BREAKING ⚡💥 MASSIVE RIOTS AND CLASHES IN THE STREETS OF MULFINGEN. COUNTER REVOLUTIONARIES FROM BADEN ARE SUSPECTED TO HAVE INFILTRATED CITY HALL AND RAISED THE PRICE OF A KEBAB TO 4€ PROUD SOLDIERS OF WÜRRTEMBERG ON THEIR WAY TO THE MAYOR RIGHT NOW TO GET IT BACK TO 3,50

💥BREAKING💥
UPRISINGS ALL AROUND THE SWABIAN LEAGUE AS ANBASTIST DISCONTENT RISES IN MERKEL’S GERMANY, CONFLICT OBSERVERS IN THE LANDSGRAVATE OF HESSE SAY A “FLORIAN GEYER” IS POTENTIALLY BEHIND THE UNREST

💥⚡RIOTS IN AND AROUND BURLADINGEN OVER THE TRIGEMA MONKEY WEARING A MASK

🟨⚡🌊 BREAKING: UNNAMED CONFLICT OBSERVER PISSED ALL OVER TRAIN TOILET. JUST DON'T SIT DOWN IN PUBLIC RESTROOMS

🙈IT WAS ME🙈
SORRY

⚡ Great Khan of Scranton, Lotus King of Delaware, Ascending Carp of Washington DC, Flying Phoenix of America, Eternal Dragon Emperor of Baskin-Robbins Zho Bi-Den allegedly mildly cranky after taking a bad nap

Ukraine was never real anyway lulz. Just give us Lemberg back as soon as the jews are gone