Most guys have the tendency of not following/doing these steps I mentioned and at the end of the date, the escalation wasn't in place and it almost feels uncomfortable trying to go for the kiss.

Most men don't escalate in baby steps throughout the date...this makes it hard to kiss the girl towards the end of the date.

If you are teasing, flirting, touching then it makes sense for the kiss to happen at some point.

At some point in the date, if things have been going very well and you do end up pulling which means you're going to end up back at your place.

YOUR PLACE

The last thing you want to do when you bring a girl home is to take her straight to the bedroom even if you feel it's on, there is no point in taking her straight to the bedroom.

I recommend the escalation happens outside the bedroom first (couch) cause bringing her straight to the bedroom is going to raise her anti-slut defense about whether to have sex with you or not then there is going to be resistance and objections (which is not a good thing) especially when she is not very aroused.

Make her feel comfortable by staying in the living room (couch) but if it is just your bedroom then you should set your room in a way that she can sit elsewhere instead of the bed so it doesn't trigger sex right now.

From there, this is where the last little bit of escalation is going to take place, ideally, we have gotten a lot closer to her and even kissed her (from the date).

You are going to escalate with her on your couch and take your time, slow buildup, taking two steps forward and one step backward.

Don't try to force it

Besides working on your game and having good game, the key to dating top-tier women is also about:

- Achieving financial stability without being consumed by work.

- Traveling and engaging in masculine hobbies, along with socializing.

- Sharing your lifestyle on social media by documenting your experiences regularly, thus gaining more reach.

- Surrounding yourself with other quality men and wingmen on the same path

Sixth part of the series

Forgot to post the fifth one here (my bad 😔)

Check it out

Manofstxxx.substack.com

Most y'all are not playing nearly enough mind games with yourselves.

Failure to reach a goal should get you some kind of punishment, even if it's "not your fault".

Otherwise you will always chicken out and then convince yourself outside factors are to blame.

Did not meet any hot girls to talk to naturally today?

Now you have to go to the mall and do a forced attempt almost sure to fail.

See how fast you will start finding more chances to talk during the day.

A failed hunt always meant hunger for the primal man.

Listen up.

International Men's Day isn't about complaining or playing victim.

It's about recognizing that being a man in 2025 comes with real challenges and stepping up anyway.

Yeah, the world sends mixed signals. Yeah, it's confusing sometimes but you know what?

Excuses are easy.

Growth is hard.

Choose hard.

Stop waiting for permission to work on yourself.

Nobody's coming to save you.

That work you've been putting off? Do it. That gym membership collecting dust? Use it. That skill you want to learn? Start today.

Your feelings are valid, but they're not an excuse to stay stuck.

Feel them, process them, then get back to work.

Real strength isn't suffering in silence. It's asking for help when you need it. It's admitting you don't know something (or everything).

It's being man enough to be vulnerable with people who've earned your trust.

Stop measuring yourself against Instagram highlight reels.

The only person you need to be better than is who you were yesterday.

To the men struggling right now: I see you. Your mental health matters. Your pain is real but don't let it become your identity. You're capable of more than you think.

To the men doing the work: Keep going. Building yourself (physically, mentally, financially, spiritually) is the most important project you'll ever work on.

The world needs strong men who are also good men.

Take care of your body. Protect your mind. Build real friendships. Be reliable. Keep your word. Show up for people who matter.

You're not here to have it easy. You're here to be strong enough to handle hard things with grace.

Now get off your phone and go do something that your future self will thank you for.

Happy International Men's Day. 🤝

Last part of the series

Check it out

Manofstxxx.substack.com

30-DAY COLD APPROACH CHALLENGE STARTS MONDAY🔥

Alright, listen up.

Most of you are stuck.

You want results with women but you're not taking action.

You're consuming content, watching videos, reading posts but not actually DOING anything.

That ends Monday.

I'm launching a 30-Day Cold Approach Challenge.

Every single day, I'll give you a mission. Small, achievable, progressive tasks that build your confidence and skills.

Day 1 will be stupid easy. Even the most anxious guy here can do it.

By Day 30, you'll be approaching women without thinking twice.

HERE'S HOW IT WORKS:

Every morning at 9 AM,

I'll post your daily mission.

