A lot of you are crushing the challenge so far.
Love to see it.
Understand that eye contact and smiles are just the warm-up.
If you want the complete system for actually TALKING to women, getting numbers, and turning those into dates and lays, I've got something for you.
My Ultimate Dating Bundle ($37) has everything:
- Cold approach frameworks
- Text game strategies
- First date to physical escalation
- Handling objections and tests
Link in bio.
Grab it if you're serious.
(If you already have it and aren't using it... wtf are you waiting for?)
Love to see it.
Understand that eye contact and smiles are just the warm-up.
If you want the complete system for actually TALKING to women, getting numbers, and turning those into dates and lays, I've got something for you.
My Ultimate Dating Bundle ($37) has everything:
- Cold approach frameworks
- Text game strategies
- First date to physical escalation
- Handling objections and tests
Link in bio.
Grab it if you're serious.
(If you already have it and aren't using it... wtf are you waiting for?)
👍5
🔥 DAY 3: THE COMPLIMENT 🔥
Today: Give 2 women a genuine compliment. Not creepy. Not sexual.
Examples:
- 'I like your jacket'
- 'That's a cool phone case'
- 'Your dog is adorable'
Say it, smile, and KEEP WALKING. Don't wait for a response. Don't hover.
This teaches you that talking to women isn't a big deal. It's just... talking.
Do it.
Comment 'DAY 3 DONE ✅
Today: Give 2 women a genuine compliment. Not creepy. Not sexual.
Examples:
- 'I like your jacket'
- 'That's a cool phone case'
- 'Your dog is adorable'
Say it, smile, and KEEP WALKING. Don't wait for a response. Don't hover.
This teaches you that talking to women isn't a big deal. It's just... talking.
Do it.
Comment 'DAY 3 DONE ✅
🔥5
Why Your First Message Gets Ignored (And How To Fix It)
You spent twenty minutes crafting that opening message.
You referenced something from her profile.
You asked a thoughtful question.
You didn't say anything creepy or weird.
You hit send feeling pretty good about it.
And then... nothing.
Not even a "thanks but no thanks."
Just radio silence, like you shouted into a cave and the cave gave you the finger.
Nobody wants to admit but... your message probably wasn't bad. It might've even been good but it didn't matter, because she never actually read it. Or she read the first five words, got a weird vibe she couldn't explain, and swiped away before your carefully constructed question even had a chance.
I've been on both sides of this. I've sent messages that I was sure were home runs and got absolutely nothing. I've also had women tell me months later "I was about to delete the app and then I saw your message and thought okay, one more." Lol
The difference between those two outcomes? It wasn't what I said. It was everything around what I said.
Let's get brutally honest about the landscape.
If you're a guy messaging women on dating apps, you're not competing against ten other guys.
You're competing against fifty, a hundred, sometimes way more and she's not sitting there eagerly waiting to read every single message with an open heart and mind.
She's tired.
She just got off work.
She's got 47 unread messages and honestly she's not even sure why she's still on this app.
Three guys have already sent her something that made her skin crawl.
Two more sent "hey."
Another one wrote a fucking dissertation about his thoughts on Jordan Peterson.
She opened Hinge because she was bored, not because she was optimistic.
Your message needs to survive a two-second gut check.
That's it.
Two seconds.
She's not analyzing your wit or emotional intelligence in those two seconds.
She's just deciding if engaging with you sounds exhausting or not and that decision is based almost entirely on things that have nothing to do with your actual words.
The Three Invisible Killers
First killer: Your photos already told a story, and your message didn't match it.
If your photos look
low-effort and your message sounds too smooth, she doesn't trust it. If your photos are all nightclub bathroom selfies and your message sounds like you're applying for a job, something feels off.
People make up a story about who you are in about three seconds of looking at your profile. If your message contradicts that story in a way that feels fake, their brain just goes "nah" and they move on.
I fucked this up for years. My photos made me look super serious (because I thought that looked mature or whatever), but then I'd send these goofy messages and girls would just... not respond. It wasn't until someone told me "your vibe is confusing" that I realized the issue wasn't my opener.
Second killer: Your message requires too much energy.
You asked a question that requires her to think about her answer.
