🎉 Okay, you nerds, TON❤️ is back at $5.5!

And you know what? Damn it, I didn’t ape in at the bottom…

😭 Now everyone’s running around, screaming and FOMO-ing like a herd of dumb cows.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🍆 Who’s getting wrecked by FOMO already?

$TRUMP launched at $7–8, and all the nerds are already rushing to buy it.

Here’s what I say:

Either you grab $TRUMP, or you just sit and watch everyone else get fat.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😨 How many X’s did these damn gifts give?

Just a little, you nerds:

🐸 Plush Pepe +10100 %

🎁 Durov's Cap +1933 %

🍑 Peach +1466 %

💍 Bonded Ring +1353 %

🎁 Vintage Cigar +1300 %

🎁 Perfume Bottle +713 %

😫 And what now, you all think you’re pro traders, huh?
Did any of you actually grab something, or as always — just watching and whining? 👀

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🐸 $38,000 for a damn picture, you nerds!

The rarest Plush Pepe sold for almost $38,000 🤯

And what, you really think this crap is gonna pay off?
Ha-ha, good luck, idiots. 😯

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😫 $TRUMP is dumping, you nerds!

So what, are you already in panic? FOMO is eating you like a fat hamburger? 🍔

Some idiots already blew all their money when the token crashed from $77 to $56.
But you know what? It still beat TON❤️ in market cap 😙

👏 So listen up, newbies:

Spot only, morons. Don’t touch futures if you don’t understand shit.

And remember: think with your head, not your ass.
Take profits before you’re left with broccoli 🥦.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💎🍆 Durov remembered TON again, you nerds!

That’s already his 3rd post this January. What, the court finally backed off so he can start making money again? 🤨

🎁 And guess what — now TON❤️ is the only option for mini-apps.
Don’t even try with other blockchains, you morons.

⬆️ TonFoundation dropped $300M on this 😫
And you thought this shit was gonna be cheap?

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😏 So what, you nerds, finally “made it”…

Now they say “the first NFT gifts can be sent to the blockchain” ❤️

Ahaha, yeah right. In reality this crap doesn’t even work.
And what did you expect? There’s a lot written on walls too — you believe all of it, clowns? 🤡

We waited 3 weeks, we can wait N more years, whatever.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🎁 So, you nerds, this damn cap just sold on Getgems for 400 TON! 🎁

For now, that’s the record for caps.

And now the question:

$2,000 for a virtual hat — too much or too little, morons? 🍆

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😫 28 freaking days without new gifts, you nerds!

🙄 So what now, just sitting around watching your old crap rot?

Soon this whole “gift market” will smell just like my gym socks. 🤢

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😡 Okay, you nerds, Durov’s letting you sleep.
Now your stupid gifts can be upgraded into NFTs.

BUT guess what?!
At first the upgrade cost 25,000 ⭐️ 🤣
Ahaha, seriously? 25.000 freakin’ stars for one button?!

😏 Yeah right, who needs captcha when you can just pay for a couple of fat dinners in Paris.

Now it’s dropped to 7,500 ⭐️,
but I swear it’s gonna be back to 25 ⭐️, and you idiots will miss out again.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

Everything’s crashing, you nerds! 📉

TON❤️ is down. Gifts... are down too 😭

So what, end of an era? Hell no! 🤷‍♂️

Yeah, prices dropped. But if you take two steps back — most gifts are still showing fat gains from the floor 😆

So why the hell are you panicking and dumping them at a loss, idiots? I think this TG story is here to stay

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😂 Hey nerds, did anyone actually use these damn gifts for birthdays? 🎉

Or is it just the usual speculation and scam?

📈 Plush Pepe🐸 at 300❤️ is already gone.
So either gift them or keep jerking off to charts.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🎁 The floor on these dumb caps is flying high, you nerds! 🚀

Everyone’s celebrating like they’re gonna be billionaires.

BUT… just imagine tomorrow 1 TON❤️ = 💵1 ☺️
Then you can shove those caps straight up your ass.

Ahaha, now THAT would be a party🎉

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💘 So, you nerds, waiting for new gifts on Valentine’s Day?

Ahaha, of course you are — nobody’s giving you anything IRL anyway😦

🙄 So just sit there, jerk off to your NFT crap and dream about love on the blockchain.

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💘 Yo, nerds!

It’s me, Cartman, and I’m here to wish you a happy dumb holiday — Valentine’s Day👃

I wish you all to find your true love…
Ahaha, just kidding! 🤣
Your only real love is TON, NFTs, and those stupid Telegram gifts

So go hug your wallet and kiss your Pepe 😏

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😯 So, nerds, for March 8 they dropped new gifts — DYSONS💨

Yeah, now you can “celebrate” your girl with some overpriced virtual crap

And you know what you’ll get IRL?
She gives you socks and shaving cream, while you drop a pixel hair dryer in her wallet🚬

Ahaha, perfect holiday, you dumb romantics...

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💎💎 All those damn 0.5% bags are gone!

Floor is already 100 TON ❤️🚀

Ahaha, seriously? 100 TON for a pixel bag?!😯

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

😭 BYBIT GOT HACKED, YOU NERDS?!?

Ahaha, don’t piss yourselves — but yeah, they actually got wrecked.

The CEO confirmed: a hacker snagged access to Bybit’s cold Ethereum wallet and walked off with 401,346 ETH
That’s freaking $1.2 BILLION, idiots! 💸

😆So if you had your pathetic pennies there, get ready — they’re gone, riding into the sunset with the hacker

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

❄️ So, you nerds, the market shook you up real good, huh?
Bitcoin just dumped back to 85.000💵 📉

Ahaha, all your dreams about Lambos and yachts — shove ‘em up your ass for now🚗

🔞 But don’t piss yourselves — it’s Bitcoin
It only dumps so it can screw you again later

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

🎩 The number of damn scammers on Telegram just keeps growing, you nerds!

😫 And you’re still falling for these cheap tricks? Ahaha, dumb sheep.

Remember this:

Never send money or gifts first!

Or you’ll end up without TON❤️, without NFTs, and without dignity😆

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀

💸💸 So, you nerds, Telegram now has paid messages!

Ahaha, yeah, you can actually charge people just to write to you.

I can already see some loser setting the price at 1 TON❤️…
And nobody writes him, because nobody gives a damn about him🎮

Cartman Crypto Club 🚀