One thing I secretly enjoy is noticing when my body is closed off and then playfully going the other way by opening up as wide as I can and taking up as much space as possible.
You can literally see how the people near you react when you do this.
Girls will start facing you and showing signs they’re interested.
Guys will either become more friendly or tense up, acting like they’re responding to your new display of confidence.
Here’s a pic as an example.
I’m never super closed off, but sometimes I do sit with my legs too close or slouch a bit.
Then I’ll do something like the position on the right and fully open up.
At first, you might think this is fake confidence or showing off.
I used to think so too but it’s not, because once you open your body like that, you actually start feeling better and more sure of yourself.
You can literally see how the people near you react when you do this.
Girls will start facing you and showing signs they’re interested.
Guys will either become more friendly or tense up, acting like they’re responding to your new display of confidence.
Here’s a pic as an example.
I’m never super closed off, but sometimes I do sit with my legs too close or slouch a bit.
Then I’ll do something like the position on the right and fully open up.
At first, you might think this is fake confidence or showing off.
I used to think so too but it’s not, because once you open your body like that, you actually start feeling better and more sure of yourself.
❤8👏2
You’re telling the world:
“Here I am. You get to see me now” (that word matters because it makes the world respond to you like you’re the prize, not the one chasing)
Instead of:
“Please don’t notice me, I don’t want people looking at me…”
The more open and bold you are, the better the effect.
For the example in the picture, I’d even go further stretch your legs out more, lift your chest, lean back, and push your hips forward a bit to really own the space.
This only feels fake or like you’re acting tough if your mindset doesn’t also shift after doing it.
If how you speak matches how you move, then it’s real even if it feels weird at first.
It took me a little while to feel normal doing this years ago.
Now it feels totally natural.
And yes, doing this will make some guys feel really uneasy lol
You might even get a few haters who try hard to call you insecure and bring you down when you do it lol
But that part’s actually fun.
Start messing with them and really play the role.
Go chat with the girl they’re talking to (who’s already been sneaking looks at you), and start joking and teasing her like you’re the prize and just watch the guy get mad, jealous, or salty.
Unless he’s really smooth and can shift the energy, he’s going to lose the moment (and if you’re clever, you can block that shift too).
This becomes a kind of game.
From: “Just doing my thing, a little closed off right now”
To:
“I’m that guy. You don’t stand a chance. My charm is too strong. Let’s see how easy it is to influence everyone for fun.”
“Here I am. You get to see me now” (that word matters because it makes the world respond to you like you’re the prize, not the one chasing)
Instead of:
“Please don’t notice me, I don’t want people looking at me…”
The more open and bold you are, the better the effect.
For the example in the picture, I’d even go further stretch your legs out more, lift your chest, lean back, and push your hips forward a bit to really own the space.
This only feels fake or like you’re acting tough if your mindset doesn’t also shift after doing it.
If how you speak matches how you move, then it’s real even if it feels weird at first.
It took me a little while to feel normal doing this years ago.
Now it feels totally natural.
And yes, doing this will make some guys feel really uneasy lol
You might even get a few haters who try hard to call you insecure and bring you down when you do it lol
But that part’s actually fun.
Start messing with them and really play the role.
Go chat with the girl they’re talking to (who’s already been sneaking looks at you), and start joking and teasing her like you’re the prize and just watch the guy get mad, jealous, or salty.
Unless he’s really smooth and can shift the energy, he’s going to lose the moment (and if you’re clever, you can block that shift too).
This becomes a kind of game.
From: “Just doing my thing, a little closed off right now”
To:
“I’m that guy. You don’t stand a chance. My charm is too strong. Let’s see how easy it is to influence everyone for fun.”
❤3👏1
THE “FAST BURN” TRAP
Why texting too much, too fast, ruins the vibe and what to do instead
You meet a girl and hit it off.
She’s smiling.
She’s laughing.
She’s leaning in.
Maybe she touches your arm.
You feel the spark.
You’re thinking, “This is on.”
You get her number.
You walk away feeling like you’ve got it in the bag.
So the next day, you text her.
She replies: "Cool."
You keep the conversation going.
You text again.
She replies slower.
The energy feels different.
Then you double-text.
Now it takes her hours to respond, or she barely replies at all.
A few days pass, and you realize she’s gone cold.
It’s confusing.
Things were going so well.
You didn’t say anything wrong.
You were just being nice, right?
This is what I call the Fast Burn Trap.
It’s when a guy "lights the spark" in person but accidentally kills the tension over text.
It happens more than you think.
The reason is simple.
Most guys treat texting like a way to prove they’re interested, or to show they’re “nice” and not playing games.
But that same effort often ruins the emotional tension that made the interaction exciting in the first place.
Texting isn’t about proving yourself.
It’s about "keeping that spark alive."
The mistake most guys make is being too available.
They reply fast, text often, compliment too much, and try to schedule the next meet-up right away.
They’re outcome-focused and even though it comes from a good place, it ends up making the girl feel like the story is already over.
There’s no mystery.
No build-up.
No space for curiosity.
What a lot of guys don’t realize is: women fall for the feeling you give them, not the information you share.
When you text like a guy who’s already sold on her, you take away the fun of discovering each other.
She doesn’t need to figure you out.
She doesn’t get to wonder how much you like her.
She already knows and once she knows, there’s nothing left to chase.
This is why the guys who keep women interested over text usually do less, not more.
They don’t rush to reply.
They don’t text back-to-back.
They don’t talk just to talk.
They’re selective.
They text with purpose and most importantly, they know how to keep emotional tension alive.
That’s where the “make her wonder” principle comes in.
A man she chases doesn’t reveal everything up front.
He gives her just enough to stay curious, but never too much to feel like it’s already decided.
He’s playful but calm.
Interested but not eager.
Warm, but not always available.
He knows that a little bit of uncertainty makes things more exciting.
It’s not about playing games.
It’s about creating space for tension to grow.
Let me show you the difference.
Here’s how most guys text after a good first meeting:
It’s sweet.
It’s polite but it’s also predictable.
It gives everything away.
Now compare it to this:
That second message has edge.
It teases.
It creates tension.
It doesn’t try to please and most importantly, it makes her feel something.
Then you let it breathe.
You don’t follow up immediately.
You don’t explain yourself.
You don’t ask for plans right away.
You let her sit in that emotional space and wonder.
The real skill in texting is knowing when to pull back.
Knowing when to say less.
Knowing when to let silence work for you.
Because if you give her too much too soon, she’ll lose interest, not because you’re a bad texter, but because there’s nothing left to figure out.
Let her feel the gap.
Let her lean in.
