Everted Series on Suicide Prevention Awareness Month
#2
"Suicide is a passenger on a train of thought probably getting off at the wrong stop." The boy answers even if there was no question.
"Do you usually take the train?" The Doctor asks. She looks too calm.
"I walk." the boy answers.
But she can see that the boy hasn't left the train yet.
He continues,
"It's just that, whenever I take the train, I'm obliged to leave my seat for those in some kind of a bad condition. Every.Single.Time. So, I walk instead. Plus, I get to be in charge of my own pace."
After studying the boy, she adds,
"I don't really like taking the train myself. It's a lonely place."
Confused, the boy asks, "lonely? , it's the most crowded place ever." And right then he understood.
"Exactly." She smiles.
"So how do you move around?" The boy asks
"Carpool" she laughs.
"You know, you don't always have to walk. You'll be surprised how many people are willing to drive you home if you pause at some point and signal a car to stop. And they won't let you get off at the wrong stop."
The boy smiles. He has never had a conversation without wasting too many words. This was just two people listening instead of talking.
Picture : CCO
#2
"Suicide is a passenger on a train of thought probably getting off at the wrong stop." The boy answers even if there was no question.
"Do you usually take the train?" The Doctor asks. She looks too calm.
"I walk." the boy answers.
But she can see that the boy hasn't left the train yet.
He continues,
"It's just that, whenever I take the train, I'm obliged to leave my seat for those in some kind of a bad condition. Every.Single.Time. So, I walk instead. Plus, I get to be in charge of my own pace."
After studying the boy, she adds,
"I don't really like taking the train myself. It's a lonely place."
Confused, the boy asks, "lonely? , it's the most crowded place ever." And right then he understood.
"Exactly." She smiles.
"So how do you move around?" The boy asks
"Carpool" she laughs.
"You know, you don't always have to walk. You'll be surprised how many people are willing to drive you home if you pause at some point and signal a car to stop. And they won't let you get off at the wrong stop."
The boy smiles. He has never had a conversation without wasting too many words. This was just two people listening instead of talking.
Picture : CCO
#3
Today, I can see you clearly from where you're seated. It was just me and you ten minutes ago. And now, every seat is taken. You're looking outside the window, through the side mirrors of the bus. Looking at the road we're passing by. Staring into our past. Here I am watching you through the rear view mirror. Not once did our eyes meet. You're looking backwards without turning back and I'm learning the ways to how to travel back in time while moving forth.
Out of no where the bus gets out of control. The conductor says something about the brakes. He's telling everyone by the window seats to move. We all did except you. Every one is panicking but you have this strange smile on your face. Some of the passengers at the back are praying, some holding on to their kids, and I, holding on to your eyes which are now looking at the road ahead. It's like you can't wait. We are driving on the other lane. Not our lane. There's a car coming at us. We hold on to whatever we could find. You just closed your eyes. The driver turns the car around and crashes the bus to a tree. The driver turned around to the passengers asking if anyone is hurt. Fortunately, nobody's hurt. Except you. You look disappointed. The passengers at the backseat are thanking their God. But I just read your lips, "Damn it." You said. You were looking forward to the crash weren't you?
Picture : Sam Kanter
Today, I can see you clearly from where you're seated. It was just me and you ten minutes ago. And now, every seat is taken. You're looking outside the window, through the side mirrors of the bus. Looking at the road we're passing by. Staring into our past. Here I am watching you through the rear view mirror. Not once did our eyes meet. You're looking backwards without turning back and I'm learning the ways to how to travel back in time while moving forth.
Out of no where the bus gets out of control. The conductor says something about the brakes. He's telling everyone by the window seats to move. We all did except you. Every one is panicking but you have this strange smile on your face. Some of the passengers at the back are praying, some holding on to their kids, and I, holding on to your eyes which are now looking at the road ahead. It's like you can't wait. We are driving on the other lane. Not our lane. There's a car coming at us. We hold on to whatever we could find. You just closed your eyes. The driver turns the car around and crashes the bus to a tree. The driver turned around to the passengers asking if anyone is hurt. Fortunately, nobody's hurt. Except you. You look disappointed. The passengers at the backseat are thanking their God. But I just read your lips, "Damn it." You said. You were looking forward to the crash weren't you?
Picture : Sam Kanter
#4
"I'm in love?" He tells her
"Why am I not surprised? How are you always in love anyway? One soul after another?" She asks. The one who's always by his side.
"Well, I live a love at a time. That's the only way I make a life out of this eternal episode of existence. When I love, I go out exploring parts of me I might have overlooked. Before I know it, days turn to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. And by the end of every year, I find myself alive. Heartbroken. And wise enough to do it all over again.
Picture : Aesthetics
"I'm in love?" He tells her
"Why am I not surprised? How are you always in love anyway? One soul after another?" She asks. The one who's always by his side.