You referenced something obscure from her profile that she now has to remember the context for.
You wrote four sentences when one would've worked.
Every extra word, every extra mental calculation you're asking her to make, is friction and friction kills responses dead.
Think about it from her perspective. She's got limited time and limited patience. If responding to you feels like homework, she's not doing it.
She'll respond to the guy whose message she can answer in five seconds without thinking.
Third killer: You sound exactly like someone.
Maybe you sound like the guy who seemed sweet at first but then sent her 18 messages in a row when she didn't respond for an hour.
Maybe you sound like her ex who always had to make everything clever.
Maybe you sound like the last three guys who matched with her today.
If your message triggers a pattern she's seen before, especially a bad one, you're done before you started.
What Actually Works (And Why It Feels Wrong At First)
You spent twenty minutes crafting that opening message.
You referenced something from her profile.
You asked a thoughtful question.
You didn't say anything creepy or weird.
You hit send feeling pretty good about it.
And then... nothing.
Not even a "thanks but no thanks."
Just radio silence, like you shouted into a cave and the cave gave you the finger.
Nobody wants to admit but... your message probably wasn't bad. It might've even been good but it didn't matter, because she never actually read it. Or she read the first five words, got a weird vibe she couldn't explain, and swiped away before your carefully constructed question even had a chance.
I've been on both sides of this. I've sent messages that I was sure were home runs and got absolutely nothing. I've also had women tell me months later "I was about to delete the app and then I saw your message and thought okay, one more." Lol
The difference between those two outcomes? It wasn't what I said. It was everything around what I said.
Let's get brutally honest about the landscape.
If you're a guy messaging women on dating apps, you're not competing against ten other guys.
You're competing against fifty, a hundred, sometimes way more and she's not sitting there eagerly waiting to read every single message with an open heart and mind.
She's tired.
She just got off work.
She's got 47 unread messages and honestly she's not even sure why she's still on this app.
Three guys have already sent her something that made her skin crawl.
Two more sent "hey."
Another one wrote a fucking dissertation about his thoughts on Jordan Peterson.
She opened Hinge because she was bored, not because she was optimistic.
Your message needs to survive a two-second gut check.
That's it.
Two seconds.
She's not analyzing your wit or emotional intelligence in those two seconds.
She's just deciding if engaging with you sounds exhausting or not and that decision is based almost entirely on things that have nothing to do with your actual words.
The Three Invisible Killers
First killer: Your photos already told a story, and your message didn't match it.
If your photos look
low-effort and your message sounds too smooth, she doesn't trust it. If your photos are all nightclub bathroom selfies and your message sounds like you're applying for a job, something feels off.
People make up a story about who you are in about three seconds of looking at your profile. If your message contradicts that story in a way that feels fake, their brain just goes "nah" and they move on.
I fucked this up for years. My photos made me look super serious (because I thought that looked mature or whatever), but then I'd send these goofy messages and girls would just... not respond. It wasn't until someone told me "your vibe is confusing" that I realized the issue wasn't my opener.
Second killer: Your message requires too much energy.
You asked a question that requires her to think about her answer.
You referenced something obscure from her profile that she now has to remember the context for.
You wrote four sentences when one would've worked.
Every extra word, every extra mental calculation you're asking her to make, is friction and friction kills responses dead.
Think about it from her perspective. She's got limited time and limited patience. If responding to you feels like homework, she's not doing it.
She'll respond to the guy whose message she can answer in five seconds without thinking.
Third killer: You sound exactly like someone.
Maybe you sound like the guy who seemed sweet at first but then sent her 18 messages in a row when she didn't respond for an hour.
Maybe you sound like her ex who always had to make everything clever.
Maybe you sound like the last three guys who matched with her today.
If your message triggers a pattern she's seen before, especially a bad one, you're done before you started.
What Actually Works (And Why It Feels Wrong At First)
I started getting way more responses when I stopped trying to be impressive and started being specific in a way that felt effortless.
Ex; Her profile says she's into hiking.
Bad message: "I love hiking too! What's your favorite trail?" ❌
This is white noise.
This is the message equivalent of elevator music.
Everyone says this exact thing.
