Just tell the truth, I knew it anyway

When you've already have 5 coffees but the essay didn't write itself.

Gym isn't that bad after all.

Ah, I see.

Maybe once every few years I hit delete all.

Don't let the soap industry know we do this.

I'm going to bed - 50m ago.
Last seen: 1m ago.

Eat more vegetables?

It's a trick to make you look at your notifications less.

No I don't like that.

Leave me alone

I'm not actually alive I'm just running on coffee.

My kink

Tag someone you can be crazy with

small pp gang 😥

Back pain in your area.

I wonder who's next to get married... not me.

Wow, Leonardo DiCaprio drew this?

Press it in the it sticks out then you grab it and pull it out again and oops the whole door fell off.

Be kind.