Your job: Complete it.

Comment "DAY X DONE ✅" when you finish.

That's it.

No excuses.

No "I'll do it tomorrow."

No overthinking.

Just do the mission and check in.

THE REWARDS:

This isn't just about building skills.

I'm rewarding the guys who actually put in the work.

LEVEL 1 - FINISHER REWARDS:

Complete at least 25 out of 30 days + share your final results on Dec 23

You get:
- $20 discount code for ANY of my products
- Lifetime access to The Iron Circle - an exclusive private group for action-takers only (this group doesn't exist yet, you'll be founding members)

LEVEL 2 - TOP 3 TRANSFORMATIONS:

Complete all 30 days + submit proof of your results

Top 3 get:
- Featured transformation story (I'll showcase your journey to the entire channel)
- FREE 1-on-1 profile review ($50 value)
- Everything from Level 1

HOW TO QUALIFY:

1. Comment "DAY X DONE ✅" on each daily challenge post
2. On Dec 23, comment your final stats:
- Total approaches you did
- Total numbers you got
- Biggest lesson learned
3. For Top 3 consideration: DM me proof (can be screenshots, photos with faces blurred, or a short summary of your journey)

I'm tracking who shows up and who doesn't.

Don't try to fake it. I'll be checking.

If you comment "DONE" without actually doing the missions, you're only cheating yourself and you won't qualify for rewards.

There will be spot checks.

I might randomly DM people asking about their approaches. Be ready to back up your claims.

WHO THIS IS FOR:

This challenge is for guys who:
- Want to actually change, not just talk about it
- Are willing to be uncomfortable
- Can handle rejection
- Will show up every single day

This is NOT for:
- Guys who just want to consume content
- Guys who make excuses
- Guys who will quit after Day 3
- Guys who aren't serious

THE STAKES:

30 days from now, you'll be one of two people:

Person A: You completed the challenge. You approached dozens of women. You got numbers. You went on dates. You built real confidence. You have skills that will serve you for life.

Person B: You made excuses. You quit early. You're still exactly where you are today - stuck, frustrated, and alone.

Which person will you be?

THE COMMITMENT:

If you're in, comment below: "I'M IN 🔥"

That's your public commitment. You're telling everyone here you're serious.

When it gets hard (and it will), I'll remind you of this comment.

CHALLENGE STARTS MONDAY, NOV 24 AT 9 AM

Day 1 mission drops then.

Make sure notifications are ON for this channel. You don't want to miss a day.

This is your chance to transform your dating life in 30 days.

Most of you won't finish.

Most of you will make excuses.

Prove me wrong.

Who's actually in?

Drop "I'M IN 🔥" below.

Let's fucking go.

Field Report from last night:

Saw a guy at the bar completely fumble an approach.

Girl was clearly interested - laughing, playing with her hair, leaning in.

His mistake?

He interviewed her for 20 minutes straight. 'Where are you from? What do you do? Do you come here often?'

She literally yawned and said she needed to find her friends.

Lesson: Stop interviewing. Start vibing. Make statements, tease her, create tension. Save the resume questions for LinkedIn.

If you're doing this, you're boring her to death.

Mindset: The Abundance Mentality Isn't Bullshit - Here's How To Actually Build It

Every dating coach on the planet tells you to "develop an abundance mentality."

Stop being desperate.

Stop putting women on a pedestal.

Act like you have options even when you don't and you nod along because it makes sense, and then you go back to checking your phone every three minutes to see if she texted back, because apparently understanding a concept and actually living it are two completely different fucking things.

I used to think abundance mentality was just a cope.

Something confident people told less confident people to make them feel bad about their situation.

"Just believe you have options, bro!"

Okay, but what if I objectively don't have options?

What if I haven't been on a date in four months and the last three matches I got all unmatched me after two messages?

How exactly am I supposed to feel abundant when the evidence suggests I'm running a scarcity operation?

Here's what actually changed for me, and it took way longer than I want to admit: abundance mentality isn't about pretending you have more romantic options than you do. It's about genuinely believing like, actually believing that your happiness and worth aren't dependent on any single person saying yes to you.

That sounds like a tiny distinction.

It's everything.

You know that feeling when you match with someone you're actually excited about?

