>"stamattina mi sveglio e scrivo"
>Mia madre: devo pulire casa, mi passi l'aspirapolvere ovunque
>Boh facciamolo massimo un'ora e poi sparisco per il resto della giornata
>L'aspirapolvere non aspira
>"Non è vero"
>"Guarda, non prende una graffetta"
>Ah pulisci il filtro
>Non è quello
>Fallo
>Lo faccio, non cambia
>Ah allora smontalo e vedi se è intasato
>Ma non può essere bloccato, questo non è come quello vecchio ha il motore attaccato al filtro
>Ma non lo puoi sapere se non lo apri
>Ma sì invece
>Si arrabbia e mi offende
>Prendo i cacciaviti, non vanno bene, lo comunico che non ne abbiamo di lunghi e stretti abbastanza
>Mi porta un coso per stringere i dadi, nel farlo mi schiaccia il piede
>"Eh madonna santa non pensavo fossi così sensibile"
>"Ma chiedi scusa almeno"
>"E che ho fatto ora?"
>Lascio stare e dico "ma perché hai portato quel coso?"
>"Perché se hai un cacciavite abbastanza piccolo lo attacchi a questo e vai più in fondo"
>"Ma come passa il manico del cacciavite scusa, e come ce lo infilo poi"
>"Eh ma ho detto se lo hai piccolo! Mi guardi sempre con questo odio negli occhi"
>Se ne va offesa
>"Se non ti va bene quello che ti dico devi scendere a comprarne uno nuovo"
>Scendo a comprare un cacciavite più adatto, prendo il più lungo e fino
>Risalgo, non va bene
>Mia madre: "eh ma sei andato solo in un negozio devi riscendere"
>Riscendo, vado in 3 posti diversi e compro 3 cacciaviti diversi, ritorno
>"Ma quanto hai speso, 4 euro mamma mia!"
>Smonto l'aspirapolvere.
>Non è ostruito
>Era come dicevo io
>"E ora quindi che devo fare?"
>"Rimontalo, che devi fare."
>Rimonto
>Cade fuori roba dal filtro che non aveva aspirato quando lo rimonto
>Chiedo che altro dovrei fare
>"Passa l'aspirapolvere nelle altre stanza, no?"
>"Ma non aspira...?"
>"Hai riprovato?"
>"No ma-"
>Lo riaccende lei, lo passa tre volte sopra la roba caduta e aspira a malapena, esattamente come prima
>"Vedi, alla fine miracolosamente aspira di nuovo"
>"Va bene, io vado in camera"
>Si incazza con me

Ma lasciala sognare

tf22222222222222222
https://www.twitch.tv/jacklemon77/

maquiavelico è canon ora

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1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
7. earbuds or headphones?
8. movies or tv shows?
9. favorite smell in the summer?
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
12. name of your favorite playlist?
13. lanyard or key ring?
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
18. ideal weather?
19. sleeping position?
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
21. obsession from childhood?
22. role model?
23. strange habits?
24. favorite crystal?
25. first song you remember hearing?
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
28. five songs to describe you?
29. best way to bond with you?
30. places that you find sacred?
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
32. top five favorite vines?
33. most used phrase in your phone?
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
35. average time you fall asleep?
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
38. lemonade or tea?
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
41. last person you texted?
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
44. favorite scent for soap?
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
47. favorite type of cheese?
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
51. current stresses?
52. favorite font?
53. what is the current state of your hands?
54. what did you learn from your first job?
55. favorite fairy tale?
56. favorite tradition?
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
62. seven characters you relate to?
63. five songs that would play in your club?
64. favorite website from your childhood?
65. any permanent scars?
66. favorite flower(s)?
67. good luck charms?
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
70. left or right handed?
71. least favorite pattern?
72. worst subject?
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
82. pc or console?
83. writing or drawing?
84. podcasts or talk radio?
84. barbie or polly pocket?
85. fairy tales or mythology?
86. cookies or cupcakes?
87. your greatest fear?
88. your greatest wish?
89. who would you put before everyone else?
90. luckiest mistake?
91. boxes or bags?
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
93. nicknames?
94. favorite season?
95. favorite app on your phone?
96. desktop background?
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
98. favorite historical era?