich social life that naturally produces dating opportunities. It sounds like the mature strategy. The evolved one.

What it actually requires is a network of interesting people doing interesting things, with single women in it who are in your age range and attracted to the kind of man you are. It's not a group chat with your friends from university.

An actual functioning social ecosystem that you are genuinely central to. Most men don't have that. They have the same contracted circle they've had since their mid-twenties and it's been getting smaller every year since.

And if you're coming out of a long relationship in your late 30s or 40s, the advice is nearly useless in any practical timeframe.

Your circle went quiet while you were coupled up. Rebuilding it takes years. You cannot put your dating life on hold while you wait for a social infrastructure to develop that may never reach the density it needs to actually produce results.

The other thing nobody wants to say out loud is that social circle game has a hard ceiling on the pool. You are fishing in a lake with maybe fifteen people in it. Cold approach puts you in front of women you would never encounter through your existing life. Apps, for all their problems, do the same. The men who dismiss both of those in favour of social circle game are often choosing the option that requires the least exposure to direct rejection, and dressing it up as strategic patience.

Build a good social life because it makes your life better but if you're treating it as your primary dating strategy, be honest with yourself about whether that's a plan or just a more comfortable way to wait.