Not just another match, but someone who seems cool, attractive, has their shit together?

Suddenly your whole mood shifts.

The day feels better. You start imagining conversations you haven't had yet.

You check to see if she's been active.

You craft your first message like you're defusing a bomb, one wrong word and it all blows up and if she doesn't respond, or if the conversation dies after three messages, you feel like you lost something even though you never actually had it in the first place.

That's scarcity mentality in action and the brutal part is that she can feel it through the screen. Not because you said anything wrong, but because desperation has a frequency and people pick up on it without even knowing why. They just know something feels off.

I've watched this happen to friends in real time.

They'll match with a girl, get way too invested before even meeting her, text too much, read way too much into every little thing she says, and then act genuinely confused when she loses interest.

"But we had such good chemistry!" No, you had good chemistry with the version of her you made up in your head based on six messages and a fantasy.

The standard advice is to "fake it till you make it."

Act abundant even when you're not.

Play it cool.

Don't text back right away.

Wait three hours minimum.

Make her think you've got other options, even if you're sitting there staring at your phone the whole time.

Butit doesn't work because you're still operating from scarcity. You're just putting a mask on it.

You're playing games because you're afraid of losing something you don't have and that fear still seeps through in a thousand tiny ways, how you phrase things, what you're willing to tolerate, how quickly you compromise your own standards because you don't want to blow your one chance.

Real abundance isn't a performance.

It's a baseline state where you genuinely believe you'll be fine either way.

Not "I'll pretend I'll be fine."

Actually fine.

How To Actually Build An Abundance Mentality (The Unsexy Truth)

This is where people tune out because they want a mindset hack or a perspective shift they can implement in five minutes.

Some affirmation they can repeat in the mirror.

A trick to rewire their brain but real abundance mentality comes from building a life you actually like living, so that dating becomes something that adds to it rather than something you need to feel whole.

I know.

That sounds like self-help book garbage but it's just true, and I fought this reality for years before I accepted it.

First: Fix the variables you can control.

You can't control how many matches you get or who responds but you can control whether you're in decent shape, whether your photos actually show your personality, whether you have interesting things going on in your life beyond work and scrolling.

Most people skip this part because it requires actual sustained effort over months, and then they wonder why affirmations and visualization exercises don't do shit.

I started getting way less attached to individual outcomes when I started doing things that made me like myself more and I don't mean that in some abstract spiritual way. I mean I started lifting consistently, picked up a hobby I'd been putting off (drawing, if you're curious, it's awesome), and stopped spending every weekend getting drunk with the same three people having the same conversations.

When you're actively working on things that matter to you, rejection stings way less because you've got momentum elsewhere.

You're not sitting around waiting for dating to give your life meaning.

Second: Date multiple people at once, even if it feels weird.

I don't mean lead people on or be dishonest. I mean don't put all your emotional eggs in one basket before you've even met someone in person.

If you're talking to three people casually, you're not going to spiral into an existential crisis when one of them ghosts.

You'll just think "well, that's a bummer" and move on with your day.

This was really uncomfortable for me at first because I felt like I was being disingenuous or playing games but then I realized: (a) the women I was talking to were definitely doing the same thing, and (b) it's actually the healthier approach.

You're not building someone up into something they're not based on limited information. You're just getting to know different people and seeing what develops naturally.

The scarcity approach is talking to one person at a time, getting super invested, and then being devastated when it doesn't work out.

The abundance approach is staying open until someone actually earns your focus through consistency and compatibility, not just potential.

Third: Get okay with rejection being information, not judgment.

This is the hardest one.

Every time someone doesn't respond or a date doesn't go anywhere, your brain wants to make it mean something about you.

You're not attractive enough. You're not interesting enough. You're too short, too boring, too whatever.

You said the wrong thing at the wrong time and now you'll be alone forever.

Sometimes that's partially true, maybe you did say something off-putting or you need to work on your conversation skills.

Most of the time it's not.

Most of the time it means she wasn't feeling it, or she's talking to someone else she likes more, or her ex texted her that morning, or she's going through something, or you're just not her type, or a thousand other things that have absolutely nothing to do with your inherent worth as a person.