"Well, I live a love at a time. That's the only way I make a life out of this eternal episode of existence. When I love, I go out exploring parts of me I might have overlooked. Before I know it, days turn to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. And by the end of every year, I find myself alive. Heartbroken. And wise enough to do it all over again.
Picture : Aesthetics
Forwarded from Bruh Club
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“What do you see in fireworks anyway?” they ask every New Year’s Eve
I’d tell the same story every year
“It’s believed that the first natural “Fire crackers” were bamboo stalks that when in thrown in a fire,
would explode with a bang because of the overheating of the hollow air pockets in the bamboo.”
Some say fireworks are just chemical reactions.
A combination of an Oxidizer, a fuel, and chemical mixture to produce the color
And they still ask, “What do you see in fireworks?”
I see the reaction
And I see the sound as much as I see the colors
My body has once been the bamboo thrown in the fire
My hope the hollow air pockets
My anger as the fuel
My fear the oxidizer
And my naivety the mixture to produce color
Every once in a year
I like to watch what all that actually looks like from the outside
That’s what I see in fireworks
I see myself inside out.
Picture : Jake Elko
I’d tell the same story every year
“It’s believed that the first natural “Fire crackers” were bamboo stalks that when in thrown in a fire,
would explode with a bang because of the overheating of the hollow air pockets in the bamboo.”
Some say fireworks are just chemical reactions.
A combination of an Oxidizer, a fuel, and chemical mixture to produce the color
And they still ask, “What do you see in fireworks?”
I see the reaction
And I see the sound as much as I see the colors
My body has once been the bamboo thrown in the fire
My hope the hollow air pockets
My anger as the fuel
My fear the oxidizer
And my naivety the mixture to produce color
Every once in a year
I like to watch what all that actually looks like from the outside
That’s what I see in fireworks
I see myself inside out.
Picture : Jake Elko
All I hear is "Goodbye"
In every "Hello",
In every "Stay"
In every "I love you"
In every "I'm sorry"
In every "I hear you"
In every "I'm here"
And in every "I got you".
In every "Hello",
In every "Stay"
In every "I love you"
In every "I'm sorry"
In every "I hear you"
In every "I'm here"
And in every "I got you".
Letter to my "almost" lover,
Remember when we almost created a universe when our minds banged?
Remember when we almost created a universe when our minds banged?
"How do you write so many beautiful pieces on love? Don't you like, live alone?" A woman asked after a reading.
He cleared his throat and answered
"Well, I write about what could have been, I right the love on paper. Because, in my head, all the love I have ever given out comes back, how beautiful is that. To love without a curfew. In my head, there's so much love and life doesn't get in the way."
Picture : Comet, 2014
He cleared his throat and answered
"Well, I write about what could have been, I right the love on paper. Because, in my head, all the love I have ever given out comes back, how beautiful is that. To love without a curfew. In my head, there's so much love and life doesn't get in the way."
Picture : Comet, 2014
"I think I'm love." She tells him
"That's impossible. You had your heart broken only a year ago and you've already been in love like twice ever since. You can only fall in love once." He's disappointed.
She laughs in her naive way, "Yeah but not when you're a giver. You see, you're either a giver or a taker.
When you're a taker, you can only fall in love once because you think no one could ever provide you with the emotional needs you seek for like that one person.
But when you're a giver, you'll have a lot of love in you that all you need is the right soul to place that love in. And there will always be enough left.
Also, who said that once has to last only year. I fell in love once and I've been falling ever since. And I hope that "once" lasts a life time."
Picture : Flora Cash
"That's impossible. You had your heart broken only a year ago and you've already been in love like twice ever since. You can only fall in love once." He's disappointed.
She laughs in her naive way, "Yeah but not when you're a giver. You see, you're either a giver or a taker.
When you're a taker, you can only fall in love once because you think no one could ever provide you with the emotional needs you seek for like that one person.
But when you're a giver, you'll have a lot of love in you that all you need is the right soul to place that love in. And there will always be enough left.
Also, who said that once has to last only year. I fell in love once and I've been falling ever since. And I hope that "once" lasts a life time."
Picture : Flora Cash
I once said I would offer myself as a test subject for the Mars project even if it means a one way trip. It's just that, when I die, I'd want some space.
They said that was a selfish thing to say. To want to disappear, willingly. But, they are right. How dare I make my life about me, let alone my death. Right?
Picture : Aesthetics
They said that was a selfish thing to say. To want to disappear, willingly. But, they are right. How dare I make my life about me, let alone my death. Right?
Picture : Aesthetics
Today I went for a handshake and I got a hug instead.
You know what they say about “The highs being high and the lows being low.”
Yeah.
It wasn’t just a hug. It was the “I see you” kind of hug. I tried to let go but he held on to it.
We had a mutual understanding
My hug said, “I am tired”
And his said, “It’s okay.”
