In the end I said go make your sister and mother your 'friend' it'll be better

This is the problem we want to live in comfort so we never make our own values, we never stand by them during storms.

It all just starts with 'joke' and slowly poisons are brain, as a wise person said
Joke should be in a way that you and the other person laughs too, like that other person is your sister
A joke built on humiliation is vulgarity

Now ask yourself do you have your true values? Or those values bend the moment when u want to fit in

Now what I'm going to say only few will understand, very few
If you want to be exceptional you're going to be different from everyone else, you can't fit in and also be exceptional, if you fit in you have internal conflict that you're not being 100%you
When you don't fit in u have external conflict that you're different from everyone else."

If you want to change then
The first law of change is realising you're wrong
The second law of change is action
The third law of change is discipline and consistency