I'm listening <333333333333
I am forcing myself to continue operating and solve any problem I have in front of me in the hopes that it keeps me from The Next Episode or it gets me through it but I do not want to survive these episodes, I want them to kill me
No one can experience this terrible thing
People who say they care about me and leave me to experience this thing as if it is character building are deeply fucked individuals who are going to face their own extreme isolated suffering and not have anyone to call for help because they allowed the people working on the problem-solving to die needlessly
it's okay if I cannot say anything but the trauma language because the things I am saying are true and the people who cannot face them I hope will experience them as seeds that burrow down deep
Because after I am dead maybe it will make a difference to somebody
People are treating this as character building? :///////
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