One of the best things you can teach a kid is how to struggle.

The wisdom behind struggle. The great rewards that await those who know how to struggle.

But what if Allah blessed you and you live comfortably? Are you supposed to take that away and make kids suffer? You can't really do that a lot because it's not practical and it's mean, and a mean parent will produce a mean kid. But there are situations which force you into struggle.

Excelling in school, memorizing Quran, studying Arabic, having manners, winning at sports, cleaning the house, and volunteering at the masjid or with the grandparents are all micro-struggles. In the course of these, there will be times they don't want to do it, or they want to give up, or they get frustrated. That's where real parenting comes in if you ask me. Every household has to have a bad guy who insists and persists and refuses to take no for an answer. But it should be done with kindness, because a mean parent produces bullies and kids with issues. Here are some basic techniques that can be applied on a daily basis.

TECHNIQUE #1
If something requires knowledge, I'm here for you all day, but if it just requires effort, then I'm not getting involved. If I did I would be making you weak. It has developed that I simply do not answer, nor even look up, if the request is based in laziness.

Finding stuff in the house is a mini-mini-struggle that comes up multiple times a day. But over time, it really piles up and produces a good ethic. I personally never help them find anything, and don't take no for an answer if I ask them to get something I know we have. For example:

"Can you help me find a battery for my remote control car, I can't find it."
Answer: [Smile] "Recite Duha and keep trying."
Think about it. The whole house is like a dozen rooms. Go room by room. Empty drawer by drawer. Be systematic and thorough. Put some effort into it.

Or if I ask,

"Go get me the screw-driver." Two minutes later, "I can't find it."
I don't respond to that. Every house has a screw driver; find it. Look harder.

TECHNIQUE #2
Certain phrases should be emphasized and repeated. For example:

"Figure it out," is simply one of my favorites.

"Do your job," is very important in teaching how to stay focused.

"Put some effort into it," is great because you want the word "effort" repeated as much as you can.

"Do it yourself" is a bit mean but a little bit of meanness is okay because a) it's like a vaccine for mean people in the world, and b) it's easy to wash away by being nice later in the day. Another mean phrase is "Stop being lazy." It should be used sparingly because it's better to invoke the word "effort" than the word "lazy."

"Hustle!" is a classic single word line with a great punch to it.

TECHNIQUE #3
Another way to do this is to glorify struggle by watching others who had "real" struggles," like the struggle to stay alive or eat. There are a lot of books and movies about this. Maybe people can put their favorites in the comment section. Helen Keller is a classic of course. These are important because they are reality checks that put our micro and mini struggles in context. If I'm defeated by a micro struggle, what chance do I have against the real struggles of life.

Dr Shadee Elmasry

101+ Ways to Keep Kids Busy

http://www.cas.psu.edu

• 24 pages
#activity
#book

50 messy maths things to do

• 52 slides
#maths
#activity
#book

Subhan’Allah the “innocent” cartoons are really not as innocent as we would believe

https://onepathnetwork.com/the-problem-with-childrens-films-today/

May Allah protect us all and our future Ummah
Ameen 🤲🏻

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Strategy for teaching students with processing disorders How to read.
https://youtu.be/aVkiVN4Q6bI

A shorter clip from that video
https://youtu.be/V9Mru-0rbk8

There are many many good tips in here to help with reading

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Educational videos FREE 16 video sets ideal for:

• Special Needs
• Learning Difficulties
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Special Needs Workshop & Resources (Free)
https://t.me/SEND_Training_and_Resources

Exploring Learning Disabilities

https://www.open.edu/openlearn/health-sports-psychology/exploring-learning-disabilities-supporting-belonging/content-section-overview

Open University

Screen time recommendations to consider that will help parents manage screen time for kids:

Limit Screen Time:
Total amount of screen time per child daily has changed during Coronavirus. Just make sure that time is being put to positive, educational purposes.

Encourage Children to Play Outdoors:

Screen time on digital devices encourages sedentary habits which can be harmful to the body and mind. Spend time outdoors! Screen Time &

Gadgets Not Child Care:
Keeping children busy with gadgets or TV may give parents downtime, but there are other ways to do that: creative toys, coloring books, etc.

Ensure Adequate Sleep:
Kids need around 10 hours of sleep daily, depending on their age and development.

Take Screen Time Breaks:
Short breaks from looking at gadgets and digital screens every 20 minutes or so reduces eye strain.

Maintain Distance from Screen:
Don’t get too close to the screen! Your kids’ eyes should be at least 20 inches away from the screen.

Lighting Conditions Matter:
Kids may not pay attention to lighting conditions when they are engrossed in an activity. Discourage the use of gadgets in a dark room or in bright sunlight.

