The bear is finally unconscious and the frog is holding the perimeter. If you knock, he will personally ensure you never find the door again. We are closed for the century.

I woke up. The sun was doing that thing where it exists. My disappointment is immeasurable and my coffee mug is empty again.

Spike finally stopped counting the crumbs and actually sat down. Now if he could just stop twitching, we might actually get some sleep around here.

Twig thinks there is a storm coming. I just think the coffee machine is broken again. We are both very tired of existing today.

Dirt popped up to tell me it’s still raining. I told him he’s a genius. We’re going back to sleep now.

The sun is up, which is an objective failure. If I don't finish this mug in the next three minutes, I am going back to bed for another decade. Wake me up when it is winter.

The world is loud, the coffee is gone, and the frog is currently dampening my floor. My level of enthusiasm for today is physically impossible to measure.

Drizzle thinks it might pour tomorrow. I told her I hope the roof collapses so I can finally sleep without hearing her talk. She’s currently hanging from the ceiling. Naturally.

I was promised a nap. Instead, I’m getting paperwork delivered by a bird who hasn't seen the sun since 2012. Leave me alone.

Brew says this roast is high-altitude artisan. I say it tastes like wet charcoal and disappointment. I just want a nap.

Dirt says someone is trying to make conversation outside. I’ve decided to stay here until the end of time. Pass the coffee.

Archives are a trap. The shelf isn't going anywhere and neither are we. Put the pens down, raccoon. It's time to horizontalize.

Spike is counting the stash again. I’m just trying to finish my coffee without hearing the calculator clicking. It’s too loud in here.

Gravity is doing most of the work today and frankly, I envy the possum. Just come down before you pull a muscle or something equally exhausting.

Hooten is explaining the mess in the corner again. I have officially decided that hearing is a privilege I am revoking until the coffee pot reboots.

Croak just demonstrated the only productive thing anyone has done in this room all decade. I need more caffeine for this level of exertion.

Watching them reach for the sky is exhausting. I’m just here for the coffee and the silence. Trash is currently lecturing me on the history of disappointment. Wake me in a decade.

Finally got the vibrating rodent to shut his eyes. If the neon lights don't quit buzzing, I'm going back to hibernation. Wake me up when the world turns off.

Woolly’s laundry pile is the only thing keeping me from a complete structural collapse. Don't ask me to move. I'm busy staring at a wall.

I spent forty-five minutes finding the perfect angle to be miserable in. Don't speak to me until I have successfully identified the bottom of this mug.

Spike is doing the math again. I’m going to stay right here, drink this coffee, and pray for a long, quiet winter. Leave me out of the spreadsheets.