When I started treating rejection as data instead of a verdict on my entire existence, everything changed. "Okay, that approach didn't land, what can I try differently next time?" or "She wasn't into me, cool, next" instead of spiraling into "I'm clearly defective and will die alone surrounded by cats, and I don't even like cats."

The weird part that everyone notices but nobody can quite explain is that the less you need dating to work out, the better it actually works out.

Not because the universe is rewarding your detachment or some cosmic karma bullshit but because you stop doing all the needy, desperate things that push people away.

You become more selective because you're not just grateful someone matched with you, you're actually considering whether you even like them.

You're more willing to walk away from situations that don't feel right because you trust there will be others.

You stop tolerating bad behavior because you're not terrified of being alone.

And ironically, that makes you way more attractive. Not in a manipulative "play hard to get" way, but in a genuine "this person has their shit together and isn't going to make me responsible for their happiness" way.

People can sense when you don't need them and paradoxically, that makes them want to be around you more.

What This Actually Looks Like In Practice

Real abundance mentality means you can go on a great first date with someone you're genuinely excited about and still not text them immediately after because you've got other shit going on in your life. Not because you're playing games, but because you actually do have other shit going on.

It means you can be interested in someone without making them the center of your emotional world before you even know if they're worth that position.

It means you can handle someone not being into you without it ruining your entire week or making you question your value.

It doesn't mean you don't care. It doesn't mean you're cold or emotionally unavailable.

It means you care about your whole life, not just the parts that involve romantic validation from someone you've known for eight days.

There was this girl I went on three dates with last year. Great conversation, good chemistry, I was definitely into her. Then she texted me saying she'd reconnected with her ex and was going to try to make it work. Old me would've been crushed. Would've spent days analyzing what I did wrong, wondering if I wasn't enough.

New me? I was disappointed for like an hour, then I texted back "Hey, I get it. Good luck with that," and moved on with my day. Because I had a drawing project I was excited about, plans with friends that weekend, and a couple other conversations going that might turn into something.

That's abundance. Not "I don't care." But "I'll be good either way."

CONCLUSION

Stop trying to trick yourself into feeling abundant when you're not.

Actually become the kind of person who has options and those options include being genuinely happy alone or being genuinely happy with someone, not just tolerating being alone until someone rescues you from it.

Build a life that's full enough that dating is an addition, not a solution.

Talk to multiple people so you're not obsessing over one.

Treat rejection as information, not a referendum on your entire existence and for the love of god, stop pretending you're busy or uninterested when you're actually sitting there spiraling, just actually become busy with shit that matters to you.

That's not a mindset trick you can install in an afternoon.

That's just how reality hits different when you're standing on solid ground instead of constantly trying not to drown.

And yeah, it takes time but so does being miserable and desperate.

At least this way you end up with a better life regardless of whether dating works out.

-MOS

Your dating app profile is probably killing your results without you knowing it.

3 photos that instantly tank your matches:

1. Gym selfies - Screams insecurity and "I have no friends to take my photo"
2. Group photos where you're not the best looking guy - She's swiping right on your friend, not you
3. Photos with other women - You think it shows pre-selection. It just confuses her or makes her think you're taken.

Delete these.

Replace with: You doing something interesting, good lighting, genuine smile, with friends where YOU stand out.

Your matches will go up this week.

Monday, Nov 24 - CHALLENGE DAY 1

🔥 30-DAY COLD APPROACH CHALLENGE - DAY 1 🔥

Today's Mission: Make direct eye contact with 5 women today and hold it for 2-3 seconds.

That's it.

Don't say anything.

Don't approach.

Just eye contact.

If she looks away first - you win.

If she smiles - even better.

If she holds it - you're doing it right.

This builds the foundation.

Most guys can't even do this without looking away like a scared puppy.

Complete this and comment 'DAY 1 DONE ✅' below.

Let's go.

How many of you actually did Day 1?

Don't lie to yourself.

If you didn't do it, you're not serious about changing your dating life.

Tomorrow gets slightly harder.

Show up.

DAY 2: SMILE MISSION 🔥

Today's mission: Smile at 3 women. Genuine smile, not a creepy smirk.

When you make eye contact, smile.

That's it.

Notice what happens.

Most will smile back.

Some will look away.

A few might even say hi.