Why texting too much, too fast, ruins the vibe and what to do instead
You meet a girl and hit it off.
She’s smiling.
She’s laughing.
She’s leaning in.
Maybe she touches your arm.
You feel the spark.
You’re thinking, “This is on.”
You get her number.
You walk away feeling like you’ve got it in the bag.
So the next day, you text her.
She replies: "Cool."
You keep the conversation going.
You text again.
She replies slower.
The energy feels different.
Then you double-text.
Now it takes her hours to respond, or she barely replies at all.
A few days pass, and you realize she’s gone cold.
It’s confusing.
Things were going so well.
You didn’t say anything wrong.
You were just being nice, right?
This is what I call the Fast Burn Trap.
It’s when a guy "lights the spark" in person but accidentally kills the tension over text.
It happens more than you think.
The reason is simple.
Most guys treat texting like a way to prove they’re interested, or to show they’re “nice” and not playing games.
But that same effort often ruins the emotional tension that made the interaction exciting in the first place.
Texting isn’t about proving yourself.
It’s about "keeping that spark alive."
The mistake most guys make is being too available.
They reply fast, text often, compliment too much, and try to schedule the next meet-up right away.
They’re outcome-focused and even though it comes from a good place, it ends up making the girl feel like the story is already over.
There’s no mystery.
No build-up.
No space for curiosity.
What a lot of guys don’t realize is: women fall for the feeling you give them, not the information you share.
When you text like a guy who’s already sold on her, you take away the fun of discovering each other.
She doesn’t need to figure you out.
She doesn’t get to wonder how much you like her.
She already knows and once she knows, there’s nothing left to chase.
This is why the guys who keep women interested over text usually do less, not more.
They don’t rush to reply.
They don’t text back-to-back.
They don’t talk just to talk.
They’re selective.
They text with purpose and most importantly, they know how to keep emotional tension alive.
That’s where the “make her wonder” principle comes in.
A man she chases doesn’t reveal everything up front.
He gives her just enough to stay curious, but never too much to feel like it’s already decided.
He’s playful but calm.
Interested but not eager.
Warm, but not always available.
He knows that a little bit of uncertainty makes things more exciting.
It’s not about playing games.
It’s about creating space for tension to grow.
Let me show you the difference.
Here’s how most guys text after a good first meeting:
“Hey had a great time, when can I see you again? :)”
It’s sweet.
It’s polite but it’s also predictable.
It gives everything away.
Now compare it to this:
“You’re trouble. I should probably avoid seeing you again…”
That second message has edge.
It teases.
It creates tension.
It doesn’t try to please and most importantly, it makes her feel something.
Then you let it breathe.
You don’t follow up immediately.
You don’t explain yourself.
You don’t ask for plans right away.
You let her sit in that emotional space and wonder.
The real skill in texting is knowing when to pull back.
Knowing when to say less.
Knowing when to let silence work for you.
Because if you give her too much too soon, she’ll lose interest, not because you’re a bad texter, but because there’s nothing left to figure out.
Let her feel the gap.
Let her lean in.
❤4
GOING ELITE MEANS GIVING UP APPROVAL-SEEKING
You approach a woman at a bar.
She’s stunning.
You’re calm, you deliver your opener, and it lands.
She smiles, laughs at your jokes, asks you questions.
Everything feels like it’s going well.
You walk away thinking, "I nailed that."
Then she flakes.
No reply to your follow-up text.
Nothing and you’re left wondering what went wrong.
This is where a lot of guys get stuck.
They think they’re doing all the right things.
They’ve watched the videos, practiced the lines, learned how to hold eye contact and mirror her body language but something invisible is still off.
The girl feels it, even if she can’t explain it and that something is often subtle approval-seeking.
Let’s be real.
Most men don’t walk around begging for approval in obvious ways.
They’re not desperate or clingy but even a little tension in your body when she’s not giving you positive feedback, even a quick smile to defuse an awkward moment, even explaining your intentions too much, these are all signs that deep down, you still want her approval more than you want to lead the interaction.
Subtle approval-seeking is slippery because it hides in normal behavior.
You might text her again because you "don’t want to leave her hanging."
You might explain your career choices because she gave you a raised eyebrow.
You might start talking faster when she looks bored, or ask if she’s okay when she goes quiet.
On the surface, all of that seems polite, engaged, even caring but underneath, it’s about needing her to like you.
You don’t need her to like you.
You need to stay grounded.
This is what separates elite men from average ones.
The average guy waits for green lights. He waits for signs she’s interested before he takes the next step. He watches her reactions closely. He adjusts based on how she’s feeling. If she pulls away, he backs off. If she leans in, he gets braver.
The elite man doesn’t wait. He moves forward with calibrated boldness. He’s not reckless but he’s not asking for permission either. He doesn’t watch her to see how he’s doing. He watches her to lead better.
The average guy explains himself. He overcommunicates. He wants her to know he’s a good guy, that he has goals, that he’s not like those other guys.
The elite man speaks when needed, listens when it matters, and lets his presence say everything. He knows the more he tries to prove, the less she feels.
This difference is subtle but women pick up on it fast especially the beautiful ones who have had a hundred guys try to win them over.
Silent neediness is the killer. It’s not what you say, it’s what you need her to feel about you. If you’re still looking to be liked, to be validated, to be chosen, she’ll feel it.
Even if your words are smooth.
Even if your posture is strong.
I once had a client who was good-looking, funny, and socially skilled but his results were all over the place.
Sometimes he crushed it.
Other times, he got ghosted.
We started reviewing his dates and interactions.
What kept showing up wasn’t anything obvious.
He wasn’t saying anything wrong.
He wasn’t making technical mistakes but when we slowed things down and looked deeper, you could see it, the little moments where he tried to win her over.
Where he was waiting for her response before deciding what he felt.
Where his voice tone would shift slightly when she wasn’t giving much.
When he stopped needing approval, everything changed.
He stopped texting to “check in.”
He stopped trying to get a reaction.
He started acting like a man who already knew his value, not a man hoping she would recognize it and women responded fast.
They leaned in.
They chased.
You can learn to do the same.
Let’s reframe flakiness.
Most guys take it personally.
They think they said something wrong or messed up the vibe but in many cases, it’s just an unconscious approval test.
She’s seeing how you respond when she pulls back.
If you chase harder, she loses interest.
If you stay centered and move on, she becomes curious.
You approach a woman at a bar.
She’s stunning.
You’re calm, you deliver your opener, and it lands.
She smiles, laughs at your jokes, asks you questions.
Everything feels like it’s going well.
You walk away thinking, "I nailed that."
Then she flakes.
No reply to your follow-up text.
