frick you motherfricker!!! 😡

me: what do you want for dinner
bae: you decide
me: 😥

haha... just kidding.

*the two second wait until no one claims it*

Dude.

Wolfram Alpha + Khan Academy = Barely passing exams.

Always up to no good.

I like to live life on the edge.

Can't type a caption coz I'm holding too many groceries in my hands.

Factory reset.

⚡️ A tip from channel's admin: start studying cryptocurrency.

To get started: just subscribe to a special crypto channel that will teach anyone how to make $1000 from $100 in a few weeks or even faster.

The CRYPTO CREW team (Crypto-community №1 in EU Europe🇺🇦 ) have sources among oligarchs and a lot of insiders, thanks to which they were the first to report the fall of Bitcoin, and every day they report hundreds of new currencies like Bitcoin, which in a couple of months will grow to 15 -30 times.

More than 250,000 people have subscribed to the free, apply and you too: https://t.me/+MH4P6e6dtQsyYmE6

No 9am meetings please

Too many unread books on my shelf

It's my celebrity crush! Must buy!

That's the basic requirement of an entry-level job nowadays.