🇺🇦🇷🇺⚡️ Reports of heavy usage of Soviet stolen "Chronosphere" technology

The establishment fears this

⚡️BREAKING⚡️
President Putin to announce his intention to join NATO in an address scheduled for this evening

Press Conference Jumpscare

Black magic NATO wizards locating homosexuals in the Donbas 💪💪💪

⚡️BREAKING ⚡️
🇯🇵 Tech giant Arasaka has repossessed Admin's prostate

Bellum Acta? More like Ballsem act up

⚡️Breaking News ⚡️
Reports of a motorist shitting himself on the Kerch Bridge

🇷🇺🚀 Man they weren't kidding, that ass can fart

I have secret intel that John Peterson Coon, Former White lives matters associate has heroically martyred himself on the cirmean Bridge...

More info to follow
-JLT out

Holy shit