Better message: "Tell me you've done Angels Landing without telling me you have a death wish." ✅
Why does this work?
It's specific enough that if she's actually into hiking, she knows exactly what you're talking about.
It's got personality, slightly sarcastic, not taking itself seriously. It doesn't require her to write a paragraph back.
She can laugh and say "I'm not that crazy" or "actually I did it last summer and I have the trauma to prove it" and boom, you're having a conversation.
Or try this: her profile mentions she's rewatching The Sopranos.
Bad: "The Sopranos is amazing! Who's your favorite character?" ❌
Better: "Okay but did you ugly cry at the ducks scene or are you lying" ✅
See the difference? One sounds like you're interviewing her. The other sounds like you're already talking to her.
The formula isn't complicated: show you actually looked at her profile, give her something she can riff on without thinking too hard, and sound like a real person she might actually want to grab a drink with.
You know what I've noticed through pure trial and error?
The same exact message gets completely different response rates depending on when you send it.
Send a message at 11pm on a Tuesday, you're getting lumped in with every other bored guy firing off his nightly batch of openers before bed.
She can smell the desperation through the phone.
Message someone Sunday afternoon when they're probably on their couch procrastinating on laundry, way better odds. Thursday evening, pretty good. Saturday night?
Forget it, she's either out or she's decided she's staying in and you're not changing that.
It's simple pattern recognition.
Think about when you're most open to meeting someone new versus when you're just going through the motions or feeling cynical about the whole thing.
Ex; Her profile says she's into hiking.
Bad message: "I love hiking too! What's your favorite trail?" ❌
This is white noise.
This is the message equivalent of elevator music.
Everyone says this exact thing.
Better message: "Tell me you've done Angels Landing without telling me you have a death wish." ✅
Why does this work?
It's specific enough that if she's actually into hiking, she knows exactly what you're talking about.
It's got personality, slightly sarcastic, not taking itself seriously. It doesn't require her to write a paragraph back.
She can laugh and say "I'm not that crazy" or "actually I did it last summer and I have the trauma to prove it" and boom, you're having a conversation.
Or try this: her profile mentions she's rewatching The Sopranos.
Bad: "The Sopranos is amazing! Who's your favorite character?" ❌
Better: "Okay but did you ugly cry at the ducks scene or are you lying" ✅
See the difference? One sounds like you're interviewing her. The other sounds like you're already talking to her.
The formula isn't complicated: show you actually looked at her profile, give her something she can riff on without thinking too hard, and sound like a real person she might actually want to grab a drink with.
You know what I've noticed through pure trial and error?
The same exact message gets completely different response rates depending on when you send it.
Send a message at 11pm on a Tuesday, you're getting lumped in with every other bored guy firing off his nightly batch of openers before bed.
She can smell the desperation through the phone.
Message someone Sunday afternoon when they're probably on their couch procrastinating on laundry, way better odds. Thursday evening, pretty good. Saturday night?
Forget it, she's either out or she's decided she's staying in and you're not changing that.
It's simple pattern recognition.
Think about when you're most open to meeting someone new versus when you're just going through the motions or feeling cynical about the whole thing.
❤1
The Hard Truth About Effort
Here's where people get it completely backwards.
They think more effort equals better results. So they write longer messages. They reference more details from the profile. They want to show how much attention they paid, how thoughtful they are and then they're shocked when it backfires.
The best openers I've ever sent took me maybe thirty seconds to write. They were usually one sentence, sometimes two. They made her smile or think "okay, this person gets it" and that was enough.
The effort should be invisible. You absolutely should look at her profile and find something real to connect with, don't be lazy but then you need to make your message feel spontaneous, not like you workshopped it in Google Docs for fifteen minutes.
Nobody wants to feel like they're the reason someone's putting on a performance.
I remember this one time I spent like twenty minutes crafting what I thought was the perfect opener. I referenced three different things from her profile, made a callback to a meme she'd posted, asked a thoughtful question. It was chef's kiss level stuff in my head.
No response.
A week later I matched with someone else, saw she mentioned loving breakfast food, and just sent: "Pancakes or waffles. This is a test."
She responded in two minutes and we ended up dating for four months.
WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW
Stop sending messages you think are "good."
