>be american
>wake up at 4 in the morning
>drink coffee-infused high fructose cornsyrup
>gain another chin
>open door to leave
>dodge bullets from startled police officer
>thank him for his service
>get in pick-up truck
>wait in traffic for 5 hours, only poor people take public transport
>the clock strikes 11 past 9
>everyone gets out of their car and faces towards new york
>salute the twin towers. never forget.
>get to work
>see a job creator pass by
>prostrate before him and ask if you can work longer and for less
>he tells you that that you're going places
>the entire office begins clapping, thanking him for being so generous
>take lunch break (unpaid)
>eat a super size bowl of ranch sauce with a topping of salad
>gain a bra size
>finally head home from work after working unpaid overtime
>get pulled over by the cops
>they ask to see your ancestry.com results
>7% white
>cops feel threatened by how white you are
>get shot

Cinema.

And?

Sounds like a great day to me