Been up to stuff all day, I wanted to change my right click context menu but the trustedinstaller on windows wouldn't allow me to edit that in the registry, so all day i eorked on setting up a windows PE usb so I could just edit the registry without windows being loaded so there is no trustedinstaller to stop me, setting up windows pe is pretty straight forward but I also wanted to have the EFI shell as well for low level stuff so I spent a really long time researching how to do that and I had to learn how to configure the grub bootloader and compile it very cool but yeah I have the usb now so I can fuck with whatever I want(somewhat) on a firmware level or edit windows stuff. All of this to add an option to the context menu on windows ;-;.

But yeah if I'm gonna get any further I need to know things for real instead of knowing what exists and the edits people have done I need to learn C and that is one of my goals. I haven't been able to complete any courses on my own and I think the structure of a in person college course will help me complete courses.

Now that I'm back in college (btw getting in isn't a big deal really they accept people who don't even have a diploma, I have one but yeah, I also am going in non-degree seeking so I don't have to worry about some prerequisites) and there's less pressure this time I hope I can directly get into a programming course it need to start from the beginning because my knowledge is very fractured, I know some of some things and how it works but I don't know the specifics, and even though I'm certified in JavaScript I haven't touched that in like 6 years and don't remember anything. But yeah im feeling better about this time motivation wise which was the killer the last 2 times.

There are still some classes that I can register for so we'll see what I can do but no promises to myself because I really don't know but it is different this time so there's a chance it will work out

Fuckkkkkk fuel is gonna cost so much

Good video btw

This is the easiest way I can put it but experiencing the antidepressant withdrawal symptoms really had me make some interesting realizations about how my emotions and consciousness works

I really do never ever ever want to go through that again, my symptoms a bit less now, there's been some like really bad periods of irritability here and there but its not all day or constant. Maybe an hour maximum instead of 3 or 5 hours of intense irritability and frustration at the same time over anything. Idk I think there was some major emotional blunting going on because everything feels so much more like raw now. My inner voice is back and actually like idk constantly thinking again(which is good I enjoy it) idk how to explain the other stuff, it's really interesting and I am going to talk about it with my therapist for sure.

So uh y'all

I've been working on stuff