Start sending messages that are impossible to ignore because they're specific, low-friction, and actually sound like you.
Look at the last five messages you sent that got ignored. I bet at least three of them were more generic than you realized.
I bet at least two asked her to do too much work and I bet all five of them sounded like you were trying to impress someone instead of just talking to them.
Try this experiment: next time you match with someone, don't message them immediately. Look at their profile for ten seconds max. Find one specific detail that you actually have something to say about, not a question about it, not a compliment, just a quick reaction that shows you noticed. One sentence. Hit send without overthinking it. See what happens.
You'll be shocked at how much better one sentence that sounds like you works compared to three paragraphs that sound like everyone else and if she doesn't respond?
She wasn't going to respond anyway. At least you didn't waste twenty minutes.
-MOS
Here's where people get it completely backwards.
They think more effort equals better results. So they write longer messages. They reference more details from the profile. They want to show how much attention they paid, how thoughtful they are and then they're shocked when it backfires.
The best openers I've ever sent took me maybe thirty seconds to write. They were usually one sentence, sometimes two. They made her smile or think "okay, this person gets it" and that was enough.
The effort should be invisible. You absolutely should look at her profile and find something real to connect with, don't be lazy but then you need to make your message feel spontaneous, not like you workshopped it in Google Docs for fifteen minutes.
Nobody wants to feel like they're the reason someone's putting on a performance.
I remember this one time I spent like twenty minutes crafting what I thought was the perfect opener. I referenced three different things from her profile, made a callback to a meme she'd posted, asked a thoughtful question. It was chef's kiss level stuff in my head.
No response.
A week later I matched with someone else, saw she mentioned loving breakfast food, and just sent: "Pancakes or waffles. This is a test."
She responded in two minutes and we ended up dating for four months.
WHAT TO DO RIGHT NOW
Stop sending messages you think are "good."
Start sending messages that are impossible to ignore because they're specific, low-friction, and actually sound like you.
Look at the last five messages you sent that got ignored. I bet at least three of them were more generic than you realized.
I bet at least two asked her to do too much work and I bet all five of them sounded like you were trying to impress someone instead of just talking to them.
Try this experiment: next time you match with someone, don't message them immediately. Look at their profile for ten seconds max. Find one specific detail that you actually have something to say about, not a question about it, not a compliment, just a quick reaction that shows you noticed. One sentence. Hit send without overthinking it. See what happens.
You'll be shocked at how much better one sentence that sounds like you works compared to three paragraphs that sound like everyone else and if she doesn't respond?
She wasn't going to respond anyway. At least you didn't waste twenty minutes.
-MOS
👍3
Q&A TIME
Drop your dating/relationship questions below.
Anything goes.
I'll answer the best ones throughout the night.
Go.
Drop your dating/relationship questions below.
Anything goes.
I'll answer the best ones throughout the night.
Go.
🔥 DAY 4: START A CONVERSATION 🔥
Today's mission: Start 2 brief conversations with strangers (doesn't have to be women you're attracted to).
Could be:
- Asking someone for directions
- Commenting on something in your environment
- Asking a barista a question beyond your order
Goal: Get comfortable talking to people. Remove the pressure.
Social skills are a muscle. Work it.
'DAY 4 DONE ✅' when complete.
Today's mission: Start 2 brief conversations with strangers (doesn't have to be women you're attracted to).
Could be:
- Asking someone for directions
- Commenting on something in your environment
- Asking a barista a question beyond your order
Goal: Get comfortable talking to people. Remove the pressure.
Social skills are a muscle. Work it.
'DAY 4 DONE ✅' when complete.
👍6
Thankful for this group and everyone actually putting in the work on this challenge.
Seeing a lot of you completing the daily missions.
That's how you actually change your life - small actions, daily consistency.
Keep going.
Seeing a lot of you completing the daily missions.
That's how you actually change your life - small actions, daily consistency.
Keep going.
👍5
🔥 DAY 5: THE OPENER 🔥
Today: Approach 1 woman you find attractive and start a conversation. Doesn't matter what you say.
Simple openers that work:
- 'Hey, I noticed you and wanted to say hi. I'm [name]'
- 'Excuse me, I think you're cute. What's your name?'