Nothing and you’re left wondering what went wrong.
This is where a lot of guys get stuck.
They think they’re doing all the right things.
They’ve watched the videos, practiced the lines, learned how to hold eye contact and mirror her body language but something invisible is still off.
The girl feels it, even if she can’t explain it and that something is often subtle approval-seeking.
Let’s be real.
Most men don’t walk around begging for approval in obvious ways.
They’re not desperate or clingy but even a little tension in your body when she’s not giving you positive feedback, even a quick smile to defuse an awkward moment, even explaining your intentions too much, these are all signs that deep down, you still want her approval more than you want to lead the interaction.
Subtle approval-seeking is slippery because it hides in normal behavior.
You might text her again because you "don’t want to leave her hanging."
You might explain your career choices because she gave you a raised eyebrow.
You might start talking faster when she looks bored, or ask if she’s okay when she goes quiet.
On the surface, all of that seems polite, engaged, even caring but underneath, it’s about needing her to like you.
You don’t need her to like you.
You need to stay grounded.
This is what separates elite men from average ones.
The average guy waits for green lights. He waits for signs she’s interested before he takes the next step. He watches her reactions closely. He adjusts based on how she’s feeling. If she pulls away, he backs off. If she leans in, he gets braver.
The elite man doesn’t wait. He moves forward with calibrated boldness. He’s not reckless but he’s not asking for permission either. He doesn’t watch her to see how he’s doing. He watches her to lead better.
The average guy explains himself. He overcommunicates. He wants her to know he’s a good guy, that he has goals, that he’s not like those other guys.
The elite man speaks when needed, listens when it matters, and lets his presence say everything. He knows the more he tries to prove, the less she feels.
This difference is subtle but women pick up on it fast especially the beautiful ones who have had a hundred guys try to win them over.
Silent neediness is the killer. It’s not what you say, it’s what you need her to feel about you. If you’re still looking to be liked, to be validated, to be chosen, she’ll feel it.
Even if your words are smooth.
Even if your posture is strong.
I once had a client who was good-looking, funny, and socially skilled but his results were all over the place.
Sometimes he crushed it.
Other times, he got ghosted.
We started reviewing his dates and interactions.
What kept showing up wasn’t anything obvious.
He wasn’t saying anything wrong.
He wasn’t making technical mistakes but when we slowed things down and looked deeper, you could see it, the little moments where he tried to win her over.
Where he was waiting for her response before deciding what he felt.
Where his voice tone would shift slightly when she wasn’t giving much.
When he stopped needing approval, everything changed.
He stopped texting to “check in.”
He stopped trying to get a reaction.
He started acting like a man who already knew his value, not a man hoping she would recognize it and women responded fast.
They leaned in.
They chased.
You can learn to do the same.
Let’s reframe flakiness.
Most guys take it personally.
They think they said something wrong or messed up the vibe but in many cases, it’s just an unconscious approval test.
She’s seeing how you respond when she pulls back.
If you chase harder, she loses interest.
If you stay centered and move on, she becomes curious.
❤3
The hotter the woman, the more sensitive she is to status dynamics and nothing screams low status more than needing her to validate your worth.
High-status men don’t react to beauty.
They command it through their energy.
You won’t see a man women crave adjusting his behavior because she’s attractive.
You won’t catch him trying to be funnier or more agreeable because she’s got model looks.
He sees beauty as normal because for him, it is.
A powerful concept I teach is the validation budget. Think of every interaction like you have a limited budget of attention, approval, and validation you can give.
If you spend it all early complimenting her looks, trying to prove you’re interesting, chasing her through cold texts, there’s nothing left to create pull. She already knows you want her.
There's no curiosity left.
The elite man uses his budget wisely. He gives just enough to spark interest. Then he pulls back. Not as a game, but because he has standards. If she doesn’t meet them, he walks.
Approval-seeking is really just performing for attraction. It’s putting on a version of yourself that you think she’ll like. It’s chasing her smile instead of standing in your presence.
But leadership in seduction comes from self-trust.
You lead the interaction. You decide the pace. You don’t mold yourself based on how she responds. You don’t soften your delivery because she looks serious. You don’t fish for reactions.
Attraction isn’t persuasion. It’s "gravity."
Persuasion says, “Pick me. I’d be a good choice.”
Gravity says, “You feel pulled to me even if you don’t know why.”
When you drop approval-seeking, you stop persuading.
You stop proving and you start pulling.
This doesn’t mean you become cold or robotic.
It means you connect from power, not from need and that shift changes everything.
Going elite isn’t about smoother lines or tighter logistics. It’s about no longer asking the world for permission to be attractive.
You stop performing.
You start embodying and women feel the difference.
-MOS
High-status men don’t react to beauty.
They command it through their energy.
You won’t see a man women crave adjusting his behavior because she’s attractive.
You won’t catch him trying to be funnier or more agreeable because she’s got model looks.
He sees beauty as normal because for him, it is.
A powerful concept I teach is the validation budget. Think of every interaction like you have a limited budget of attention, approval, and validation you can give.
If you spend it all early complimenting her looks, trying to prove you’re interesting, chasing her through cold texts, there’s nothing left to create pull. She already knows you want her.
There's no curiosity left.
The elite man uses his budget wisely. He gives just enough to spark interest. Then he pulls back. Not as a game, but because he has standards. If she doesn’t meet them, he walks.
Approval-seeking is really just performing for attraction. It’s putting on a version of yourself that you think she’ll like. It’s chasing her smile instead of standing in your presence.
But leadership in seduction comes from self-trust.
You lead the interaction. You decide the pace. You don’t mold yourself based on how she responds. You don’t soften your delivery because she looks serious. You don’t fish for reactions.
Attraction isn’t persuasion. It’s "gravity."
Persuasion says, “Pick me. I’d be a good choice.”
Gravity says, “You feel pulled to me even if you don’t know why.”
When you drop approval-seeking, you stop persuading.
You stop proving and you start pulling.
This doesn’t mean you become cold or robotic.
It means you connect from power, not from need and that shift changes everything.
Going elite isn’t about smoother lines or tighter logistics. It’s about no longer asking the world for permission to be attractive.
You stop performing.
You start embodying and women feel the difference.
-MOS
❤4
The 3 Texting Habits That Kill Her Interest Fast (And What to Do Instead)
You got her number.
She seemed into you.
You sent a confident first message.
She replied then her replies started to change.
They got shorter.
Less playful.
Less curious.
One-word answers.
Then silence.
You’re staring at your phone, wondering what you did wrong.
You replay your texts in your head, reading and rereading every word, trying to figure out where the vibe dropped.
