November 8, 2019
Broadcast Billet

Trauma, Trafficking, eXtinction Rebellion, & XR Neighborhood
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"In Crown Heights, there was a Jew, Yankel, who owned a bakery..."
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Christmas Day 2015, 11 Storm.

I am alone in the house with the black mold, putting every mote of energy into making the most basic audio tracks I could sell for money.

Anything most familiar to me that I can sing passably, like this old beloved family tune, because no one wants to spend Christmas with me except sexually aggressive strangers and I cannot get enough resources to eat safely without being hurt.

Extreme cognitive duress.

Inability to access reliable brain function, described extensively to previous caring community members who announced authoritatively that I had brain damage that would never heal, before they rushed away, said I was a liar, told people not to help me, and ignored my messages that I had been put at great sexual risk amongst strangers because I had not fully recovered from my illness and could not secure my own physical safety.

But this is a song I had sung many, many times... in front of loving people who seemed to care about me.

And this music, such a loving, mystical energy.

Weight and muscle tone slipping right off me again in that stress-driven ignored-illness kind of way.

Had the advantage of most recent recovery strides (the ones from just before everyone suddenly left, abandoning me without explaining what was happening to me, or my family, far away in strife).

Knowing how to work my digestion safely, but not allowed to. People with physical strength and dangerous words insist I do things their way, not mine.

I ask everyone to call me Mettā because in an increasingly child regressed state -- the one where you fake adulthood so people won't so easily kill you -- I deeply cannot understand how they could have let Megan die so violently, and never say a thing.

And I hope they remember that once we all were loving.

And might come back, having realized what happened.

They do not come back. Things get worse, instead.

I smile and make sure to please strangers to avoid being hurt worse while my gut invisibly rips itself to shreds...

...an ongoing and compounding pain I wonder if you can imagine protracted in such a way...

...and please the strangers just fine until struggling to serve their mandated cognitive dissonances crushes me forgotten between ships' hulls, and they -- these ones, anyway -- move on.

I think... maybe... I spend all of Christmas Day alone. Still discovering stitches, sorting.

I'm not sure if this was before or after trafficking started.

Sorting, stitching, a lot of emerging remembered things.

This is called The Holy City.

Used to sing it in concert in front of crowds, piano accompanied.

Crowds forgot.

But something else stayed.

Something revealing.

Cheryl Prax shares this news from Nigeria: People With Mental Health Conditions Chained, Abused. This press release about health, protection and human rights and persons with disabilities https://reliefweb.int/report/nigeria/nigeria-people-mental-health-conditions-chained-abused

https://www.facebook.com/1245116844/posts/10220880624385789/

"TRIGGER WARNING
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My coworker, in 2015, was caught by me, being sexual on the job, (we were mental health workers) with sexual assault survivors who could not leave the locked unit. I reported what he was doing and the company I worked for, secretly made the predatory coworker, my supervisor.

The company we worked for, covered up the sexual abuses and took punitive action against me for reporting the abuse. During this time period, the coworker, was knowingly left alone with other sexual assault survivors, and repeatedly was caught in the act and reported by Lahey Clinic clinicians to my company.

Three specific people in Massachusetts, knew that this was happening, in real time, when it was happening. Two of them are current 'Mad in America' bloggers. The third person, has resigned. Two women and one man. They will never be able to deny that they knew from day one that I told the truth about sexual abuse of vulnerable women and that for the past four years they have remained silent about this; as I melted down publicly.

The company we worked for, having made the predator my supervisor, demoted me into a stipend worker role via certified letter, claiming that I failed at completing my job duties.

The company we worked for also told me that if I looked the other way, then I could potentially go back to a regular hourly job.

I have not had a job in four years. I was prevented from getting work. "Anonymous" calls were made having me fired from consulting gigs in Ohio and Oregon. My personal work "Better Days" my source of income was targeted. A well known advocate in Massachusetts told me I would never work as a mental health worker again, if I did not stop talking about what happened; the sex abuse, the cover up, the blacklisting...

I pleaded with Robert Whitaker, the esteemed author of "Anatomy of an Epidemic" to assist me in getting my life back under control via allowing me to blog on his deeply respected website, Mad In America.

I was denied.

Mad in America continues to give free rein to their bloggers who have kept these secrets to blog on its website, while I am not permitted to.

Mad in America is the most influential media platform in the "lived experience" mental health world.

Mad in America is aware of this and is allowing it to continue to this day.

There are many reasons why I descended into poverty and homelessness. I did not begin accepting money to allow myself to be sexually abused because I wanted to.

*If this is flagged, it will be posted by several people on the their own pages. No more silencing the truth*

I begged about 1000 people to help me, most of them in professional mental health working roles. Mostly in writing, nearly all documented via timestamped email.

The only person who took me seriously was a US Government official at the Department of Health and Human Services, in Washington D.C. This official confirmed that I was a victim of professional retaliation. They called me a "whistleblower" and told me that I needed to file a lawsuit. The US Government then provided me with resources with which to get help in filing a lawsuit. I was already homeless by this point and could not do much without money, support or solidarity.

I audio recorded that phone call and I turned over the recording and hundreds of pages of documents that specifically backup all my statements, both in this posting here and everything else I've said about it, to a journalist.

Senator Elizabeth Warren is aware of what I experienced. Search on YouTube. It is a public live video.