- Situational: 'That book looks interesting, what's it about?'
Say SOMETHING. Get experience. Doesn't matter if it goes anywhere.
This is the most important day so far.
Don't skip it.
'DAY 5 DONE ✅'
Today: Approach 1 woman you find attractive and start a conversation. Doesn't matter what you say.
Simple openers that work:
- 'Hey, I noticed you and wanted to say hi. I'm [name]'
- 'Excuse me, I think you're cute. What's your name?'
- Situational: 'That book looks interesting, what's it about?'
Say SOMETHING. Get experience. Doesn't matter if it goes anywhere.
This is the most important day so far.
Don't skip it.
'DAY 5 DONE ✅'
👍5
🔥 BLACK FRIDAY BUNDLE🔥
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What's included:
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✅ Attraction Formula ($24) - How to create attraction
✅ Cold Approach Guide ($24) - Meet women anywhere
✅ Text Guide ($24) - Turn matches into dates
Total value: $109
Black Friday price: $67
You save: $42
This is everything you need to transform your dating life:
- Cold approach frameworks that work
- Text game that gets dates
- Attraction principles that create chemistry
Sale ends Monday Dec 2 at midnight.
https://manofstxxx.gumroad.com/l/serhd
Code: BLACKFRIDAY2025
Or get individual products at 40% off:
- Ultimate Dating Bundle: $22
- Attraction Formula: $14
- Cold Approach Guide: $14
- Text Guide: $14
Your choice.
Don't sleep on this.
For the next 72 hours, get ALL my products for $67.
What's included:
✅ Ultimate Dating Bundle ($37) - Complete dating system
✅ Attraction Formula ($24) - How to create attraction
✅ Cold Approach Guide ($24) - Meet women anywhere
✅ Text Guide ($24) - Turn matches into dates
Total value: $109
Black Friday price: $67
You save: $42
This is everything you need to transform your dating life:
- Cold approach frameworks that work
- Text game that gets dates
- Attraction principles that create chemistry
Sale ends Monday Dec 2 at midnight.
https://manofstxxx.gumroad.com/l/serhd
Code: BLACKFRIDAY2025
Or get individual products at 40% off:
- Ultimate Dating Bundle: $22
- Attraction Formula: $14
- Cold Approach Guide: $14
- Text Guide: $14
Your choice.
Don't sleep on this.
Gumroad
The Ultimate Bundle
The Complete Dating Transformation System: Everything You Need to Go From Zero Dates to Dating AbundanceGet All 4 Products for $67 (Normally $109)Black Friday Sale Ends Monday, December 2nd at Midn...
Field Report Friday:
Was at the coffee shop earlier.
Saw a dude approach a girl. His opener? 'Are you single?'
She said no and he walked away immediately.
The problem is simple: He led with the outcome. He made it transactional.
Better approach: Start a normal conversation. Build a vibe. THEN escalate.
'Hey, I'm working on my laptop and needed a break. What are you reading?'
See the difference?
One is desperate.
One is natural.
Stop leading with your dick.
Lead with curiosity and confidence.
Was at the coffee shop earlier.
Saw a dude approach a girl. His opener? 'Are you single?'
She said no and he walked away immediately.
The problem is simple: He led with the outcome. He made it transactional.
Better approach: Start a normal conversation. Build a vibe. THEN escalate.
'Hey, I'm working on my laptop and needed a break. What are you reading?'
See the difference?
One is desperate.
One is natural.
Stop leading with your dick.
Lead with curiosity and confidence.
💯2
🔥 DAY 6: WEEKEND WARRIOR 🔥
Weekend mission: Approach 2 women today. Get their reactions. Learn from it.
You've built up to this all week. You can do it.
Bonus: If you get a number, screenshot it (blur her info) and DM me. I'll review your text game for free.
'DAY 6 DONE ✅'
Weekend mission: Approach 2 women today. Get their reactions. Learn from it.
You've built up to this all week. You can do it.
Bonus: If you get a number, screenshot it (blur her info) and DM me. I'll review your text game for free.
'DAY 6 DONE ✅'
🔥4
WIN OF THE WEEK
Drop your biggest win from this week below 👇
Did you:
- Complete all 6 challenge days?
