Under the burden
of solitude,
under the burden
of dissatisfaction
the weight,
the weight we carry
is love.

Allen Ginsberg

The Perpetual Student - Domo Futu
https://domofutu.substack.com/p/the-perpetual-student

I’m beginning to know myself. I don’t exist.
I’m the interval between what I want to be and what others made of me,
Or half of that interval, because there’s life too . . .
This, ultimately, is what I am . . .

— Fernando Pessoa, writing as Álvaro de Campos

"The ruling totalitarian-ideological class is the ruler of a world turned upside down. The more powerful the class, the more it claims not to exist, and its power is employed above all to enforce this claim. It is modest only on this one point, however, because this officially nonexistent bureaucracy simultaneously attributes the crowning achievements of history to its own infallible leadership. Though its existence is everywhere in evidence, the bureaucracy must be invisible as a class. As a result, all social life becomes insane. The social organization of total falsehood stems from this fundamental contradiction."

The Society of the Spectacle by Guy Debord

Enjoying free will is knowing that any moment i can blow my brains out if I'm tired of living.