That was the best feeling I have had in a while.
When the highs hit,
I have this urge to know about how everyone’s day is going
When the highs hit
I exercise
I drink water
When the highs hit
I will show up at that event with 100 people and it won’t kill me
When the highs hit
I fall asleep at 8:00 pm
But then there are the lows
When the lows hit,
I won’t be able to laugh at your jokes but I would still smile like a minute after you told them
When the lows hit
I choke on water
When the lows hit
I count the breaths I take
When the lows hit
My eyelids get heavy
When the lows hit
I would make a bed out of every place so I could at least rest.
Picture : Aesthetics
You know what they say about “The highs being high and the lows being low.”
Yeah.
It wasn’t just a hug. It was the “I see you” kind of hug. I tried to let go but he held on to it.
We had a mutual understanding
My hug said, “I am tired”
And his said, “It’s okay.”
That was the best feeling I have had in a while.
When the highs hit,
I have this urge to know about how everyone’s day is going
When the highs hit
I exercise
I drink water
When the highs hit
I will show up at that event with 100 people and it won’t kill me
When the highs hit
I fall asleep at 8:00 pm
But then there are the lows
When the lows hit,
I won’t be able to laugh at your jokes but I would still smile like a minute after you told them
When the lows hit
I choke on water
When the lows hit
I count the breaths I take
When the lows hit
My eyelids get heavy
When the lows hit
I would make a bed out of every place so I could at least rest.
Picture : Aesthetics
The reading room gave her a standing ovation
Returning to the mic,
"I sometimes , secretly hope that you'd take my poems seriously
Not all of them
Just the ones speaking of 3ams
Yellow
And bruises on the ribs from expanding and collapsing too much during panic breaths"
She says
They applaud her cry even more.
Picture : Alamy
Returning to the mic,
"I sometimes , secretly hope that you'd take my poems seriously
Not all of them
Just the ones speaking of 3ams
Yellow
And bruises on the ribs from expanding and collapsing too much during panic breaths"
She says
They applaud her cry even more.
Picture : Alamy
Here is the thing about depression.
It gets better at some point. One morning you find yourself breathing without a
lump in your throat. You find yourself getting up early to do some exercise. You find yourself drinking water, watching what you eat, taking yourself to the cinema,
buying yourself the things you’ve always wanted but didn’t have the energy for,
attending events and relating with “How-to” books and sharing meditative blogs. It
gets better. And you start feeling like all of it is a choice, YOUR choice, and that all
you need to change is your mindset. It gets better. One morning you find yourself
taking care of your nails, your hair and even your purse. And then, some late afternoon, while making your bed, it’ll hit you. And it will hit you hard. You’ll slip in between the sheets. You will binge-watch some show you’ve already watched. You will find yourself back to square one but harder. Harder because you will try to convince yourself that it’s a choice. After three days in bed, you will find out it’s not really a choice. Taking care of your hair becomes so consuming. The things you bought yourself won’t matter as they did a week ago. You’ll realize the “How-to” books aren’t for people like you. You’d forget to remind yourself to eat and you won’t know until you feel your hands shaking. Sighing persistently becomes your new breathing. Until one morning. Where you wake up and find yourself breathing without a lump in your throat and getting up feels like a choice.
*Stop telling people it’s a choice when it’s not yours to make.
*Be patient with yourself.
*Be there, wherever that is at that point.
*Be patient with others. Let them have the late afternoon and the three day they
need.
Picture : Aesthetic
It gets better at some point. One morning you find yourself breathing without a
lump in your throat. You find yourself getting up early to do some exercise. You find yourself drinking water, watching what you eat, taking yourself to the cinema,
buying yourself the things you’ve always wanted but didn’t have the energy for,
attending events and relating with “How-to” books and sharing meditative blogs. It
gets better. And you start feeling like all of it is a choice, YOUR choice, and that all
you need to change is your mindset. It gets better. One morning you find yourself
taking care of your nails, your hair and even your purse. And then, some late afternoon, while making your bed, it’ll hit you. And it will hit you hard. You’ll slip in between the sheets. You will binge-watch some show you’ve already watched. You will find yourself back to square one but harder. Harder because you will try to convince yourself that it’s a choice. After three days in bed, you will find out it’s not really a choice. Taking care of your hair becomes so consuming. The things you bought yourself won’t matter as they did a week ago. You’ll realize the “How-to” books aren’t for people like you. You’d forget to remind yourself to eat and you won’t know until you feel your hands shaking. Sighing persistently becomes your new breathing. Until one morning. Where you wake up and find yourself breathing without a lump in your throat and getting up feels like a choice.
*Stop telling people it’s a choice when it’s not yours to make.
*Be patient with yourself.
*Be there, wherever that is at that point.
*Be patient with others. Let them have the late afternoon and the three day they
need.
Picture : Aesthetic