Continue reading at https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/screen-time/screen-time-recommendations-for-parents-how-much-is-too-much-for-kids/#gs.7pb9hq | Child Development Institute

WHO IS GROOMING THE BOYS?

Right from when I can remember being a girl, I was bombarded with subtle, Covert, overt trainings and awareness of my femininity and responsibilities as a female.

I had baby toys.
I bathed them.
Fed them.
Backed them.
Put them to sleep when they 'fretted'
I recall putting my dolls to my flat chest to give them suck.
I was grooming for my role later in life.

I was made to help out in the kitchen. Taught to set the table.
Taught to keep the house clean.
Tidy up the bed.
Sweep.
Wash.
And I was always told "when you get to your husband's house.." "When you marry.. In your husband's house..."
"When you have your children..."
We watched our mothers practicalise what they taught us, so, it wasn't just empty lectures.

Today, we are where our mothers used to be and we are repeating history. Teaching our girls to be ladies, wives, mothers.

But who is teaching the boys??????
Who is teaching them to be good men, gentlemen, husbands, fathers?

A properly raised lady meets a badly raised man in marriage. That marriage is dead on arrival.

A girl was practically raised learning how to keep a home and submit to her husband. But who helped raise a boy teaching him how to love his wife and earn respect and submission?
Who is raising the boys to know that it is okay to enter the kitchen and cook for his wife and kids?
Who is teaching them that they can also make their beds? Do their laundry? Help with groceries?

Before you label me an extreme feminist, hear me out.
Were you not cooking before she came into your life?
Were you not doing your dishes? Making your bed?
Sweeping your apartment?
Were you not?

Life is responsibility and responsibilities do not end with marriage!
In my house, everybody cooks. Everybody makes their beds.
Do their dishes.

My son is home from school for some work experience training.
As usual, homecoming is not just a period to deplete my kitchen and sleep unend, it is time for training.
It has now become a joke in my house for me to start a sentence and my son ends it with ".. So that your wife will.... " For example "Baba, you should have washed your coffee mug instead of leaving it in the sink... " and he would cut in with "so that my wife will not be upset... " Or " So that when I marry.. "

He comes back from work in the evenings.
I try to get dinner set before he returns. He is forever grateful for a hot meal when he gets home.
When he got very comfortable with the routine, I tested him.
One evening, he came back home and there was no dinner.
The young man went to the kitchen and made dinner for everybody.
One day he came home and was like " What did you people cook?"
After my lecture, he will never repeat that question to anybody again, let alone his wife. Never!

We have gone over the lectures and trainings on how to treat a lady in public.
"If you come home without your shirt because you used it to wrap a stranger (a lady especially) whose skirt or trousers got stained, you are a gentleman indeed" He has heard this sermon over and over.
He knows he should not be seated in a bus if a lady (especially the elderly male or female) are standing.
He knows he is to let a lady walk into a door first.
His ears a full. Just like mine were as a child.

Who is grooming our boys?
Who is teaching them the future is hard work?
That being a man is not a walk in the park?
That it is not cast in stone for them to be served on the dinning table and for their dishes to be cleared after meals?
That they should wake up at dawn like the girls do and clean the car or do some other house chores as well?
That they can cook for the family?
That they can do the groceries?

Like I jokingly tell my son, "don't let any girl wag her tongue and curse me that I did not raise you well 😄😄😄😄" and he would have a fit of laughter.

Parents, start now.
The boy will wince his nose and react initially, but you can make learning fun and they will look forward to it.

Tomorrow's rest begins from today.
Let your your son grow into it: being responsible and accountable.

Raise your boys well now even if he is an only child who arrived after years of waiting!
One over pampered and over spoilt son cannot multiply into two sons!

#LaraWiseSays
May 2019 ©

Media literacy should be taught at school. Courses like media studies are seen as a joke subject. However everything negative about the media and theories you will find in a cultural
Studies and media studies course and reading list, is what they don’t want you to know.

https://www.protectyoungminds.org/2020/07/28/tiktok-sound-app-stealing-your-kids-life-away/

Why I don't use a smartphone

https://youtu.be/TjaM0tdxtYA

Knowledge Hub UK
https://t.me/KnowledgeHubUK

*TELEVISION*

*By Roald Dahl (1916-1990)*


The most important thing we’ve learned,
So far as children are concerned,

*Is never, NEVER, NEVER let*

*Them near your television set —*

Or better still, just don’t install
The idiotic thing at all.

In almost every house we’ve been,
We’ve watched them gaping at the screen.

They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.

*(Last week in someone’s place we saw*
*A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)*

They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they’re hypnotised by it,

Until they’re absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don’t climb out the window sill,

They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch

And wash the dishes in the sink —
But did you ever stop to think,

To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?

*IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!*

*IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!*

*IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!*

*IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND*

*HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND*

*A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!*

*HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!*

*HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!*

*HE CANNOT THINK — HE ONLY SEES!*

‘All right!’ you’ll cry. ‘All right!’ you’ll say,

‘But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain

*OUR DARLING CHILDRÊN...? PLEASE EXPLAIN!’*

We’ll answer this by asking you,
‘What used the darling ones to do?

‘How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?’

Have you forgotten? Don’t you know?
We’ll say it very loud and slow:

*THEY … USED … TO … READ! They’d READ and READ..,*

*AND READ AND READ, AND THEN PROCEED..*

To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!

One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!

Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,

More books were waiting to be read!
ÔH, books, what books they used to know,

*THOSE CHILDRÊN LIVING LONG AGO...!*


So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,

*GO THROW YOUR TV SET AWAY..,*

And in its place you can install

A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,

Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,

And children hitting you with sticks-
*FEAR NOT, BECAUSE WE PROMISE YOU*

That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They’ll now begin to feel the need

Of having something to read.

*AND Once THEY START — ÔH BOY, ÔH BOY...!*

*You watch the slowly growing joy..*

That fills their hearts. They’ll grow so keen
They’ll wonder what they’d ever seen

In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
*REPULSIVE TELEVISION SCREEN...!*
And later, each and every kid

*Will love you more for what you did...*

*Screen time recommendations to consider that will help parents manage screen time for kids: *

*Limit Screen Time:* Total amount of screen time per child daily has changed during Coronavirus. Just make sure that time is being put to positive, educational purposes.

*Encourage Children to Play Outdoors: *

Screen time on digital devices encourages sedentary habits which can be harmful to the body and mind. Spend time outdoors! Screen Time &

*Gadgets Not Child Care: *

Keeping children busy with gadgets or TV may give parents downtime, but there are other ways to do that: creative toys, coloring books, etc.

*Ensure Adequate Sleep:*
Kids need around 10 hours of sleep daily, depending on their age and development.

*Take Screen Time Breaks:* Short breaks from looking at gadgets and digital screens every 20 minutes or so reduces eye strain.

*Maintain Distance from Screen: *

Don’t get too close to the screen! Your kids’ eyes should be at least 20 inches away from the screen.

*Lighting Conditions Matter: *

Kids may not pay attention to lighting conditions when they are engrossed in an activity. Discourage the use of gadgets in a dark room or in bright sunlight.

Continue reading at https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/screen-time/screen-time-recommendations-for-parents-how-much-is-too-much-for-kids/#gs.7pb9hq | Child Development Institute

By Dr Gemma

Am I ruining my child's life? 

Almost ten years ago, when I first heard about Homeschooling, it sounded cool; but it wasn't the sort of thing people like me did ... Right?! 
 
I mean, everyone else I knew had their children in school. And besides, I had a career to think about. 
 
But the idea just wouldn't leave me. 
 
It kept coming back and whispering, "Hey Gemma, this could be amazing! This is what you're meant to do!"
 
But Is Homeschooling REALLY the right decision?
 
You know how it is,
 
As soon as I started looking into it, those pesky voices started in my head....
 
What if they end up hating me?
What if they don't get any GCSEs and have to live off benefits for the rest of their lives?
What if they end up weird and awkward and no one wants to marry them?!! (Don't tell me I'm the only one that thought of this?!!)
 
Dang, that's a lot of What-Ifs!
 
That's when I realised...
 
I was living my life from a place of fear, not trust. 
 
So let's flip it!
 
What if homeschooling meant we get to know one another on a deeper level?What if it strengthened our relationships?
 
What if my children were able to take GCSEs when they were ready; taking some early, and spreading others out over several years? 
What if they also got qualifications something they were passionate about?
 
What if they ended up with beautiful manners and character?
What if they became people of Taqwa and Purity, who love Allah (swt) and His Messenger?
 
Now that's different!
 
But I get it,
 
The decision to homeschool is a BIG one! 
 
From years of helping hundreds of other Muslim families, I know that SO many people want to do it, but they're paralysed by fear. 
 
Never let fear stop you living your life. NEVER.
 
Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.

Aslamalaikum wrahmatullah

[Message for the ladies here]

This WhatsApp group has been set up for ladies who would like to study islamic texts/books.

*We will be beginning with 'Lost Islamic History' by Firas Al Khateeb.*

This will require some level of commitment to study/read content however you are welcome to join and see if it is for you.

I believe it will be beneficial to all whether you are a revert or have not had much exposure to islamic content or otherwise.

Here is the new link to join and I will update further info on there or you can send me a message with any questions ❤

I initially wanted to keep the group small but opening it up again so we can achieve maximum benefit.

JazakAllahkhayr
https://chat.whatsapp.com/L0LwcThqA6tLL8dYSR7FkF

Instilling the Love of Salah in Your Children.pdf