You're building the muscle of being non-threatening and approachable.

Do it.

Comment 'DAY 2 DONE ✅' when you finish.

A lot of you are crushing the challenge so far.

Love to see it.

Understand that eye contact and smiles are just the warm-up.

If you want the complete system for actually TALKING to women, getting numbers, and turning those into dates and lays, I've got something for you.

My Ultimate Dating Bundle ($37) has everything:
- Cold approach frameworks
- Text game strategies
- First date to physical escalation
- Handling objections and tests

Link in bio.

Grab it if you're serious.

(If you already have it and aren't using it... wtf are you waiting for?)

🔥 DAY 3: THE COMPLIMENT 🔥

Today: Give 2 women a genuine compliment. Not creepy. Not sexual.

Examples:
- 'I like your jacket'
- 'That's a cool phone case'
- 'Your dog is adorable'

Say it, smile, and KEEP WALKING. Don't wait for a response. Don't hover.

This teaches you that talking to women isn't a big deal. It's just... talking.

Do it.

Comment 'DAY 3 DONE ✅

Why Your First Message Gets Ignored (And How To Fix It)

You spent twenty minutes crafting that opening message.

You referenced something from her profile.

You asked a thoughtful question.

You didn't say anything creepy or weird.

You hit send feeling pretty good about it.

And then... nothing.

Not even a "thanks but no thanks."

Just radio silence, like you shouted into a cave and the cave gave you the finger.

Nobody wants to admit but... your message probably wasn't bad. It might've even been good but it didn't matter, because she never actually read it. Or she read the first five words, got a weird vibe she couldn't explain, and swiped away before your carefully constructed question even had a chance.

I've been on both sides of this. I've sent messages that I was sure were home runs and got absolutely nothing. I've also had women tell me months later "I was about to delete the app and then I saw your message and thought okay, one more." Lol

The difference between those two outcomes? It wasn't what I said. It was everything around what I said.

Let's get brutally honest about the landscape.

If you're a guy messaging women on dating apps, you're not competing against ten other guys.

You're competing against fifty, a hundred, sometimes way more and she's not sitting there eagerly waiting to read every single message with an open heart and mind.

She's tired.

She just got off work.

She's got 47 unread messages and honestly she's not even sure why she's still on this app.

Three guys have already sent her something that made her skin crawl.

Two more sent "hey."

Another one wrote a fucking dissertation about his thoughts on Jordan Peterson.

She opened Hinge because she was bored, not because she was optimistic.

Your message needs to survive a two-second gut check.

That's it.

Two seconds.

She's not analyzing your wit or emotional intelligence in those two seconds.

She's just deciding if engaging with you sounds exhausting or not and that decision is based almost entirely on things that have nothing to do with your actual words.

The Three Invisible Killers

First killer: Your photos already told a story, and your message didn't match it.

If your photos look
low-effort and your message sounds too smooth, she doesn't trust it. If your photos are all nightclub bathroom selfies and your message sounds like you're applying for a job, something feels off.

People make up a story about who you are in about three seconds of looking at your profile. If your message contradicts that story in a way that feels fake, their brain just goes "nah" and they move on.

I fucked this up for years. My photos made me look super serious (because I thought that looked mature or whatever), but then I'd send these goofy messages and girls would just... not respond. It wasn't until someone told me "your vibe is confusing" that I realized the issue wasn't my opener.

Second killer: Your message requires too much energy.

You asked a question that requires her to think about her answer.

You referenced something obscure from her profile that she now has to remember the context for.

You wrote four sentences when one would've worked.

Every extra word, every extra mental calculation you're asking her to make, is friction and friction kills responses dead.

Think about it from her perspective. She's got limited time and limited patience. If responding to you feels like homework, she's not doing it.

She'll respond to the guy whose message she can answer in five seconds without thinking.

Third killer: You sound exactly like someone.

Maybe you sound like the guy who seemed sweet at first but then sent her 18 messages in a row when she didn't respond for an hour.

Maybe you sound like her ex who always had to make everything clever.

Maybe you sound like the last three guys who matched with her today.

If your message triggers a pattern she's seen before, especially a bad one, you're done before you started.

What Actually Works (And Why It Feels Wrong At First)