This happens to a lot of guys.
You’re not alone.
It’s frustrating because it feels like something was there and then it wasn’t.
And the worst part?
You didn’t say anything obviously wrong.
You weren’t rude, you weren’t overbearing, and you didn’t cross any lines but still, the interest vanished.
And that’s what makes this problem so sneaky.
Most men don’t lose women because they’re unattractive.
They lose them because their texting feels unattractive.
It’s not about typos or bad jokes.
It’s about the energy behind your words.
It comes off as needy, uncertain, or trying too hard to win her over even if everything looks fine on the surface.
Let’s look at the three texting habits that kill attraction fast, and what to do instead.
🚫 Habit #1: You Text to Stay On Her Mind (Not to Move Things Forward)
You got her number, and now you want to stay “in the mix.” So you send a good morning text. Or a “what’s up?” Or maybe you comment on something random just to spark a reply.
You’re trying to keep the conversation going, hoping she doesn’t forget about you.
When you text just to stay on her mind, she starts to feel your need for attention and that drains the spark.
The interaction becomes more about you needing her presence than about creating shared momentum.
What to do instead: Text with a purpose. Keep it playful, bold, and move toward a meet-up. Say something fun, tease her lightly, or reference something you talked about in person. Then move to logistics. Don’t linger in the chat. Use text to build anticipation, not to fill space.
You got her number.
She seemed into you.
You sent a confident first message.
She replied then her replies started to change.
They got shorter.
Less playful.
Less curious.
One-word answers.
Then silence.
You’re staring at your phone, wondering what you did wrong.
You replay your texts in your head, reading and rereading every word, trying to figure out where the vibe dropped.
This happens to a lot of guys.
You’re not alone.
It’s frustrating because it feels like something was there and then it wasn’t.
And the worst part?
You didn’t say anything obviously wrong.
You weren’t rude, you weren’t overbearing, and you didn’t cross any lines but still, the interest vanished.
And that’s what makes this problem so sneaky.
Most men don’t lose women because they’re unattractive.
They lose them because their texting feels unattractive.
It’s not about typos or bad jokes.
It’s about the energy behind your words.
It comes off as needy, uncertain, or trying too hard to win her over even if everything looks fine on the surface.
Let’s look at the three texting habits that kill attraction fast, and what to do instead.
🚫 Habit #1: You Text to Stay On Her Mind (Not to Move Things Forward)
You got her number, and now you want to stay “in the mix.” So you send a good morning text. Or a “what’s up?” Or maybe you comment on something random just to spark a reply.
You’re trying to keep the conversation going, hoping she doesn’t forget about you.
When you text just to stay on her mind, she starts to feel your need for attention and that drains the spark.
The interaction becomes more about you needing her presence than about creating shared momentum.
What to do instead: Text with a purpose. Keep it playful, bold, and move toward a meet-up. Say something fun, tease her lightly, or reference something you talked about in person. Then move to logistics. Don’t linger in the chat. Use text to build anticipation, not to fill space.
❤3
🚫 Habit #2: You Seek Reassurance Through Her Replies
You send a text then you wait.
Ten minutes.
Thirty.
An hour.
She finally replies, but it’s short.
Now you’re spinning.
Did she lose interest?
Did I say something wrong?
Should I double-text?
This habit of needing reassurance through her responses kills the vibe.
It makes you over-analyze.
It makes you text from insecurity and women feel it.
You’re reacting instead of leading.
What to do instead: Trust your value. If she’s slow to reply or gives a dry message, stay calm. Don’t chase. Don’t spiral. Don’t try to “win her back” with a better message. Let it go. The man who assumes interest or moves on without drama is the one who keeps his power.
You send a text then you wait.
Ten minutes.
Thirty.
An hour.
She finally replies, but it’s short.
Now you’re spinning.
Did she lose interest?
Did I say something wrong?
Should I double-text?
This habit of needing reassurance through her responses kills the vibe.
It makes you over-analyze.
It makes you text from insecurity and women feel it.
You’re reacting instead of leading.
What to do instead: Trust your value. If she’s slow to reply or gives a dry message, stay calm. Don’t chase. Don’t spiral. Don’t try to “win her back” with a better message. Let it go. The man who assumes interest or moves on without drama is the one who keeps his power.
❤3
🚫 Habit #3: You Over-Explain or Over-Entertain
You think if you show your personality, she’ll like you more.
So you text long paragraphs.
You tell detailed stories
You crack jokes constantly.
You’re trying to keep the energy up to keep her entertained.
But it backfires.
Because underneath all of that is a subtle message: "I hope you like me."
When you try to win her over through texting effort, she feels that need. It doesn’t feel calm. It doesn’t feel masculine.
What to do instead: Keep your messages short and intentional. Lead the interaction forward. Tease her. Flirt. Set a date. If she’s giving low energy, don’t fill in the gap. Let her match you.
You think if you show your personality, she’ll like you more.
So you text long paragraphs.
You tell detailed stories
You crack jokes constantly.
You’re trying to keep the energy up to keep her entertained.
But it backfires.
Because underneath all of that is a subtle message: "I hope you like me."
When you try to win her over through texting effort, she feels that need. It doesn’t feel calm. It doesn’t feel masculine.
What to do instead: Keep your messages short and intentional. Lead the interaction forward. Tease her. Flirt. Set a date. If she’s giving low energy, don’t fill in the gap. Let her match you.
❤2
HOW TO GET A GIRL EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO YOU
The thing you have to first understand about women is that women respond to a lot of things just based on how they feel. They do stuff based on how they feel at a particular moment.
That is why when you get a girl's number, you hit her up like 2-3 days later and she won't respond to your text or call... it's because you know on the day you approached her, she was feeling you but 2-3 days later something else is going on at that exact time when you called or texted her and she's not feeling the same way she felt in the moment when she was talking to you.
Understand her feelings might be different at that point so now that she's feeling something different depending on the situation or whatever is happening with her at that moment is going to determine if she's going to hit you back.
Cause if she is still feeling you enough then she is going to want to text you back or pick. up the phone when you call. Most times she doesn't respond cause she is feeling...
=> Tired.
=> Upset.
=> Angry.
=> Not feeling sexy and all these other emotions that are going on in her AT THAT MOMENT.
The way that women behave is quite random and ever-changing. You could be talking to a girl at 2:30 and at 2:45 she is feeling different than how she felt at 2:30.
INTENTIONS MATTER
When we talk about getting a chick emotionally attached to you, a lot of it has to do with your intentions. When you are dealing with a woman then you have to want to get with her sexually and mentally, you have to be in at a 💯 and it has to come across when you are talking to her so that she can feel that energy.