- Get a number?
- Have a successful date?
- Finally approach someone?
Let's celebrate.
Best win gets featured in tomorrow's post.
Drop your biggest win from this week below 👇
Did you:
- Complete all 6 challenge days?
- Get a number?
- Have a successful date?
- Finally approach someone?
Let's celebrate.
Best win gets featured in tomorrow's post.
🔥 DAY 7: REST & REFLECT🔥
No mission today.
This is your rest day but here's your homework:
Reflect on the week:
- What did you learn?
- What felt uncomfortable?
- What got easier?
- What are you avoiding?
Write it down.
Self-awareness is how you grow.
Tomorrow we level up.
No mission today.
This is your rest day but here's your homework:
Reflect on the week:
- What did you learn?
- What felt uncomfortable?
- What got easier?
- What are you avoiding?
Write it down.
Self-awareness is how you grow.
Tomorrow we level up.
👍3
THE IRON CIRCLE pinned «🔥 BLACK FRIDAY BUNDLE🔥 For the next 72 hours, get ALL my products for $67. What's included: ✅ Ultimate Dating Bundle ($37) - Complete dating system ✅ Attraction Formula ($24) - How to create attraction ✅ Cold Approach Guide ($24) - Meet women anywhere ✅…»
🔥 DAY 8: THE NUMBER CLOSE 🔥
Today's mission: Approach 1 woman and ask for her number.
It doesn't matter if the conversation is perfect.
Just:
1. Start the conversation
2. Talk for 2-3 minutes
3. Say: 'I gotta run, but I'd like to continue this. What's your number?'
That's it.
If she says no, who cares.
You're building reference experiences.
'DAY 8 DONE ✅ (+ 📱 if you got the number)'
Today's mission: Approach 1 woman and ask for her number.
It doesn't matter if the conversation is perfect.
Just:
1. Start the conversation
2. Talk for 2-3 minutes
3. Say: 'I gotta run, but I'd like to continue this. What's your number?'
That's it.
If she says no, who cares.
You're building reference experiences.
'DAY 8 DONE ✅ (+ 📱 if you got the number)'
❤4🔥4😘1
Most guys never ask for the number.
They have a good conversation, vibe with her, then... just walk away.
Why?
Fear of rejection.
Look, she's probably WAITING for you to ask. If you don't, she thinks you're not interested or you're a pussy.
Ask for the number.
Worst case: She says no and you never see her again anyway.
Best case: You've got a date lined up.
Stop self-rejecting.
They have a good conversation, vibe with her, then... just walk away.
Why?
Fear of rejection.
Look, she's probably WAITING for you to ask. If you don't, she thinks you're not interested or you're a pussy.
Ask for the number.
Worst case: She says no and you never see her again anyway.
Best case: You've got a date lined up.
Stop self-rejecting.
❤1
🔥 DAY 9: ENVIRONMENT SWITCH 🔥
Today: Approach someone in a NEW environment.
If you've been doing coffee shops, try a bookstore.
If you've been doing bars, try daytime on the street.
If you've been doing gym, try a park.
Different environments = different energy.
Expand your comfort zone.
1 approach minimum.
'DAY 9 DONE ✅'
Today: Approach someone in a NEW environment.
If you've been doing coffee shops, try a bookstore.
If you've been doing bars, try daytime on the street.
If you've been doing gym, try a park.
Different environments = different energy.
Expand your comfort zone.
1 approach minimum.
'DAY 9 DONE ✅'
🔥7
SHOUTOUT OF THE WEEK
Big respect to everyone who completed all 9 days this week.
Special shoutout to @vane478 who went from being nervous to make eye contact to actually approaching and getting numbers (5 so far).
This is what happens when you actually DO THE WORK.
If you haven't started the challenge yet, jump in tomorrow. We're just getting started.
Big respect to everyone who completed all 9 days this week.
Special shoutout to @vane478 who went from being nervous to make eye contact to actually approaching and getting numbers (5 so far).
This is what happens when you actually DO THE WORK.
If you haven't started the challenge yet, jump in tomorrow. We're just getting started.
🔥3❤1