😡 Okay, you nerds, Durov’s letting you sleep.
Now your stupid gifts can be upgraded into NFTs.

BUT guess what?!
At first the upgrade cost 25,000 ⭐️ 🤣
Ahaha, seriously? 25.000 freakin’ stars for one button?!

😏 Yeah right, who needs captcha when you can just pay for a couple of fat dinners in Paris.

Now it’s dropped to 7,500 ⭐️,
but I swear it’s gonna be back to 25 ⭐️, and you idiots will miss out again.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

Everything’s crashing, you nerds! 📉

TON❤️ is down. Gifts... are down too 😭

So what, end of an era? Hell no! 🤷‍♂️

Yeah, prices dropped. But if you take two steps back — most gifts are still showing fat gains from the floor 😆

So why the hell are you panicking and dumping them at a loss, idiots? I think this TG story is here to stay

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😂 Hey nerds, did anyone actually use these damn gifts for birthdays? 🎉

Or is it just the usual speculation and scam?

📈 Plush Pepe🐸 at 300❤️ is already gone.
So either gift them or keep jerking off to charts.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🎁 The floor on these dumb caps is flying high, you nerds! 🚀

Everyone’s celebrating like they’re gonna be billionaires.

BUT… just imagine tomorrow 1 TON❤️ = 💵1 ☺️
Then you can shove those caps straight up your ass.

Ahaha, now THAT would be a party🎉

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💘 So, you nerds, waiting for new gifts on Valentine’s Day?

Ahaha, of course you are — nobody’s giving you anything IRL anyway😦

🙄 So just sit there, jerk off to your NFT crap and dream about love on the blockchain.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💘 Yo, nerds!

It’s me, Cartman, and I’m here to wish you a happy dumb holiday — Valentine’s Day👃

I wish you all to find your true love…
Ahaha, just kidding! 🤣
Your only real love is TON, NFTs, and those stupid Telegram gifts

So go hug your wallet and kiss your Pepe 😏

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😯 So, nerds, for March 8 they dropped new gifts — DYSONS💨

Yeah, now you can “celebrate” your girl with some overpriced virtual crap

And you know what you’ll get IRL?
She gives you socks and shaving cream, while you drop a pixel hair dryer in her wallet🚬

Ahaha, perfect holiday, you dumb romantics...

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💎💎 All those damn 0.5% bags are gone!

Floor is already 100 TON ❤️🚀

Ahaha, seriously? 100 TON for a pixel bag?!😯

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😭 BYBIT GOT HACKED, YOU NERDS?!?

Ahaha, don’t piss yourselves — but yeah, they actually got wrecked.

The CEO confirmed: a hacker snagged access to Bybit’s cold Ethereum wallet and walked off with 401,346 ETH
That’s freaking $1.2 BILLION, idiots! 💸

😆So if you had your pathetic pennies there, get ready — they’re gone, riding into the sunset with the hacker

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

❄️ So, you nerds, the market shook you up real good, huh?
Bitcoin just dumped back to 85.000💵 📉

Ahaha, all your dreams about Lambos and yachts — shove ‘em up your ass for now🚗

🔞 But don’t piss yourselves — it’s Bitcoin
It only dumps so it can screw you again later

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🎩 The number of damn scammers on Telegram just keeps growing, you nerds!

😫 And you’re still falling for these cheap tricks? Ahaha, dumb sheep.

Remember this:

Never send money or gifts first!

Or you’ll end up without TON❤️, without NFTs, and without dignity😆

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💸💸 So, you nerds, Telegram now has paid messages!

Ahaha, yeah, you can actually charge people just to write to you.

I can already see some loser setting the price at 1 TON❤️…
And nobody writes him, because nobody gives a damn about him🎮

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🪖 These damn Spartan helmets are almost gone, you nerds!

Less than 10% left — by tonight you’ll miss out, idiots😏

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🖤 Ahaha, you nerds, even the dumbest black background gifts are trading from 4 TON❤️ already!

Seriously? 4 TON❤️ for some pixel crap on a black background?! 😯

But go ahead, keep scooping them up — later you’ll just cry that you missed out

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

✈️ Ahaha, you nerds!

Durov got his travel ban lifted in France — and TON❤️ is already at 💵3.5
Now he can go anywhere, while you’re still stuck with no gains👸

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🎁 So, you nerds, it’s over — old gifts can’t be exchanged for stars anymore

The timer went from 90 days down to 7 😯

Ahaha, now your crap can only be “upgraded”!

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😫 I’m so sick of your damn PAWS listing, you nerds!

Isn’t it obvious you’re all gonna get shaved like total losers? 🤢

Ahaha, but it’s fine — later you’ll just cry in chats about how you got wrecked again.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💩💩 Ahaha, you nerds! All those crappy “poop gifts” are sold out already! 💩💩

What’s next — trading toilet paper?

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🚀 Nerds, there are less than 4000 of these damn rockets left!

Ahaha, get ready to suck it when they’re all gone without you😡

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🥳 So, nerds, waiting for your shitty gifts tonight?

Ahaha, of course you are — ‘cause nobody gives you anything in real life anyway. 🤣

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🥚 Ahaha, you nerds!

After the upgrade dropped, you wiped out almost 100K of these damn eggs in just an hour!

What’s next — gonna fry them or boil them? 🎧

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