A lot of guys will see a girl that they like and approach her with this sort of nervous energy which is unnerving. What happens is your intention of getting sexual with her gets bottled down in your nervousness about the situation. Since you are nervous then she can't feel that emotion and intention from you.
This is why I tell you guys to practice talking with girls so as you practice more, you will come across as authentic.
Think about like when you are watching a movie. The things that they portray to you in movies like the storyline etc have an intention behind it. Say you are watching a horror movie then you know the intention is to scare you or a comedy movie's intention is to make you laugh. Same thing with music and now you can shift this so when you talk to girls, you have that intention for her to "feel something."
When you are talking to girls and they feel you are nervous then it's going to make that conversation awkward. It takes away the feeling that she is supposed to be feeling for you. All this boils down to self-conviction.
Being sure of yourself makes that intention energy flow when you feel it for real and this is why you have to authentic cause if you are not authentic then you come across as a bad actor. This is why nice guys are struggling to get women cause when you act like a nice guy, it comes across as phony and women can sense that shit.
You need to understand how important it is for your intentions to be there when talking to women which is by believing what you are saying.
When your intention is real, you just make things happen and not in an "I hope she likes me" way but in a "That girl is hot, let's say what she's all about" kind of way which makes you boldly approach them and that turns chicks on.
LISTENING TO HER
Another way to make girls emotionally attached to you is to listen to her. The reason why you need to listen to her is when you are listening to what she says, she is going to give you certain information that you can use in your later conversations to get her emotionally invested.
A lot of guys make the simple mistake of being logical with women but the thing is you can use logic to attach an emotion that she expressed to you. You can attach logic to an emotion she is feeling to make her feel it even more so she can understand what you are saying better. Let me show you how 👇
The thing you have to first understand about women is that women respond to a lot of things just based on how they feel. They do stuff based on how they feel at a particular moment.
That is why when you get a girl's number, you hit her up like 2-3 days later and she won't respond to your text or call... it's because you know on the day you approached her, she was feeling you but 2-3 days later something else is going on at that exact time when you called or texted her and she's not feeling the same way she felt in the moment when she was talking to you.
Understand her feelings might be different at that point so now that she's feeling something different depending on the situation or whatever is happening with her at that moment is going to determine if she's going to hit you back.
Cause if she is still feeling you enough then she is going to want to text you back or pick. up the phone when you call. Most times she doesn't respond cause she is feeling...
=> Tired.
=> Upset.
=> Angry.
=> Not feeling sexy and all these other emotions that are going on in her AT THAT MOMENT.
The way that women behave is quite random and ever-changing. You could be talking to a girl at 2:30 and at 2:45 she is feeling different than how she felt at 2:30.
INTENTIONS MATTER
When we talk about getting a chick emotionally attached to you, a lot of it has to do with your intentions. When you are dealing with a woman then you have to want to get with her sexually and mentally, you have to be in at a 💯 and it has to come across when you are talking to her so that she can feel that energy.
A lot of guys will see a girl that they like and approach her with this sort of nervous energy which is unnerving. What happens is your intention of getting sexual with her gets bottled down in your nervousness about the situation. Since you are nervous then she can't feel that emotion and intention from you.
This is why I tell you guys to practice talking with girls so as you practice more, you will come across as authentic.
Think about like when you are watching a movie. The things that they portray to you in movies like the storyline etc have an intention behind it. Say you are watching a horror movie then you know the intention is to scare you or a comedy movie's intention is to make you laugh. Same thing with music and now you can shift this so when you talk to girls, you have that intention for her to "feel something."
When you are talking to girls and they feel you are nervous then it's going to make that conversation awkward. It takes away the feeling that she is supposed to be feeling for you. All this boils down to self-conviction.
Being sure of yourself makes that intention energy flow when you feel it for real and this is why you have to authentic cause if you are not authentic then you come across as a bad actor. This is why nice guys are struggling to get women cause when you act like a nice guy, it comes across as phony and women can sense that shit.
You need to understand how important it is for your intentions to be there when talking to women which is by believing what you are saying.
When your intention is real, you just make things happen and not in an "I hope she likes me" way but in a "That girl is hot, let's say what she's all about" kind of way which makes you boldly approach them and that turns chicks on.
LISTENING TO HER
Another way to make girls emotionally attached to you is to listen to her. The reason why you need to listen to her is when you are listening to what she says, she is going to give you certain information that you can use in your later conversations to get her emotionally invested.
A lot of guys make the simple mistake of being logical with women but the thing is you can use logic to attach an emotion that she expressed to you. You can attach logic to an emotion she is feeling to make her feel it even more so she can understand what you are saying better. Let me show you how 👇
❤4
Had this girl once who I went out on a first date with and was trying to set up a second date to make something happen. I called her to set up the date, but she was reluctant to go out cause she had work then I remembered she told me about being a huge fan of being outdoors/outdoor activities (this is what happens when you listen - you pick up crucial details) so I told her about a street fair that I know was happening downtown and she was going to love it since she loves the outdoors.
By saying that, it triggers something in her since she loves outdoor activities so much that even if she doesn't want to see me at first, she will be willing to see me now since I used logic to increase the emotional feeling she has about the outdoors.
I used that to entice the situation and make something happen. Another thing is when you bring such a thing up, she notices that you are listening to her and women love to be listened to. You must listen to her so you can pick up details that will make your conversation enticing enough to make stuff happen.
UPGRADE HER MIND
Another way to get her emotionally invested in you is to upgrade her mind. This simply means teaching and making her learn something she probably didn't know before. By doing this, you show her that you have some type of perspective/knowledge/insight that she didn't have before, and since she is getting it from you then she will attach herself to you. She becomes attached based on what you offer on an intellectual level.
I remember talking to a girl who was a singer one time hustling to make it so she had a demo tape and she would do show and other stuff. I remember she used to be obsessed over getting the right song and that if she can't get the right song then she won't make it.
So I offered my perspective on the things I know about the music industry firsthand and how it works. I told her that a lot of times in the music business, artists have a team that writes their songs for them including the hit songs and all they have to do is perform. It's not like most artists have some special gift and that was what the girl thought she needed to make it so I told her "Sure, write the songs as best as you can but don't stress too much about the song and you gotta also focus on networking, marketing and other stuffs."
These were things she didn't know at the time about the business so me telling her all this upgraded her mind and it made her see these things in a different light which changed her whole perspective on things. It made her feel better to know these things and since I'm the one who told her about this, she attaches those good feelings that she had for me.
The simple way to do this is when a girl says something that you know to be wrong, all you have to do is tell her the truth. That's it.
