why do they all think i'm lowkey a machine with no feelings like why is it so easy for them to wreck me and just walk away over my pieces as if i don't even matter
do they really think that just bc i'm a poor obscure ordinary little girl i don't have a heart or a soul to feel pain like why does everyone take my silence as if i'm totally numb they don't see how much i'm burning inside or how many battles i gotta fight alone every single night just to act fine the next day
i'm not a stone or some random object they can just trash and i'm not just someone with no shadow for them to step on my pride being small doesn't mean my wounds don't hurt and being poor doesn't mean i don't feel things and my mystery isn't dryness it's just my shield to hide from their toxicity i feel every single letdown and every judgment stabs my heart and every harsh word hurts so bad
it sucks so much to be treated like nothing like a broken toy it's like they don't even realize that behind this ordinary face there's a soul dying every second while trying to hold it together i got more feelings than this whole world and my heart can hold so much love and pain so why do they keep breaking me like i got no soul why do they take my silence as a pass to keep hurting me
i am "Not a machine" i'm a human being with real feelings and i got a pride that weighs a mountain and my soul is too pure for them to ruin even if they keep trying to break me down
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عِندما تَنظُرُ فِي عَينِ الشمسِ بِدَاخِلِكَ،وتَرَى أَن كُل خَدِيعَةٍ تَترُكُ خَلفَهَا نَفياً مُؤَبداً لِلرُوح، أَيُ مَهرَبٍ لَكَ مِن نَفسِكَ حِينَ تَنطَفِئُ المَصَابِيح؟عِندما تَشرَبُ خَيبَةَ الوُقُوعِ فِي شِبَاكِ أَوهَامِك،، وتَرتَطِمُ بِالأَرضِ بَعدَ أن هَوَت قُصُورُكَ المَشِيدَةُ فِي الهَوَاء، هَل سَتُدرِكُ أَن الظِلَ لَا يَختَفِي، بَلْ يَنتَظِرُ الحَقِيقَةَ لِيَبتَلِعَكَ؟

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what did we gain from having a beating heartwhat did we get from a mind that thinks in a world of losswas not the eternal sleep in nothingnessfar more merciful than this

what if nothingness was more merciful than existence
i was a calm nothing
i did not know the meaning of waiting
i did not know the heavy weight of disappointment
i never tasted the bitterness of loss
then i was born
so i had to learn how a human carries a breaking heart
i had to learn how to live with a mind that never stops questioning
i had to carry a soul that life exhausts every single day
and as soon as i got used to the pain
i was told that the end is just a return to nothingness
so what did i ever gain between these two voids
what did i gain other than endless tiredness
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لو كان الغياب يقللُ من المحبة، لما كان الحي يبكي على الميِت.
كم من غائبٍ تحت الثُرى، تنبضُ لهُ العروقُ شوقاً، وتفيضُ لهُ العينُ بدموعٍ كالمطر
فالمسافات لا تقتل الهوى، والتراب لا يُواري صدق الوفاء.

تموت الأجساد، وتجف الألسن، وتذبلُ الوجوه، لكنَ الحب في حنايا الروح يظلُ حياً لا يموت.

يؤلمُني الإبتعادَ عنكَ
ولا أستطيعُ الإقتراب منكَ
فقُل لي أيَ الألمينِ أخف؟

يقولك الشاعر تُهت في بحور عيونها واخبرت قلبي ان لايعوم فيغرق مالي في عيونها تائهُاً كطفل في الجنه تائه