I just woke up with a nightmare and I don't have any awareness of dreams when I sleep other than specific spiritual dreams once in a blue moon. I just woke up in a panic.

I have been informed that this article is going to be published this week, or very very soon. The journalist is horrified by what happened to me and is assisting me in getting my life back. This journalist is not just any journalist; they report on financial crimes and fraud.

Dear God please forgive me and protect me over the next several days because the spiritual attacks are coming from everywhere.

This four-year nightmare of mine will be over very soon; I can only imagine it's going to be a nightmare for lots of people who really need me to be viewed as crazy. Especially if they're one of the thousand people I asked for help, begging them in writing to help me save my life so I didn't suffer one moment longer.

If what I just shared wasn't enough to make you want to try to help me or jump off a bridge, it is this very denial of truth, that is causing the real and brutal suffering that I face every day I open my eyes. Being invalidated for what happened has made me very sick at times. And it is my extreme abuse reaction that is often used to further isolate and discredit me. It should be obvious why I freak out about this.

Before you judge a person for their actions, their words and their behavior; consider taking seriously that their words are valid and legitimate.

When I said I was being set up, blacklisted and retaliated against, for reporting sexual abuse; I told the truth.

Why wasn't I believed or supported?

Why did no one take me seriously until I audio recorded a government official stating of his own volition, based on his own analysis of the facts, without being prompted, that I was indeed victimized on a professional level for fulfilling my job

duties as required and I needed to file a lawsuit to get my life back?

Do you understand what it means that these recordings exist? I have known for 15 months, since making these recordings, that at some point the story was going to break and I would be able to begin to have my life back without all these disruptions, threats, interruptions, infiltrations and other maddening nonsense.

This whole thing is a gross mess that from the very beginning never should have happened because when you file a report regarding the sexual abuse of vulnerable people, when you have protected status, as a mental health worker, and your job requires you to file this report under penalty of being fired if you do not report; you violate federal law when you target the reporter. I am that reporter.

I turned that audio recording (there are two different audio recorded phone calls) over to the journalist who full well knows the law and know that I'm in the right, as did the DHHS official. This means someone else is in the wrong and in a very bad way.

For now on, everyone reading this, whether you like it or comment or read it or send it to your buddies who are involved with this in some way, directly or indirectly, who I have blocked to try to maintain my sanity, or whoever you are and whatever you do, you need to show me some fucking respect.

I will be treated with dignity and honor for executing my legally required job duties as a Certified Peer Specialist, whether anyone likes it or not.

As previously stated, this journalist knows I was wronged and they told me that I am no longer going to suffer in silence.

As I survive this week of patiently waiting, after four years of waiting for justice, for this dangerous story to be in the public; you all need to give me a break.

I'm in the final stretch of fighting for my life. If I act crazy or seem extreme; now you know what I'm going through. Any further actions taken to harm me will only result in those people setting their own lives on fire.

I admit I am suffering. I am facing an unnecessary money issue again. This whole entire thing torments me.

I told the journalist that upon publication of this story; that I would forgive all the people involved in this in any way, for I understand that most people are scared because of the obvious reasons.

By and large, the majority of those who have done wrong, did so out of fear of the truth, and not out of malice toward me.

However, there are a handful of specific malicious acts that are documented and known to the journalist.

Unfortunately the malice was easier to embrace and go along with than was actually standing in solidarity with me and helping out a fellow survivor be protected from the attacks coming at him for doing his legal duty as his job required.

Most people who have done me wrong were lied to or misled. They don't even know why they don't like me because they don't know the facts. Sadly this didn't prevent anyone from attacking me and my business.

It pains me to the deepest crevices of my soul, to have had to take such drastic steps just to receive basic justice for doing my job properly.

I forgive the people who harmed me for doing so without knowing what they're doing. I forgive them for acting out of fear.

I do not believe in retribution.

I do not believe in vengeance.

I do come from a rough-and-tumble background. Obviously I've been wronged in devastating ways and I can handle this one way or I can handle it another way.

As a spiritual person I reject vengeance. I refuse to hurt people because they hurt me.

As an empath, hurting someone else in my name hurts me also, even if they've hurt me.

Do not do harm in my name.

I ask all the people who are about to be outraged at what has happened to me; to move forward in their lives with love.

Do not act vengefully in my name.

There are dozens of ways people can help me; perpetuating abuse is not one of those ways.

Choose to be loving and forgiving and help make the world a better place.

Choose to stop the cycle of abuse that exists in our society. This is my choice. I refuse to let the abuse to continue. It stops now.

And for the next week or so, please be as gentle and kind and understanding of me as possible. I'm about to be released from years of torture and I require love, kindness and support.

I have been hurt financially making life incredibly hard to manage , and once this is all over with, people will treat me much better, when they realize that I'm not a con artist; that in fact, I am the victim of a federal law violation, and that a whole bunch of people know what is going on and they have kept their mouths shut for four years.

I am just trying to live a good life and do good in the world. I need this suffering to stop and that is what is happening in real time, in the life of Craig Lewis, the incredibly smart, devastatingly handsome and fun as can be life loving spiritual magician, and the author of The Better Days Mental Health Recovery Workbook.

Available very soon is my brand new book "The Craig Lewis Guide to Surviving the Impossible", based on the past four years of me, Craig Lewis, learning how to survive the impossible"

Sincerely,
❤Craig❤
November 10, 2019