You will come across this a lot of times and you don't need to be "in your face" about it. Just offer a new perspective or point of view and this would upgrade her mind. I had this conversation with my FWB once which goes like this:
Her: Oh you know, I don't know if I can continue seeing you because you keep talking about how you are not trying to get into a relationship right now and I want to get into a relationship because I want a boyfriend then a husband and then have kids blah blah blah
Me: Listen, you don't need to stress about all that because right now, me and you are having a great time. You gotta understand how to live in the moment cause you are not living right now. You are simply worried about the future. Now do you and I have a good time together?
Her: Yes we do
Me: We have fun when we are chilling?
Her: Yes
Me: Exactly, don't worry about all that extra stuff cause you stressing yourself out over nothing. I or you could die tomorrow so the only thing that matters is NOW and right now we are having a good time so let's keep having a good time.
By saying that, it triggers something in her since she loves outdoor activities so much that even if she doesn't want to see me at first, she will be willing to see me now since I used logic to increase the emotional feeling she has about the outdoors.
I used that to entice the situation and make something happen. Another thing is when you bring such a thing up, she notices that you are listening to her and women love to be listened to. You must listen to her so you can pick up details that will make your conversation enticing enough to make stuff happen.
UPGRADE HER MIND
Another way to get her emotionally invested in you is to upgrade her mind. This simply means teaching and making her learn something she probably didn't know before. By doing this, you show her that you have some type of perspective/knowledge/insight that she didn't have before, and since she is getting it from you then she will attach herself to you. She becomes attached based on what you offer on an intellectual level.
I remember talking to a girl who was a singer one time hustling to make it so she had a demo tape and she would do show and other stuff. I remember she used to be obsessed over getting the right song and that if she can't get the right song then she won't make it.
So I offered my perspective on the things I know about the music industry firsthand and how it works. I told her that a lot of times in the music business, artists have a team that writes their songs for them including the hit songs and all they have to do is perform. It's not like most artists have some special gift and that was what the girl thought she needed to make it so I told her "Sure, write the songs as best as you can but don't stress too much about the song and you gotta also focus on networking, marketing and other stuffs."
These were things she didn't know at the time about the business so me telling her all this upgraded her mind and it made her see these things in a different light which changed her whole perspective on things. It made her feel better to know these things and since I'm the one who told her about this, she attaches those good feelings that she had for me.
The simple way to do this is when a girl says something that you know to be wrong, all you have to do is tell her the truth. That's it.
You will come across this a lot of times and you don't need to be "in your face" about it. Just offer a new perspective or point of view and this would upgrade her mind. I had this conversation with my FWB once which goes like this:
Her: Oh you know, I don't know if I can continue seeing you because you keep talking about how you are not trying to get into a relationship right now and I want to get into a relationship because I want a boyfriend then a husband and then have kids blah blah blah
Me: Listen, you don't need to stress about all that because right now, me and you are having a great time. You gotta understand how to live in the moment cause you are not living right now. You are simply worried about the future. Now do you and I have a good time together?
Her: Yes we do
Me: We have fun when we are chilling?
Her: Yes
Me: Exactly, don't worry about all that extra stuff cause you stressing yourself out over nothing. I or you could die tomorrow so the only thing that matters is NOW and right now we are having a good time so let's keep having a good time.
❤1👏1
Notice how I gave her the perspective of living in the moment and that calmed her mind down cause she was thinking about all this other stuff. This is another example of upgrading her mind. She will then attach that wisdom she has heard to me so she knows if she wants more of this then she has to come to me.
A lot of times, women are out juggling multiple guys and that makes you stand out more doing this cause you are probably the only one trying to smash and upgrade her mind while the rest are just looking to smash only.
Now with all these methods of getting emotionally attached, you have to understand that you have to get her to see you in a positive light to the point that she feels good every time she is with you. Doing this stuffs get girls emotionally attached to you.
The best part about this is if you can build a team of women who are emotionally attached to you then you can build a harem since you have them on an emotional level which makes the bond stronger and that is what will make her keep coming back to see you.
Hope this helps.
-MOS
A lot of times, women are out juggling multiple guys and that makes you stand out more doing this cause you are probably the only one trying to smash and upgrade her mind while the rest are just looking to smash only.
Now with all these methods of getting emotionally attached, you have to understand that you have to get her to see you in a positive light to the point that she feels good every time she is with you. Doing this stuffs get girls emotionally attached to you.
The best part about this is if you can build a team of women who are emotionally attached to you then you can build a harem since you have them on an emotional level which makes the bond stronger and that is what will make her keep coming back to see you.
Hope this helps.
-MOS
❤2🔥1
This chat is a perfect example of pulling her too much without giving a push.
There has to be a balance between push and pull.
Notice how she is just being nice and entertaining the convo out of curiosity.
She is entertaining it cause she is curious about why he approached her.
There are 3 occasions of him showering her with compliments (and tho I have nothing against using emojis in this context, it will come across as approval seeking)
Once she got the answer to her question she was no longer entertaining the convo which I would have flipped the switch by giving her a date invite with the "I will tell you why on the date."
He offered two dates which she rebuffed without offering a different time.
Which he rewards by validating her again hoping she will bite.
Understand that with everything, you have to make her work for it so she doesn't take it for granted.
Two issues here:
=> Over-validating the girl
=> Pulling too much
Not dunking on anyone but we can always learn from texts like this.
There has to be a balance between push and pull.
Notice how she is just being nice and entertaining the convo out of curiosity.
She is entertaining it cause she is curious about why he approached her.
There are 3 occasions of him showering her with compliments (and tho I have nothing against using emojis in this context, it will come across as approval seeking)
Once she got the answer to her question she was no longer entertaining the convo which I would have flipped the switch by giving her a date invite with the "I will tell you why on the date."
He offered two dates which she rebuffed without offering a different time.
Which he rewards by validating her again hoping she will bite.
Understand that with everything, you have to make her work for it so she doesn't take it for granted.
Two issues here:
=> Over-validating the girl
=> Pulling too much
Not dunking on anyone but we can always learn from texts like this.
❤3
If I’m suspicious she’s a secret fatty…
Get to restaurant early.
Park outside close to the front door.
Watch every chick that comes in alone.
When you get the text or call, ‘I’m here’ that last one was yours
Hot = walk in
Not = drive off
Zero sympathy for liars.
Another way to avoid this is to have a call (video call) prior to the date.
Get to restaurant early.
Park outside close to the front door.
Watch every chick that comes in alone.
When you get the text or call, ‘I’m here’ that last one was yours
Hot = walk in
Not = drive off
Zero sympathy for liars.
