“Killing yourself slowly is still killing yourself. Wanting to die is not the same as wanting to come home. Recovery is hard work. Not wanting to die is hard work.”
― Blythe Baird, Give Me A God I Can Relate To

"This total surrender of one heart to another, this quiet fullness of the soul, it is at least our victory and our reward."

"like a shadow, I am and I am not"

- Rumi

"to live in the body of a survivor is to never be able to leave the scene of the crime.
i cannot ignore the fact that i live here."

- Blythe Baird, If my Body Could Speak

مابين همسك يا هوايا وبين جفنك لى قدر
يمضى بنا فى رحلة الأشواق نشوان الوتر
فأذيب ايامى بكأسك يا رحيقى المنتظر
أهواك يا قدرى وأهوى أن يطول بنا السفر
وأعيش فى عينيك أيامي واستبق المنى
وتهيم اشواقي ولا أدري بقربك ... من أنا

هل تذكر الفجر الذي القى على الأهداب ظله
ورعى ببسمته غراما ما راى الأحباب مثله
وتركت احلامي لديك وعدت بالقلب المدله
وضممت حبك فى دمي فضممت فيه الكون كله
حتى إذا جن الحنين وشب نارا حولنا
ذوبنا فلم ندرك أأنت دعوت حبي ... أم أنا

عيناك فى مسرى الليالي ياحبيبي نجمتان
عيناك اغنيتان ضاحكتان همسهما حنان
يا مرفأ الأشواق في عينيك كم ضحك الزمان
واضاء حبك حولنا ليلا يعانقه السنا
وعرفت ذاتي حين قالت لى عيونك ... من أنا

"At the present time, I long only to sleep and to remain silent. I am sick of humanity."

- Albert Camus

"Now I have neither happiness nor unhappiness.

Everything passes.

That is the one and only thing that I have thought resembled a truth in the society of human beings where I have dwelled up to now as in a burning hell.
Everything passes."

- No Longer Human, Dazai Osamu

"Whenever I was asked what I wanted my first impulse was to answer "Nothing." The thought went through my mind that it didn't make any difference, that nothing was going to make me happy."