Another way to avoid this is to have a call (video call) prior to the date.
❤2
A common misconception is the idea that you have to be a nonchalant asshole all the time to women.
Because apparently, women like “bad boys”
Dudes who say this obviously don’t have game in real life.
And if you take this advice, all your relationships will fail.
The idea that you shouldn’t do anything nice for a woman will lead you down the wrong path.
Especially if you’re trying to have a long term relationship, which most guys seek.
You cannot have a healthy relationship having this mindset.
You may attract but you won’t retain.
And the type of women you can retain acting this way, are not the type women that you’d want to be in an LTR with.
The concept of acting nonchalant has been completely misunderstood.
The nonchalant attitude is meant to show outcome independence.
Another use for the nonchalant attitude is to make her appreciate it more when you do nice things for her.
Because women naturally feel entitled to a man’s kindness.
And can be highly ungrateful.
The purpose of the nonchalant attitude is not to be an asshole every time.
Women don’t like bad boys because bad boys are mean all the time.
They like bad boys because they appreciate their kindness more.
And that’s because they know the bad boys are capable of ruthlessness.
They know he won’t tolerate their BS.
He’d leave her and not look back.
So if you think you can get away with never being nice to women.
I can already tell that you’re either too young.
Or you just don’t have any real life experiences with women.
And all you do is parrot theories that you read online.
Because apparently, women like “bad boys”
Dudes who say this obviously don’t have game in real life.
And if you take this advice, all your relationships will fail.
The idea that you shouldn’t do anything nice for a woman will lead you down the wrong path.
Especially if you’re trying to have a long term relationship, which most guys seek.
You cannot have a healthy relationship having this mindset.
You may attract but you won’t retain.
And the type of women you can retain acting this way, are not the type women that you’d want to be in an LTR with.
The concept of acting nonchalant has been completely misunderstood.
The nonchalant attitude is meant to show outcome independence.
Another use for the nonchalant attitude is to make her appreciate it more when you do nice things for her.
Because women naturally feel entitled to a man’s kindness.
And can be highly ungrateful.
The purpose of the nonchalant attitude is not to be an asshole every time.
Women don’t like bad boys because bad boys are mean all the time.
They like bad boys because they appreciate their kindness more.
And that’s because they know the bad boys are capable of ruthlessness.
They know he won’t tolerate their BS.
He’d leave her and not look back.
So if you think you can get away with never being nice to women.
I can already tell that you’re either too young.
Or you just don’t have any real life experiences with women.
And all you do is parrot theories that you read online.
❤5
FRAME IS IMPLICIT AND NON-VERBAL
Have you ever been with a girl where everything just flowed naturally?
It's because she embraced your vibe from the start.
Maybe it's your looks or your personality... you're strong, you're confident, you have a deep voice, you have a strong presence... or she's seen you enough to connect with your personality through your actions.
It doesn't have to be one specific thing, it can be a combination of what appeals to her.
A lot of guys misunderstand the idea of having a "masculine frame." They think they have to overdo it to show they're alpha.
But if you have to force it, it actually reveals a lack of it.
It's like someone saying, "I'm an alpha male." Not only does it sound cringe, but needing to say it suggests there's no real display of it.
Words are often used to hide what can't be shown.
Similarly, women often say they're strong and independent. Sometimes it's like they're trying to convince themselves, hoping it'll come true. Other times, it's just empty words to seem like someone they're not.
Whether it's the alpha male or the Ms. Independent, when they keep talking about it, it shows they're not really it.
The same goes for Boundaries. They're mainly for yourself to know, rather than having to tell someone else. Otherwise, the reason for your boundaries becomes dependent on someone else.
Having to communicate them only shows your lack of control in the situation. Like with ultimatums. You only do it when you feel powerless. Threats work the same way.
Threats are just the other side of the coin, the opposite of expressing boundaries clearly from the start to someone new.
Consider threats like "If you cheat, it's over." Do you really need to say it if you already know you'd end things? Even thinking about it shows your fear, weakening your frame.
Similarly, with boundaries like "I won't accept you going on girls' trips," just considering it suggests you lack confidence that the person might be tempted. Again, it undermines your strength.
When you meet someone new, you can sense their aura, charisma, and presence without them saying a word. It's all in how they carry themselves. You might even feel intimidated and look down when speaking to them.
Why is eye contact so important in attraction?
In France, when dealing with hoodlums, they often demand you look down. This shows who's dominant and who's submissive. The hoodlum assumes control by ordering you to look down, and if you comply, you accept his dominance.
Commands and expressed Boundaries are different. Commands show dominance and invite submission.
Expressed Boundaries imply equality and expect respect for your rules. Women at best tolerates equals.
Expressed Boundaries imply a lack of control and reveal a false sense of strength, where you can't command the situation.
Strong individuals don't need to show strength directly; they assume it's already present. It's indirect, even with Commands.
Does this mean we should ignore negative possibilities like cheating or girls' trips? No. But we shouldn't let reality overwhelm our own reality. While it could happen, in our world, it won't. By assuming and communicating that assurance, we create a self-fulfilling behavior where such things don't occur under our leadership.
By verbalizing threats or expressed Boundaries, you risk giving away your power. Real strength starts from within and spreads to others. It may not be real at first, but it becomes real over time—an illusion becoming reality. Whether it's frame, self-belief, strength, or power, it all comes from perception, not reality itself.
This is why even rich and famous people, despite their actual reality, often experience similar outcomes as average people. If their reality doesn't match what others see, their behavior will fail to attract or keep a woman.
Have you ever been with a girl where everything just flowed naturally?
It's because she embraced your vibe from the start.
Maybe it's your looks or your personality... you're strong, you're confident, you have a deep voice, you have a strong presence... or she's seen you enough to connect with your personality through your actions.
It doesn't have to be one specific thing, it can be a combination of what appeals to her.
A lot of guys misunderstand the idea of having a "masculine frame." They think they have to overdo it to show they're alpha.
But if you have to force it, it actually reveals a lack of it.
It's like someone saying, "I'm an alpha male." Not only does it sound cringe, but needing to say it suggests there's no real display of it.
Words are often used to hide what can't be shown.
Similarly, women often say they're strong and independent. Sometimes it's like they're trying to convince themselves, hoping it'll come true. Other times, it's just empty words to seem like someone they're not.
Whether it's the alpha male or the Ms. Independent, when they keep talking about it, it shows they're not really it.
The same goes for Boundaries. They're mainly for yourself to know, rather than having to tell someone else. Otherwise, the reason for your boundaries becomes dependent on someone else.
Having to communicate them only shows your lack of control in the situation. Like with ultimatums. You only do it when you feel powerless. Threats work the same way.
Threats are just the other side of the coin, the opposite of expressing boundaries clearly from the start to someone new.
Consider threats like "If you cheat, it's over." Do you really need to say it if you already know you'd end things? Even thinking about it shows your fear, weakening your frame.
Similarly, with boundaries like "I won't accept you going on girls' trips," just considering it suggests you lack confidence that the person might be tempted. Again, it undermines your strength.
When you meet someone new, you can sense their aura, charisma, and presence without them saying a word. It's all in how they carry themselves. You might even feel intimidated and look down when speaking to them.
Why is eye contact so important in attraction?
In France, when dealing with hoodlums, they often demand you look down. This shows who's dominant and who's submissive. The hoodlum assumes control by ordering you to look down, and if you comply, you accept his dominance.
Commands and expressed Boundaries are different. Commands show dominance and invite submission.
Expressed Boundaries imply equality and expect respect for your rules. Women at best tolerates equals.
Expressed Boundaries imply a lack of control and reveal a false sense of strength, where you can't command the situation.
Strong individuals don't need to show strength directly; they assume it's already present. It's indirect, even with Commands.
Does this mean we should ignore negative possibilities like cheating or girls' trips? No. But we shouldn't let reality overwhelm our own reality. While it could happen, in our world, it won't. By assuming and communicating that assurance, we create a self-fulfilling behavior where such things don't occur under our leadership.
By verbalizing threats or expressed Boundaries, you risk giving away your power. Real strength starts from within and spreads to others. It may not be real at first, but it becomes real over time—an illusion becoming reality. Whether it's frame, self-belief, strength, or power, it all comes from perception, not reality itself.
As Varys from Game of Thrones said,
"Power resides where men believe it resides. It's a trick. A shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow."
This is why even rich and famous people, despite their actual reality, often experience similar outcomes as average people. If their reality doesn't match what others see, their behavior will fail to attract or keep a woman.
❤3
Walking away instead of telling someone off is much stronger because you demonstrate the cost of crossing your internal boundaries without warning. It shows you don't care.
That's why not caring shows the strongest frame. You don't need to do or say anything to someone you don't value or care about. It's not trying too hard because you're not trying at all. Indifference communicates superiority through a steady frame.
Women will always see through any bluff if you try something. You might get away with telling her off once or twice, but if you're still there, what does she realize? That you can't actually say no to her. And then the negative spiral begins.
Life is implicit frames, Life is all about different perspectives or frames. They shape how you see the world around you, while she sees it through her own lens. Reacting to her frame only validates hers and weakens yours.
Even if you feel wronged and want to get back at her, showing your anger or seeking revenge will only make you lose. Instead, stay calm and non-reactive while quietly working to fix what you see as unfair. This shifts the balance of whose reality holds more power.
In practical terms, the more you naturally display traits that fit into her ideal frame to fall within, the less she'll test you because she's already drawn into your world. This is the big picture.
However, if you're lacking in those traits, she'll start testing you to see if you're really the person you seem to be. This is the small picture.
If you don't have enough of the big picture traits, or if they start to fade, you'll find yourself dealing mostly with the small picture tests. In that case, you might need to step back from the situation.
The reason why bad boys or even criminals seem to attract so many women effortlessly is because they excel at the big picture traits.
Having a strong frame is essential, but trying too hard to display it directly, whether through setting boundaries, issuing threats, or showing disapproval, actually undermines your strength. It shows that you're not confident in your own power and are struggling against something that's already happening. This only leads to failure.
Removing your focus, walking away, or simply ignoring the other person demonstrates clearly that their reality doesn't affect yours. It shows that you're not dependent on them to confirm your boundaries, which should ultimately be set for your own well-being.
Boundaries are guidelines for your life, not tools to prove your dominance or assert your frame. Your frame is inherent and doesn't need validation from others.
Only when she returns, if she does, does she realize that your frame is the one she wants to be a part of.
Frame battles are subtle and unspoken, it's like a mental game, and the idea behind it is that it's hidden. Bringing it out into the open shows you don't understand the dynamics, and the moment you do, if she ever does align with your frame, it will feel forced instead of natural.
A Command feels natural because she's already accepted your dominant stance. Your overall presence has already been established in her mind before you even give the command.
Power dynamics operate beneath the surface, never above it.
That's why not caring shows the strongest frame. You don't need to do or say anything to someone you don't value or care about. It's not trying too hard because you're not trying at all. Indifference communicates superiority through a steady frame.
Women will always see through any bluff if you try something. You might get away with telling her off once or twice, but if you're still there, what does she realize? That you can't actually say no to her. And then the negative spiral begins.
Life is implicit frames, Life is all about different perspectives or frames. They shape how you see the world around you, while she sees it through her own lens. Reacting to her frame only validates hers and weakens yours.
Even if you feel wronged and want to get back at her, showing your anger or seeking revenge will only make you lose. Instead, stay calm and non-reactive while quietly working to fix what you see as unfair. This shifts the balance of whose reality holds more power.
In practical terms, the more you naturally display traits that fit into her ideal frame to fall within, the less she'll test you because she's already drawn into your world. This is the big picture.
However, if you're lacking in those traits, she'll start testing you to see if you're really the person you seem to be. This is the small picture.
If you don't have enough of the big picture traits, or if they start to fade, you'll find yourself dealing mostly with the small picture tests. In that case, you might need to step back from the situation.
The reason why bad boys or even criminals seem to attract so many women effortlessly is because they excel at the big picture traits.
Having a strong frame is essential, but trying too hard to display it directly, whether through setting boundaries, issuing threats, or showing disapproval, actually undermines your strength. It shows that you're not confident in your own power and are struggling against something that's already happening. This only leads to failure.
Removing your focus, walking away, or simply ignoring the other person demonstrates clearly that their reality doesn't affect yours. It shows that you're not dependent on them to confirm your boundaries, which should ultimately be set for your own well-being.
Boundaries are guidelines for your life, not tools to prove your dominance or assert your frame. Your frame is inherent and doesn't need validation from others.
Only when she returns, if she does, does she realize that your frame is the one she wants to be a part of.
Frame battles are subtle and unspoken, it's like a mental game, and the idea behind it is that it's hidden. Bringing it out into the open shows you don't understand the dynamics, and the moment you do, if she ever does align with your frame, it will feel forced instead of natural.
A Command feels natural because she's already accepted your dominant stance. Your overall presence has already been established in her mind before you even give the command.
Power dynamics operate beneath the surface, never above it.
As Tywin Lannister wisely said,
"Any man who must say, 'I am the king' is no true king."
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